General Britney Said She Was the Antichrist, Tried to Commit Suicide

[The Helper]

The British tabloid press reported that last Saturday, Britney Spears was running around the luxurious Promises Clinic in Malibu, California, with the number 666 written on her bald head. "She was crying, and shouting, ‘I am the Antichrist!'", NewsoftheWorld reported.

"Later that night she tried to kill herself," a "friend" told NOTW. "She attached a sheet to a light and tied it around her neck. Paramedics were called, but luckily she was unhurt."

"The clinic people just didn't know what to do [when she ran around claiming she's the Antichrist]. Then she started screaming, ‘I'm a fake! I'm a fake!' It must have been really frightening."

 

[monoVertex]

Wow, she really got off the rail lol.

 

[Exide]

Does anyone still care about what Britney does anymore?
I'm quite fed up with her by now. I want some real news. I don't want to hear about drug addicted attention-whores who attempts to commit suicide or actually does.

 

[Demi666]

idiotic-_-

 

[Corleone]

Funny. Just let her jump off a bridge, if that's what she wants to do. Celeberties get far too much attention these days. Most TV channels here are spammed with news about Brad Pitts new hat, or something unimportant like that...

 

[Mahucharn]

Thats just plain scary/ creepy.

 

[Amfidamant]

I don't get it.

Some sort of celebrity that has lost it's fame wants to get it back by running around and yelling she's an anti-christ, shaving her head off (Space monkey yah!) and writing 666 on it, and then trying to commit a suicide.
She might have problems, but this desperate call for help, as peopel call suicides, is more like desperate call for fame to me.
After all, I can bet that there are thousands of people like her, runing around with shaved heads, yelling "I'm the anti-christ" and stuff, but how many of them do YOU know? None? What a surprise.

 

[Lord_Phoenix]

Funny. Just let her jump off a bridge, if that's what she wants to do. Celeberties get far too much attention these days. Most TV channels here are spammed with news about Brad Pitts new hat, or something unimportant like that...

Brad Pitt wears clothes? woah!

Anyways, notice its a Tabloid!

I have a news article that says a monkey spanked everyone who played spank the monkey.

 

[w/e]

Oh god. I'm next!

 

[hi_im_bob]

I really hate how people like Britney Spears and Anna Nichol Smith get al this attention, when there are so many more importaint things happening in the world.

 

[AceHart]

> so many more important things

Global warming? Donald Trump? Xbox getting extra memory? The "month of bugs" for PHP?
Nah... these are the things that make the news.

 

[XXXconanXXX]

Wow, her career goes down the drain because she f'ed up, so she resorts to crap like this to stay in the news.

It's so easy to kill yourself it's not even funny. Just do it and leave us alone, it's like failing as failing.

...Xbox getting extra memory?...

That should be a more important news priority than Brittney.

 

[Rinpun]

"...Donald Trump..."

Warren Buffet >> Donald Trump.

 

[phyrex1an]

>It's so easy to kill yourself it's not even funny.
Talking from your own experience I suppose?

 

[Rinpun]

I think he was saying it's easy to kill yourself on the physical side. Of course, with most suicidals, they have to convince themselves they want to die and that's the hard part. In Britney's case, it's obviously for attention. Terrell Owens did the same bloody thing halfway through the last NFL season.

 

[Peanuthead]

This is funny, that britney is such a comedian.

Anyway its not easy to kill yourself(unless of course you have a mindset where life is no matter, no I am not refering to any group which acts like they think this way). It is easy however to get killed.

Maybe she realized what a absolutely stupid move it was to shave her head and just went nuts... when people refer to popularized stuff to prove their point 666(for britney) or roswell(for the alien dude), you know their full of it.

 

[XXXconanXXX]

>It's so easy to kill yourself it's not even funny.
Talking from your own experience I suppose?

No, never wanted to kill myself. But there are so many ways. Hell, drive your car into a lake far out somewhere, or even better, you could be walking upstairs in your school and dive headfirst onto the lower level.

If I wanted to kill myself, I wouldn't be a pansy and I'd actually do it. But I don't so I'm not. =P

 

[Peanuthead]

If I wanted to kill myself, I wouldn't be a pansy and I'd actually do it. But I don't so I'm not. =P

A real pansy would take the easy way out. It doesn't make you cool or tough to claim stuff like this either.

 

[XXXconanXXX]

A real pansy would take the easy way out. It doesn't make you cool or tough to claim stuff like this either.

Yes, but my point was, people like Britney running around and using inadequate tactics are doing them for the sole purpose of attention. No, I wasn't trying to be "cool," or "tough," but simply stating that someone who was in a bad enough situation to truly kill themselves would not do it in front of a crowd of people or by using tactics such as burning a small portion of their flesh.

 

[sqrage]

A real pansy would take the easy way out. It doesn't make you cool or tough to claim stuff like this either.

Have you never taken the easy way out of anything?


On Topic:

yea, I read this on newgrounds, wasn't sure if it was real because the source didn't look too convincing, then I remembered, it is Britney Spears...