I'm now an officially mad man.

[tom_mai78101]

Right now, it's 5:49AM, and I haven't slept or taken a shower since yesterday.

To tell you the truth, the reason I didn't take a shower (I should be taking one between 10PM and 12AM) and start sleeping (I should be asleep by 12AM to 1AM, depending on how heavy I sleep), is because of a programming hobby burnout. I'm getting close to losing my mind (well, erratic behaviors of hygiene and sleep), and I need to find a place to vent all of this out "permanently".

My creativity somehow dropped massively. I can't think or create anything other than mere simple objects, such as a cube-shaped polygon, or typing the same old codes back and forth. I've been trying to practice the arts of setting up an OpenGL environment, especially on the smartphone, where it supports OpenGL ES 1.1 and 2.0.

To create, one must have a design plan to back it up. One does not simply design it, though. It's either me with a designer's block, or there's no definite goal plan, unlike the clear goals I once had when working on my "big" Android project.

Not only the above mentioned just barely scratched the "surface" of this craziness, the main "core" issues, is that I'm being put off with idealistic plans, which I think you can call me an idealist for it. One of my major plans is to learn how to animate 3D objects via OpenGL ES 2.0 on my Android phone. Having stepped through the basics of 3D animation, I know about the simple concepts of rigging and using a dopesheet to create keyframes for the animation.

The difficulty of exporting animation to a file format that's small (binary files), supports animation, and it's easy to parse/read it is enormously huge. It's as if the learning curve suddenly went O(n^n). Not only that, as a person who hates relying on imported libraries, the learning difficulty is raised up by 2 orders of magnitude.

It is here that kills me for no apparent reason. It irks me, even if my conscious mind is telling me there's nothing wrong, and I'm just thinking too much on it. I don't even know how to describe it.

I was planning on adding an animated mesh into my OpenGL ES game, hopefully (ideally) improve more on it so that it may turn out to be 3D RPG game, with an overhead chase cam. Right now, it's 6:17AM, the sun is above the horizon. Been typing and thinking to myself don't seem to help me much anyway.

Just wanted to vent all of the frustrating feeling that I simply get without realizing out of my body. Perhaps I need to start making much more realistic goals, perhaps I need to start from 2D, and work on 3D when I earn more job experiences (which I'm currently not, in fact, I'm going in the opposite direction). I probably don't even know if I can be able to get programming animation integration experiences from future jobs, as my outlook of my future is bleak as hell.

The last "core" issues is probably the hygiene. Because of the way I'm "blocked", I lost motivation to clean myself and take a rest. Now I keep smelling body odor, to the point that I know that I'm in deep shit. The lack of sleep isn't going to help me get out of this mess I have created subconsciously.

Just start picturing me of some homeless shaved guy typing away on the keyboard. I'm that filthy.

 

[Accname]

Dude what the fuck. Get a hold of yourself man.
If you lost your motivation just do anything else.
A week ago i realized that there is a major flaw in my current Item-System of my main project. It just didnt work the way I actually wanted it to work. Since then I kinda lost motivation to work on it until i am absolutely 100% sure what i want it to look like.
So i have spent alot of time with my girlfriend, or even learning for university. (wtf?)

And working on side-projects, writing documentations for my code, etc etc etc.

And for the love of god just take a shower man...

 

[Syndrome]

Tom_mai, if you're dead set on trying to get some creativity done you could try listening to music and imagine scenes to them. That's what I do whenever I hit writer's block or any other kind of block.

My tastes in music are questionable at best, but maybe it might help you.

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgfmCE_jA75kdGCy5uWuOPvWh_PvxS2I0

My other advice would be exactly like Accname, but the priority would go to the shower first.
We're here for you bud, hopefully this might help you a little.

 

[Whitesock]

lol nub l2allnighter

-art student



...But really no reason to not set lofty goals, just break them down into manageable, smaller goals. You want to make a 3d game and learn how to code it, then focus on one aspect. Code or 3d model. After that break those into chunks.

 

[tom_mai78101]

And for the love of god just take a shower man...

I did right around 7AM, and slept from 7:30AM to 2:50PM.

You want to make a 3d game and learn how to code it, then focus on one aspect. Code or 3d model. After that break those into chunks.

Realistically, I should try staying in the 2D, and not venture forth with 3D. I should side with that decision until either someone guides me with 3D animation programming, or tries to help me set a few goals (on second thought, this is to be discouraged.).

