You guys are crazing, flooding my page 
I like it, both you and Dyslexia's. Intense and fun.
For the CC, I guess you could use less dead-verb sentences, o.o So instead of just "something "was" something", more description instead of just 'is' and 'was' and 'be' etc. But I like the pace of the story. The content is also interesting, another reader won't exactly know what's happening, but it's still strange (in a good way, like part of the story ha).
I like it, both you and Dyslexia's. Intense and fun.
For the CC, I guess you could use less dead-verb sentences, o.o So instead of just "something "was" something", more description instead of just 'is' and 'was' and 'be' etc. But I like the pace of the story. The content is also interesting, another reader won't exactly know what's happening, but it's still strange (in a good way, like part of the story ha).