Build-A-Character!

Discussion in 'The Writer's Corner' started by DM Cross, Mar 22, 2012.

  1. DM Cross

    DM Cross You want to see a magic trick? Staff Member

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    Corruption is book 1 of 5 in the Stinda Series.

    Corruption was started when I was 13... I'm 23 now, so Corruption was born sometime around 2002.

    Torture and kill would be more accurate, but yes, essentially you got the idea.

    Fun fact; Alexander kills his own father after Tyrale has attacked him. I've always believed that his mindset has been "Better to die quickly than long and drawn out".

    Guardians still age, but much slower than Human beings. During the times of the Stinda Series, Thomas looks to be around the same age as his older brother, despite his older brother being five years older than he is.

    It is theorized that Guardians are immortal since there is no record of one every dying of old age.

    Furthermore, Alexander vows not to kill his own brother and on several occasions refuses to go that final step.
     
  2. Fatmankev

    Fatmankev Chef, Writer, and Midnight Toker

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    Why were the Guardians formed, and how long have they been around for? Considering that Alexander is only the second vampire, it might not make sense for this organization to have been around for an extended period of time, so Thomas would have to be one of the first Guardians, too.

    Also, I like the 'go-quick, don't-suffer' attitude because it adds something that could be considered a flaw, which wasn't made apparent anywhere else; in my eyes, character flaws are what make the characters real, and I think this will go toward serving that purpose.
     
  3. Fatmankev

    Fatmankev Chef, Writer, and Midnight Toker

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    Ashe Hackett a.k.a. the Commander-General
    Species: Homo Sapien
    Subspecies: Sapien
    Genre/World: Fantasy, Mundus

    Physical Description:
    Hackett stands straight and tall with his chest poked out, his heels clapped together and hands clasped firmly in the small of his back. Even with his impeccable posture, he stands at 6'0", and under his flashy armor it's difficult to tell whether it's a muscular physique or a podgy mess. Almost the opposite to his Guard-General counterpart, Erickar, Hackett is all about dashing appearances and meticulous grooming. His clean-shaven jaw doesn't offer so much as a hint of stubble, accompanying a somewhat handsome yet pompous face with an upturned nose. Often sporting a telling smirk, his apparent goodwill is belied by the venom in his dark eyes, watching his fellows like a coiled serpent with his head fixed staring and his body almost layered over itself.

    Weapons: The man carries a jeweled, intricately crafted long sword that would likely shatter if ever used in actual combat, wearing it more for show to add to his ritzy image. Never trained in the arts of war, his skills are laughable at best and downright embarrassing otherwise. However, if a devilish tongue and a razor-wit could be considered weapons, then he'd be... well, equipped, if nothing else.

    Powers: As a human, he has no magical powers. As the Commander-General, he commands the entire armed forces of their kingdom, leading them to battle against enemy nations (from the comfort of the capital, of course). Although in wartime, he's technically allowed to draw forces from the Guard-General's reserves, but he and Erickar Vasallus are constantly at odds when it comes to this. He's in charge of having new troops recruited, of administering them and having them deployed, of tactics and anything else pertaining to the army; however, he rarely bothers with the tediousness of the military life, and instead focuses his powers on trying to secure his position, or possibly ascend to the Magister's seat, whilst ridding himself of the more troublesome council members and trying to have his own people winning seats. Instead of watching them himself, he usually administers full leadership to Lupus Ferrum, his acting general.

    Attitude and History: Always hungry for greater power, Hackett dreamed of the day he would own his father's lands since he was a child. Ever desperate to acquire this wealth, he would sometimes fantasize about smothering his father in his sleep, or poisoning his breakfast, or any number of sneaky methods he could pass off on someone else and get away with. It wasn't long before he finally gathered up the nerve one night after his father, Lord Embuhr Hackett, had thrown a feast. After cooking up a tincture of rosary peas, which his father's apothecary had told him contained a horrible poison, he mixed a tip of the cup's worth into a goblet of wine for his father, and presented it to him with exultant pride. Lord Hackett, having no reason to suspect any ill will from his son, took the goblet and downed it merrily. All night, young Ashe Hackett watched and waited for his father's health to turn, for the coughing and the vomiting and everything that would follow, but it never came.

