World Another Exploding Chair causes Anal Penetration: This time, it's a steel frame stool

tom_mai78101

The Helper Connoisseur / Ex-MineCraft Host
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A girl has been critically injured after the chair she was sitting on exploded, propelling sharp chair fragments into her rear with devastating consequences. The girl, a resident of Xiamen in China’s Fujian province, was sat using her computer when the chair she was sitting on exploded. She was quickly taken to hospital, and in emergency surgery doctors recovered a dozen screws and fragments of plastic from her flesh. Though severely injured and barely conscious, her condition is now stable.

Just why the chair exploded is not recorded, but the previous case of a boy killed by a similar explosion indicates the likely cause – the boy, also Chinese, was killed when a manufacturing defect caused the gas cylinder in the chair to explode, propelling sharp parts into his rectum and causing him to bleed to death before help could arrive..

A number of other cases of Chinese chairs exploding are also recorded – dubious standards of manufacturing in such chairs has the unfortunate side effect of turning them into potential death traps, capable of exploding with considerable force and projecting the cylinder and parts of the chair into the vulnerable rear of anyone unfortunate enough to be so seated when the chair goes off.

 
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13lade619

is now a game developer :)
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Just why the chair exploded is not recorded, but the previous case of a boy killed by a similar explosion indicates the likely cause – the boy, also Chinese, was killed when a manufacturing defect caused the gas cylinder in the chair to explode, propelling sharp parts into his rectum and causing him to bleed to death before help could arrive..
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NightShade

Ultra Cool Member
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it's pressurized air (hence the term gas) that helps the chair move up and down. to move up you pull a lever that loosens the things that stop the gas cylinder from sliding to it's full position so it slowly moves upward. (extremely vague terms ftw.)
 

Wiseman_2

Missy wants blood!
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Even chairs without gas cylinders can be annoying, if not a bit dangerous. The chair I'm sitting on now feels like it's eating me alive; I'm pretty sure there's something small and annoying living in it that keeps biting me, 'cos numerous tiny bite marks (like insect bites) have shown up on my back and neck. Still, I am at least moving out of this crappy student hall next week, so they can have their crappy chair back and I can go back to using non-explody, non-carnivourous chairs again :p
 

SineCosine

I'm still looking for my Tangent
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First, eels!
Now, Chair shrapnel!

DAMN YOU CHINESE!
DO YOUR FETISHES KNOW NO BOUNDARIES!!??
 

Durandal

New Member
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I think this calls for lawsuit

*brian regen voice* SUE LAWYER SUE!

Yes I know they can't do that in China but it's still fun to joke about it

Anyways, man that day would fuckin blow

Talk about getting a cap(literally) blown in your ass...
 

Dan

The New Helper.Net gives me great Anxiety... o.O;;
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Extreme musical chairs.
 

jonadrian619

-___-
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That is why I prefer monobloc chairs over office chairs.

This time the girl survived, and that's a good thing since in the other case the boy died :(
 

DarkRevenant

Mad Scientist
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How in the hell is there enough pressure on the gas for it to explode with enough force to send steel flying?

I'd imagine that they adorn their chairs with pressurized hydrogen.
 

FireCat

Oh Shi.. Don't wake the tiger!
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That's Just awful.
No ones chair should blow up and they STILL haven't done anything to correct it. :thdown:
 

Squll2

je'ne sais pas
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How in the hell is there enough pressure on the gas for it to explode with enough force to send steel flying?

I'd imagine that they adorn their chairs with pressurized hydrogen.

Its like a spring the more and more its pushed together (compressed) the more potential force it gains and thus releases kinetically when allowed.
 

SineCosine

I'm still looking for my Tangent
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Its like a spring the more and more its pushed together (compressed) the more potential force it gains and thus releases kinetically when allowed.

She must have been sitting really, really low for it have exploded, then ._.
 
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