-------------------------
Off-topic:

I think I have asked this "where do I begin if I'm lost?" type of question since 2006 on multiple forums, but I haven't had any answers to it. This question is directly correlated to focusing on the aspects of each individual projects. Venting out my current state is somewhat unrelated to this, but it's just worth mentioning anyway.

In order to reach a knowledge level of A (learning new stuffs and fully understand them = reaching A), where should I start? Reading books that aren't available to you (i.e., how to do 3D animation by programming) is one thing, trying to find online free tutorials that teaches the very thing I wanted to learn about is almost non-existent (only being able to find discussions about it, but not learning materials).

Either that, or I can only go up to A, slowly and painstakingly.

 

[Accname]

In my opinion its much harder to make somewhat decent looking 3D models then good looking 2D sprites.
3D might actually be alot easier if you know how to do it, but it will probably look like crap if you are not great at it.
You can make some very simple 2D graphics and still have a good looking game. Simple but nice.

But if you are actually interested in learning 3D modeling then just do it.
There are plenty of people who make 3D models for wc3 for example at thehiveworkshop.
That would be a start to understand the basics of model making. And you can see the results fast and easy.

But making all 3D models for your project yourself will probably be pretty hard.

 

[s3rius]

In my eyes making simple models for 3d worlds (think Minecraft) sound easier than making 2d sprites.
I tried both, I suck at both, but my 3d models at least marginally represented humans

My suggestions:

A) Take a god damn break! It's your hobby, not a punishment. Read a book or watch a movie, play some video games (maybe one that inspired you to try animations). Or at the very least find yourself some other small programming project you'd like to do.

B) Jump over your own shadow and accept that you can't find a perfect solution for everything.

I'm very much like you in this aspect: I dislike others' libraries because I want to make them myself, I made my own 3D model format instead of relying on an existing one, I always try to do things perfectly.
But at the end of the day you're still only one guy. At some points it's just too much work.
By all means, go ahead and make your own model format, but screw efficiency. Make sure it does what is has to do (and make sure it does what you need it to) and just get it working.

I'm sure that's nothing you haven't heard before. But it has worked for me.

Oh, and a nice link:
http://research.ncl.ac.uk/game/mastersdegree/graphicsforgames/
Newcastle University has game programming courses, with most of their materials available for everyone. There's some cool stuff.

My tastes in music are questionable at best, but maybe it might help you.

Anyone who questions this choice of music should be put to death, then tortured and finally put to death again.

 

[KaerfNomekop]

My tastes in music are questionable at best, but maybe it might help you.

my god that was so beautiful +sub

EDIT: OH FUCK TIME IS ON THE LIST DAMMIT WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME

I think I have asked this "where do I begin if I'm lost?" type of question since 2006 on multiple forums, but I haven't had any answers to it. This question is directly correlated to focusing on the aspects of each individual projects.

When you're lost, anywhere but here is a good destination. Even if you can't learn 3D modelling in its optimal context, you might still tinker around until you find something that pleases you. Doing so also helps in coming up with ideas.

If you're facing creative block: You could simply choose a random topic and brainstorm with some friends; multiple minds are more productive than one. Or go to Google Images and type a random word, then draw inspiration from the things that come up.

Either that, or I can only go up to A, slowly and painstakingly.

And you will be so much better off for doing so. It's ecstasy when you finally see the fruits of labour.

 

[FireCat]

Ooh You Filthy @Tom
Just take a break and let your "stress melt away! "

 

[Darthfett]

Alright, who decided to make tom a super moderator?! Just 7 hours later, and we've already driven him mad?!

Tom, check out your new magic powers. Preferably not on me.

 

[Varine]

You've gone insane, Tom. This, us? This forum? It's not real, none of it is real. It's time to wake up.

Wake up, Tom. There's work to do.

 

[tom_mai78101]

I'll be damned...

Alright, who decided to make tom a super moderator?! Just 7 hours later, and we've already driven him mad?!

Tom, check out your new magic powers. Preferably not on me.

Wut? It has no correlations with what I'm about to do here. :/

 

[Varine]

what I'm about to do here. :/

Don't do it. Suicide's not the answer!

 

[tom_mai78101]

Don't do it. Suicide's not the answer!

I'm thinking the opposite.

 

[Varine]

... immortality?

 

[FireCat]

Immortal? Oh lol
Tom would only be immune to death by time, but he could still get eaten by a shark!! ha ha

 

[s3rius]

.. cloning?

 

[tom_mai78101]

Update:

This is helping me churn my disappointment of myself into motivation, but lacking in free time to put motivation in productivity.