    Eventually, it was too late in the night and the people were too drunk, and one by one they retired to their rooms. Furious and devastated, Ashe went to his bedchambers and began scheming anew; he knew that his father was drunk, passed out cold. He decided that he'd go in and smother his father in his sleep, and sneak back to his own room. Set on his plan, he made for his father's room to set it into action, but halfway there he heard the cries of panic. Racing to his father's room, he made it in time to watch him fall to the ground on all floors spewing blood and vomit across the room like a dragon breathing fire. He watched on, horrified, as he father gurgled and gasped in agony, writhing in his own blood and slop. It was a long, unforgettable night, but by the time the sun broke, Lord Embuhr Hackett was no more, and Lord Ashe Hackett was born. He was only twelve.

    After pointing fingers at the apothecary for having his father poisoned, and following the man's subsequent execution, Ashe Hackett took over rule of his father's lordship, reveling in his newfound command and soon forgetting the horrors of that night. Still, he was not satisfied - he was no better than any of the nineteen other lords, and he was far below the king, still. But having no way to do anything about it, he was forced to wallow in his malcontent. Salvation met him in the form of a man calling himself Bentley Overleigh, promising him a position as one of the six most powerful men in the kingdom. Thinking himself clever, he demanded that he be in command of the army, and Overleigh graciously obliged. Committing his forces to Overleigh, the battle was soon fought and won, and Ashe took command of his post with relish.

    Caring for no one but himself and for nothing but higher standing and command, Ashe Hackett wears a friendly guise at all times in an effort to keep his enemies (which include his friends) at ease and unprepared. Although not necessarily the brightest man and liable to take shortcuts, he is formally educated and knows how to play into people's strengths and weaknesses. He has a very good eye when it comes to reading people, and he can often fool them into relinquishing information that they weren't likely to share.

    Personal Growth N/A

    Organization: He is a member of the council elected by the people and instated by Benton Overleigh, Magister of the nation; more specifically, he's the Commander-General, as described above. He possesses certain political powers that others on the council do not, but the same can be said for them as well.
    Thanks for letting me share.
     
  4. DM Cross

    DM Cross You want to see a magic trick? Staff Member

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    The Guardians are a species. Humans, Guardians, Witches and Hunters all existed from the beginning of the Human timeline. Only thing is, the Humans weren't aware of the existance of the others, at least not as a species.

    Guardians possess superhuman physical ability while Hunters have superhuman senses and animalistic personalities. Witches can tap into the forces around them, using it as "magic". Humans didn't have any real "ability" but have a knack for invention that the other races don't have. If not for humans, Guardians and Hunters and Witches would still have a world of castles, horses and swords. Humans created technology.

    The Guardians weren't "created" to fight the Vampires. When a Witch loses her Human husband in one of the Alexander the Great's wars, she uses dark magic to bring him back. But you can't truly bring back a life and her husband, Tyrale Corren comes back as the first Vampire. The Guardians declare him a monster and attempt to kill him but can't and when Tyrale begins to realize he can create other Vampires, it erupts in a war between Vampires and Guardians, who gain aid from the Hunters. And the Witches are outcasted from the alliance they formerly had with the Guardians and Hunters.

    Eventually, something happens between a Hunter and a Vampire that creates Lycanthropes, basically Hunters that can transform fully into other animals. Having their origin somewhat connected to Vampires, the Lycans are outcasted from Guardians and Hunters and become allies with Witches and Vampires.

    A loose, crappily told origin story of the Stinda Series world.
     
  5. Fatmankev

    Fatmankev Chef, Writer, and Midnight Toker

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    Lupus Ferrum, general to the Commander-General's forces
    Species: Homo Sapien
    Subspecies: Sapien
    Genre/World: Fantasy, Mundus

    Physical Description: Standing average at an unremarkable 5'10", Lupus sports a dark, short-cropped hairstyle better befitting a new recruit than a ranking captain. His dark-rimmed eyes hint at his fatigue, as do the premature lines creasing his face, making him appear beyond his years. His large, scarred hands rest steady at his sides, attuned to their surroundings and almost eager to draw the blade. His hooked nose rests over a clean-shaven mouth, two bushy sideburns trailing down the sides of his jaw hailing as the hairiest things on his head. Three silver hoops hang from his left ear in descending size, and an iron medallion can often be seen hanging from his neck when he's not adorned in his battle armor, a howling wolf carved expertly onto its surface.

