World Japan: A 14-year-old died from anal penetration of an exploding PC chair

Discussion in 'News Archive' started by tom_mai78101, Feb 20, 2009.

  1. tom_mai78101

    tom_mai78101 The Helper Connoisseur / Ex-MineCraft Host Staff Member

    Note: Translated from an Japanese news article.

    Original Source (Itai News, Japanese): Link
    Source of Translation: Link

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

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    Dude...How lucky it is for me to sit on the floor playing Warcraft 3 right now...
    • Like Like x 1
  2. UndeadDragon

    UndeadDragon Super Moderator Staff Member

    That would put most people off having one of those chairs.
  3. WastedSavior

    WastedSavior A day without sunshine is like, well, night. Staff Member

    Kinda makes you think about the things you use everyday that arn't as harmless as they appear to be.
  4. Romek

    Romek Super Moderator Staff Member

    I'm sitting on a chair exactly like that right now.
    ...
    ...
    ... =|
  5. FireCat

    FireCat Oh Shi.. Don't wake the tiger!

    Oh crap, That’s really messed up
    Yeah! indeed.. never know!
  6. BlowingKush

    BlowingKush I hit the blunt but the blunt hit me.

    I'm guessing this article is fake.
  7. CaptDeath

    CaptDeath New Member

    shouldnt the chair have blood on it?
    think if shrpanel jeust exploded into your rectum
    wouldnt you bleed on that chair?
    just a thought
  8. thewrongvine

    thewrongvine The Evolved Panda Commandant Staff Member

    Internal bleeding? Dude, I am getting off my chair right now.

    ~Hai-Bye-Vine~
  9. BlowingKush

    BlowingKush I hit the blunt but the blunt hit me.

    Good point.

    Even if there was blood and they cleaned it up, there is no way they could suck it completely out of that yellow foam.
    It looks brand new inside.
    The only way I see this happening is if there was a small tear in the lining, that allowed a series of farts over many months, to build up a pressurized pocket of methane that was ignited by a spark when he tried to raise the chair seat.
  10. Romek

    Romek Super Moderator Staff Member

    Maybe he fell off the chair the moment it exploded?
    I doubt he was on the chair long enough for the blood to sink into the foam, or even get on the chair.
  11. Wiseman_2

    Wiseman_2 Missy wants blood!

    It's just an example.
  12. BlowingKush

    BlowingKush I hit the blunt but the blunt hit me.


    Whenever a projectile enters your anus at high velocity, you bleed. You bleed fast.
  13. Frosthowl

    Frosthowl Member

    *looks around*

    *stands up and grabs foldable chair*

    *replaces old chair*

    *goes back to playing WC3*
  14. CaptDeath

    CaptDeath New Member

    @frost howl i think the pain from having a chair explode into your rectum would prevent standing up
    -edit-
    Oh
    wow
    dedicated
  15. thewrongvine

    thewrongvine The Evolved Panda Commandant Staff Member

    ... lol CaptDeath don't you mean Romek?

    If you meant Frosthowl's post, he means himself.

    ~Hai-Bye-Vine~
  16. Romek

    Romek Super Moderator Staff Member

    > Whenever a projectile enters your anus at high velocity, you bleed. You bleed fast.
    I'm sure he was off that chair within a second or so though.

    I hate you all by the way. Especially Uber. <3
  17. Blackveiled

    Blackveiled Formerly, Ban-Lord

    Thats horrible, lol.

    *boy enters heaven*
    Boy: Wow, heaven looks pretty nice.
    *boy walks over to a table with a few men sitting at it*
    Boy: Wow, its Kurt Cobain!
    Boy: How did you die?!
    Cobain: I got depressed, too many drugs, so I shot myself. You?
    Boy: Oh you know, anal penetration of my exploding chair.
  18. Azlier

    Azlier Old World Ghost

    >Cobain: I got depressed, too many drugs, so I shot myself. You?

    How'd he get into heaven?! Still, a good point you make.
  19. tom_mai78101

    tom_mai78101 The Helper Connoisseur / Ex-MineCraft Host Staff Member

    He died from blood loss on his way to the hospital.
  20. Nivius

    Nivius New Member

    wt... finnaly a reason to convince my gf so that i can buy a new computer chair :D

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