2011 Poetry Contest - January [Loss]

[DM Cross]

The poetry contests of TheHelper.net's Writer's Corner have returned! Starting in 2011, they will become a monthly event. I will be looking into awards for the winners, but more on that later.

Let's begin with the January contest! The topic of the month is

LOSS​

Personal loss, financial loss, any kind of loss. Real or made-up, yours or a loss you were a spectator for... Tell us about loss! There is no length limit and no, you do not have to rhyme.

Judging will be done according to the following categories:
Clarity - does your work make sense and can it be read?
Focus - do you stay on topic or stray?
Language - do you use simple words or are you articulate?
Spelling/grammar - did you spellcheck your work?
Flow - does the writing flow naturally or is it choppy?

You will be rated on a scale of 1-5 in each category. That means you can score a total of 25 points. The poet with the most points wins!

Please note: only total scores will be given! You will not get a breakdown of the category scores, please do not ask. This prevents people from becoming disgruntled with their scores. Please trust our judge.

Speaking thus, as of now, we have one judge. Me. I will be seeking out specific possible other candidates, but leave that to me.

Entries are due by 01/24/2011. Scores will be revealed no later than 01/31/2011.

CURRENT ENTRIES
Ninva - Untitled
rappunk23 - Untitled
Monsterous - Pieces
Wiseman_2 - Hemlock
esb - Lost​

 

[Zakyath]

I'm in And wouldn't it be good to tell the contestants what their weaknesses are so they can improve?

 

[DM Cross]

That is one of the cons to not showing the category scores. But the biggest pro and the reason we've always done it this way and always will is that people can argue that they think they should have scored higher, especially people who missed 1rst, 2nd, or 3rd place by a point or two. Then when the scores don't get changed, it becomes a big deal and then that person for some reason or another doesn't participate in the next one.

Best to do things the same way we always have.

If it ain't broke, after all...

 

[Zakyath]

That is one of the cons to not showing the category scores. But the biggest pro and the reason we've always done it this way and always will is that people can argue that they think they should have scored higher, especially people who missed 1rst, 2nd, or 3rd place by a point or two. Then when the scores don't get changed, it becomes a big deal and then that person for some reason or another doesn't participate in the next one.

Best to do things the same way we always have.

If it ain't broke, after all...

Well, you should at least give some motivation to why the contestants get high/low score, I think that's the best reward this site can give for being in the contests but then again, it's up to you

 

[Ninva]

I'm in.

---

The little boy went to war today.
He took aside his life as we prayed:
“Oh brother, come home someday.”
And he said:

“O, no war shall kill me; for supple –
Foes and death will fall at my feet.
With the one song of my nation’s
Sons; I shall fight thine enemies!”

Winters passed as the boy did bite
His rivals in their wake. With noble
Gusto and violent struggles, he
Vanquished many enemies.

Neither giants nor villains impede our hero:
Our son and brother and great comrade.
But in the night, when we were ill-prepared;
A bomb murdered our son and friend.

In blood and torpor of his corpse,
He did stand, not with voice or foot:
His zeal was felt all amongst us.
And this psalm cried from one’s caput:

“Thou free and brilliant boy!
How did not our opponent kill
Our strength and innocence
With one death of chance?”

“Do not the gods smile upon us?
Why must thou die when we need
Thy hand to strike down upon the
Evil culprit who designed thine death?”

And our brothers spoke to each other:
“Peace brother, for the winter will soon
Pass and the foe will tire before us.
And we’ll break free from his cold hands."

“They shall crumble as we slay
Each and every rival who says,
‘Thou shalt conquer destiny –
For thy hero is dead and silent.’”

 

[DM Cross]

Post 1 updated with current entries.

We will need more than 2 entries, everyone

 

[Monsterous]

Im going to try something... experimental, ive never tried to write like this, but i hope its a good read. Channeling the forces of symbolism, comparison and other things now learnt, I give you my take.

