Nice, I like it.
Some minor grammar errors, and general things I'd say is to vary your vocabulary (like you use "illuminated 3 or 4 times in this first page, maybe say 'light up' or something) and keep your tenses right, you sometimes switched from past to present, etc.
Anyways, it's great and suspenseful. The ending there was good, like a lose-win-lose-win thing o.o :thup:
Haha, I remember taking a taxi in Beijing last year and the cabbie lectured me about how safe China is compared to America, then he made a gun with his fingers and pretended to shoot in the air while making "pew pew" sounds
Is the school system in your country similar to Chinese school system? I could never imagine being a teacher in a Chinese school, what's expected of students and teachers is just so different from what I'd be looking for as a teacher