    Weapons: Favoring the broadsword's superior hacking capabilities, he is exceedingly proficient in its use and can dual wield the blades successfully. Regardless, he prefers the sword-and-shield approach for warfare, tending to favor erring on the side of caution when it comes to war. He has a growing knowledge of siege weaponry and its use in warfare, and has several different siege machines at his disposal. Favoring the longbow on the days that he's feeling more vulnerable, he can pick up just about any weapon and use it effectively.

    Powers: As all humans, Lupus does not possess any magical abilities. As the general of the entire nation's army, however, he has quite a bit of power. Still, politically speaking, he has little worth beyond his vote, although he's paid quite well and has high social standing as a result. He commands the army and all of its actions, as long as the decisions sit well with Ashe Hackett, the Commander-General. Although Hackett is prone to being disproving of even the best situations, Lupus hears his grievances sympathetically and is rarely formally disciplined. He essentially assumes all of the duties of the Commander-General when he's not in the field (which is never, for the most part).

    History and Attitude: Lupus came to these lands as a wanderer, having traveled far to escape harsh times, climes, and people. Initially intending to sell his services as a sword-arm, he instead was acquired into the employ of Lord Embuhr Hackett. A reasonably fair ruler, Hackett provided Lupus with food, drink and a place to live. Satisfied with his new role in life, he pursued his duties fervently, and his vigor was not gone unnoticed. After Hackett promoted him to commanding his forces, he insisted that Hackett train his son as well. Although the sessions never resulted in anything out of Ashe Hackett, the boy seemed to develop a sense of trust in him that he otherwise displayed to no one.

    Upon Embuhr Hackett's death, there was much conspiracy as to the culprit; Ashe claimed the apothecary had poisoned Embuhr, but the apothecary swore that Ashe had come to him asking about the Rosary Pea just nights before Embuhr's death, claiming he was framed. Feeling a responsibility for the boy in respect to his father, Lupus made sure that the apothecary was executed and that the title remain undisputed - that Ashe Hackett be made the new lord. Thus, he has remained a loyal and faithful servant to Ashe, even as he became the Commander-General, and he now commands all of the nation's forces.

    Stern and contemplative, Lupus possesses a wisdom that few men of his years do. Considering different situations and tactics in every situation, he always makes sure to think his decisions through. Although command was never his first choice, he performs his duties without complaint and is fairly content with his life. He hates the pointless, greed-driven war that he's forced to fight, but his hatred doesn't keep him from fighting it.

    Personal Growth: Tired of fighting a pointless war for a man that doesn't even want to be involved, he'll eventually decide to run for the position of Commander-General against Ashe Hackett. Although remorseful for something he considers to be a betrayal, he feels it necessary to stop the greed-induced madness that has overcome the two nations over their petty boundaries. Never one to take a life for granted, he's brought into direct opposition of Hackett, and their persons clash in a verbal battle that leaves Lupus anguished but relieved, having revealed the truths he's known but never admitted even to himself. Eventually, he'll begin to find his own self-worth, and an inspiration to strive to make their nation greater by committing all of their forces to the same war he'd originally been fighting to end.

    Organization: He is the general of the (still unnamed) nation's forces, controlling all of their actions and the appointment of officers and what not. He holds a high social status due to his military standing, but does not possess any of the greater political powers of the council members.
    Thanks for letting me share.
     
  6. Fatmankev

    Fatmankev Chef, Writer, and Midnight Toker

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    I see, I see; well, it does make more sense, now. To the humans - we are some inventive bastards, aren't we?

    You know what caused the witches to become outcasts? Seems like there could be some interesting stuff going on with the alliances between the races, that's pretty good.

    Out of curiosity, how is it that Thomas becomes a Guardian? Do they have a similar (albeit assumedly less sinister) process to the Vampires'? I'm kinda interested in how you do that, usually it's only undead entities that can produce more of their own ilk. It's interesting.
     
  7. DM Cross

    DM Cross You want to see a magic trick? Staff Member

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    Guardians are born Guardians. It's a genetic trait, but the lines become mixed over the many centuries. Technically, Thomas is only part Guardian, but that's enough to give him the general abilities.

    The Witches are outcast because of the actions of Catherine Corren, Tyrale Corren's actions. And then the Witches ruling Coven refusing to hunt one of their own causes the Guardians to feel they've sanctioned it and therefore cut ties with the Witches. Hunters soon follow their lead.
     