Spoiler

Pieces

Imagine a flawed diamond,
Cracked, pried, defiled.
No longer divine, no longer pure,
Merely, gone.

Nothing but minor fragments,
Once slivers of things.
Perhaps things great, perhaps things good,
But no more.

Fashioned to be imperfect.
Enslaved by us all.

And as it broke apart.
Fire engulfed.

Mayhem, destruction, chaos,
Echoes of anguish,
Wails of agony,
Laments of death.

Yet looking at the world now,
Are things so different?
Maybe.
Our world is still whole.

Edit Note: After re-reading it, i feel i could have made it longer, but i feel it should end there. Making it too long would make the idea obvious, amongst other things possibly ;D
Edit Note 2: Finally thought of a name!

 

[DM Cross]

Added the two new entries to Post 1.

Guys, don't forget, you're allowed to title your poems So far, no one has...

 

[Monsterous]

I couldn't think of one for quite some time, but ive titled it now
Im mostly happy with the title, but i might think of another one.

 

[DM Cross]

Still taking entries for 10 more days. Than entries will no longer be accepted, but I will be judging each poem and we'll have a winner within 7 days time

 

[Ninva]

I liked the original better.

 

[Ninva]

I always thought the rule was whatever you submit must be remain unedited or replaced.

 

[DM Cross]

Actually, yes, that IS one of the old rules;

Do not edit your poem after you've entered it. You have until the deadline to work on it, so if you feel you might not be completely satisfied with it, take your time. Once it's entered, if you edit your poem, you can and will be disqualified. We cannot take the risk of someone getting "inspired" by someone else's poem and basically copying them.

However, it is my fault for not making that clear this time. We will allow it for now and in future contests, I will make those kinds of rules more clear.

So for now, I'll allow it.

 

[DM Cross]

Like I said, it's my fault for not explaining all the rules so for this contest, feel free to do edits and change the poem...

That goes for anyone, too. Just this one time Cheaters.

 

[Wiseman_2]

My first time entering anything like this... still, one of my resolutions was to write more, and dammit, I'm going to make sure that is what I do.

Hemlock

The scars still fresh from the blunted knife
Painful memory of how you took your life
They found you tied nude to the bed
Your bloodied wrists stained white to red
My chamber still haunted by the shadow of your ghost
I was never there when your need for me was most
Rest easy my love, for I shall be with you soon
As I relinquish my life by the light of the moon
For as I sit here reflecting on the echoes of my past
I look out this night, knowing it my last
Bittersweet leaf ground down into dust
My want for its end becoming like lust
Hemlock burns in the pit of my chest
As I lay me down to final rest
The light dims as my muscles slack
Now I am gone
Faded to black

 

[DM Cross]

Wow, talk about last minute.

Everyone, there is only ONE more day. By MIDNIGHT MONDAY NIGHT, the entries will be closed and I will be doing the judging.

 

[esb]

Late.

You give.
You take.
Constantly missing what you take,
never enjoying what you give.
I look back and regret many things,
I forget to look forward and see;
Great things that you are going to give,
For I only remember the evil that you did.
All at once you are something I will never have.
Yet I am all you will ever own.
Many have tried to control you,
Many have laughed at those who try.
You are the untamable,
a beast, within, everywhere, and out.
In a moment you come,
In that same moment
you leave.
You've cost me so dearly,
why can't you return,
my beloved time?

It's 11:06P.M. Pacific D=
Hope I make it still.

 

[DM Cross]

Crap, once again, I forget details. I had meant Eastern time, but since I did not make this clear, I cannot blame people for not knowing. I will allow the entry, but ALL ENTRIES ARE NOW FINISHED! Please, no one submit anymore and you guys will have your results probably sooner than expected

 

[Zakyath]

Damn, my internet's been down the last few days so I missed the deadline... well, best of luck to you all

 

[Ninva]

We're eagerly awaiting the scores.