Nice, I like it.
Some minor grammar errors, and general things I'd say is to vary your vocabulary (like you use "illuminated 3 or 4 times in this first page, maybe say 'light up' or something) and keep your tenses right, you sometimes switched from past to present, etc.
Anyways, it's great and suspenseful. The ending there was good, like a lose-win-lose-win thing o.o :thup:
@Varine lol the probation officer can't do anything as long as you don't violate your court conditions. I got a DWI in 2017 and had to get a breathalyzer in my car. My license was suspended so I wasn't driving it. She was telling me she wanted me to blow in it like every 12 hours and I was just like lol nah I'm not doing that. She can't add on extra conditions, they're clearly stated in the court order the rules of your probation. But with that said, don't violate any either which is obvious lol
But I feel bad for you, my experience was totally different. My probation officers never bothered me, never sent me for drug screenings, never gave me a hard time besides that one ask which I basically refused. Because the court conditions specifically stated for it to be installed in my vehicle and to be used prior to using the vehicle.
So Varine asked me a while back if I was turning this into a cooking site - well yes and no. I am going to keep promoting the recipes but soon I am going to do a sub site like WET - I hope my resident cooks will get on board I will promote you guys and your recipes and make you famous