  8. Fatmankev

    Fatmankev Chef, Writer, and Midnight Toker

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    Rora'Rora Tambah (no known aliases)
    Species: Homo Sapien
    Subspecies: Eruo
    Genre/World: Fantasy, Mundus

    Physical Description:
    Only standing at about 5'2", Rora'Rora is a small, furtive man with a striking resemblance to the ordinary street rat; suspicious, dark brown eyes dart excitedly from one spot to the next, never fixing and always roaming, while a protrusive nose-and-jaw combo grant his face an almost snout-like appearance. Fidgety hands grab at things and toss them right back after a brief examination, and shifty legs refuse to stay still, even for a minute. His slim, wiry physique is covered in coarse, grey-brown hairs, with a thick neck beard but little actual facial hair except for a few whiskers that might be called a mustache. Two buck-teeth stare overtly from a squeamish smile, so yellow they're almost orange. Covered in stinking filth and who-knows-what-else, the common man seems to ignore him altogether, whilst those in the upper echelons of the social hierarchy tend to avoid him like the plague.

    Weapons: Not one to enjoy the thrill of the fight, his only weapon is a simple, covert dagger that he uses for pick-pocketing. Although he is an eruo, he is not a member of the Hellhounds so he doesn't possess a Drowws.

    Powers: Although doing nothing toward furthering his combat ability, his power certainly helps him into and out of all sorts of trouble. His ability allows him to temporarily alter his form so as to allow him through impossibly small spaces that even a rat might have trouble squeezing through. His body essentially becomes a thick, viscous sort of liquid that's able to travel at approximately the speed of a like-sized serpent, allowing him to squeeze through most openings, holes, and even some larger cracks. The restriction is that he must have solid matter surrounding him at all times when in 'liquid' form or he'll assume his solid state again. For instance, standing in the street with open air around him, he wouldn't be able to use his power. Should he move to a hole in the wall, however, and try to enter it, then his power will begin in whichever extremity he tries to begin his entrance with, and he will remain in this 'liquid' form until the hole opens up into a greater space again (I hope this makes sense to anyone reading it).

    Attitude and History: Born as a serf on Lord Rorrick's estate, Rora'Rora was only seven with both of his parents fell ill and died. Through Rorrick's tyranny, Rora'Rora's plight went unheeded, and he was displaced from his home and left to starve. Wandering pointlessly across the plains, he was set upon by a small band of thieves who, fortunately, were not heartless thugs, and they took the boy in. Before long, they were teaching him their art, and he was doing well with it for a time.

    Then one day, he tried to cut the wrong purse and he was made. Running for his life and for all he's worth, Rora'Rora realized in horror that he'd turned himself right into a dead end. With no where left to run, he panicked, and tried to pull apart at a nearby rat hole with his bear hands. Before he even knew what was happening, he was inside of the rat hole, as impossible as it was. When the guards had finally run off and he was safe, he came out of his hiding spot; his mentors were gone, no where to be found, but so was everyone else. From this point, Rora'Rora continued his meager existence.

    Frightful yet curious, Rora'Rora is always on the lookout for the next shiny bauble that catches his eye. Confident in his ability to hide and escape, he tends to practice the more obvious route of thievery by simply walking in and taking something, then walking back out. Although he's well known as a thief throughout the capital, its ever-expanding and changing demographics leave him with a bit of leeway. Fast-talking when backed into a corner and none too clever, he often finds that escape is simply the best way to deal with any dilemma.

    Personal Growth: N/A, purely secondary character.

    Organization: N/A

    Thanks for letting me share.

    Seth, all sounds good, thanks for clearing it up and giving a better understanding of your world. I gotta ask, why haven't you rewritten Corruption yet? If you wrote it when you were 13, you could undoubtedly craft a far better story at this age. If all the ideas are already there, all you'd have to do is tweak them with your acquired wisdom and you'll have a book ready for the publishers. I feel like that really might be the best option for you to pursue that will give you the proper inspiration and motivation (as well as the extra time you'd need) to get your shit rolling out.

    I'm serious, man. I think it might be the easiest way to get there. Go ahead and go for it, man.
     
  9. DM Cross

    DM Cross You want to see a magic trick? Staff Member

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    Mostly lack of free time. I do have a full-time military career [thus including other responsibilities] and a full family with my Wife and Son and another on the way...

    Most of the work done on Crossology has been during down time at work. That's where most of my free-time-for-writing comes from. Not having a lot of work at work sometimes.
     
  10. Fatmankev

    Fatmankev Chef, Writer, and Midnight Toker

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    Cadacus Ariolus a.k.a The Seer
    Species: Homo Sapien
    Subspecies: Eruo
    Genre/World: Fantasy, Mundus

    Physical Description:
    Older than most Hellhounds, Cadacus only stands at about 5'3" in his advanced years, a painful stoop to his posture keeping him from standing to his full height. His bald, wrinkled head is riddled with liver spots from his time before the Hellhounds, and only a few sparse strands of grey hair remain, clinging desperately to the wasted ruins of their home. His face is always solemn and serious, all humor having been extinguished long ago, and a bushy grey beard hangs in mats from his hollow face. His eyes, a most fearful sight to those unprepared, are milky white, as if blinded by something in an age past; in truth, although he's blind, it's a condition that he was born with as well as a condition of his power. His frail body is covered in loose skin and protruding bones, and although he eats regularly, it appears that he hasn't eaten in months. A simple, once-white robe adorns his figure, almost drowning his tiny frame amidst the folds of cloth. A lonely, hopeless desperation plagues his features, although few know him well enough to notice this forthright.

    Weapons: Although he's been in Cerberus' employ for thirteen years, Cadacus does not possess a Drowws. In fact, his chambers are completely devoid of anything that he could use as a weapon, and none are allowed near him whilst carrying one on their person.

    Powers: The Seer possesses the power of Prophecy, the ability to witness future events before they ever occur, although his power can only be accessed through dreams. Unable to dream normally, he either sleeps fitfully in calming darkness or stoically, with an intense rigidity, in the surreal, prophetic sub-reality of the future. The dreams are sometimes difficult to interpret as he has no control over what he dreams of beyond his current thoughts as he falls into slumber, and even then, they are not absolute; sometimes, the future has several possibilities, and his prophecies can become false. It's unknown as to whether or not individual actions can affect the greater scheme of Fate's hand, or if prophecy simply flows on its chosen course, directing itself where it's destined to despite the actions of others. Although flawed, even false prophecies can lend glimpses into what the future might hold, and so they can often be just as useful as the true prophecies. Additionally, his prophecies often involve other eruo, alerting the Hellhounds to their presence and allowing them to pursue the eruo more effectively.

    Attitude and History: Although originally from distant lands across the seas, Cadacus was taken from his home where his prophetic gifts granted him and exalted status by Cerberus' third (currently unnamed) entity, the other two being Cerberus and Bentley Overleigh. Determined to find answers and seeing Cadacus as his means to doing so, Cerberus steals him away to the (currently unnamed) primary nation, imprisoning him in Underworld in the disguise of luxury. Although at first compliant and good-willed as is in his nature, as Cadacus began to dream the things that Cerberus wanted to know, he realized that he could no longer play a part to his madness. Refusing to dream for Cerberus, or to speak of any dreams he might have, Cerberus sought out the talents of Sandretta Evans, recognizing the awesome and awful powers of the Box. Through his instruction, Sandretta was able to use the Box to force Cadacus to dream, and to dream what she wanted him to dream about. With its power, she forced him to tell Cerberus what he wanted to know, and use of the box toward the derivation of his talents became a daily nightmare for some time.

    After several weeks of this daily torture, Cerberus realized that the integrity of Cadacus' mind was being compromised due to the Box's terrible powers, and he ceased its use almost entirely. Cadacus, having already told Cerberus more than he needed to know, was left to his own private, wretched existence, suffering through delirious schizophrenia with no one but himself to keep him sane.

    Although once vastly wise and understanding, the otherworldly torture he's endured has taken his mind to the brink of insanity, and very little of what he says is intelligible. His ranting and raving keeps those away whom might seek out his services, and the stench of shit permeating his person keeps out the rest. He is hardly even a shadow of the man he once was.

    Personal Growth: His growth is at an end; only thing he can hope for is the sweet embrace of death after so many years of torment.

    Organization: Although he's technically a member of the Hellhounds, he cannot leave his quarters for any reason and he is not granted any of the liberties of the other members. Essentially, he's nothing but a prisoner.

    Thanks for letting me share.

    Sorry you've got so much on your hands, I know how time-consuming that can be (especially with the wife and kids, though you just gotta love 'em =] ). Still, with all the ideas already there, it's something you should definitely consider, man; it'll take less to get those ideas back down in a better format than to write a whole new story without any problems, ya know?
     

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