Death of the Sharpshooters

Andyoyo

TH.net Regular
Reaction score
22
A long time ago, there were evil men that would only live for power and money. They were swordsman in an expanding society that cared so much for their power that they decided to take over all rivaling lands. The men were known as Koth's, and all but one land was now controlled by them. The Koth's would kill a child in public to instill fear in the nation. The other lands fell quickly because they feared the Koth's threats and feared for their own lives, they were full of their own land's pride, and would do anything to protect their lives & appearance.

Now sixty thousand men from the lands had joined the Koth's; leaving only the last land, which was known as Aelin.

A few of the land's men knew what the land of Aelin was like. It was a land of rich forests, grass lands, high ridges with waterfalls, and lots of plants & animals. When the king of the Koth's heard of this he quickly dwelled on all of his potential and desire for such a land, & decided to bring all of the men and take over the land of Aelin, thus siezing the last part of the world for their own. The king then asked men from neighboring lands what the men of Aelin were like. The men of Aelin were different, the 'thought' Aelin's had been helpful to men that had entered their land without food, and were helpful to other nations. They were seen as weak and easy to kill. But the truth was that the ones helping them were the women of the group, and no Koth or man of other lands had ever seen a man of Aelin before.

There was a valley that marked the only entrance into Aelin, with a high ridge on both sides. The Aelin men took up positions along the ridge-line, with only dark-green hooded cloaks. The 200 Aelin's watched the 60000 men from the lands march in rank and file along the valley trail. There were so many of the Koth's that the ground of the entire stretch of the valley could not be seen. As the last few Koth's entered the border, the Koth's king came to a crossroads in the trail, he ordered 10000 men to take the trail to the left (that led to the waterfalls), and the 50000 & himself to take the trail on the right (that led to the grasslands). The Koth's prided themselves in their muscularity & strength; their morale was high in the face of direct combat, but something was different. Many of the men thought they heard footsteps on a nearby ridge, other Koths from the group heading to the waterfalls rumored that the king had abandoned them; the silence instilled fear in the Koths.

The night was approaching, and the Koths from the larger group with the King decided to make camp along the grasslands. The night was pitch-black, there had never been a night so dark in the other lands before. The Koths placed their tents and tore down trees for fires. They told stories about how weak the Aelin's are for not facing them directly and ate lots of meat until they were stuffed. During the night, the Aelin's calmly approached the grasslands from the forest, they made no sound as they approached the forest-line to the grasslands.

After several hours of night had passed the Aelin's still waited patiently in the forest, a few of the Koth left their tents and headed to the forest-line to 'allieviate' themselves. The Aelin's silently blindfolded the few Koth's eyes and tied their hands tightly together. Even though the Koth's had guards on duty, they did not notice. Two more hours had passed in the night, and the sunrise was on the ridge of the horizon. There had now been around 150 Koths that the Aelins had taken with them. The Aelins traveled with the captives a dozen miles through thick forests, until they reached the center of the very thick forests. They released the Koths a few hundred meters apart, and gave the Koth captives a sedative that made them pass-out for only a few minutes.

When the Koths awoke, they became very afraid, the forest and silence was unknown to them, and they had no leader to guide their every move; the forest was so thick that one couldn't see more than a few feet in front of him. At the Koth camp, the Koths noticed the couple hundred missing, and assumed they had been killed. Even though it was such a small portion of their group, the men from the other lands became afraid for themselves. Some ran off, many were too afraid to run off & started arguing. The King of the Koths did his best to re-assure them that if they followed him, they'd have all the power in the world when they win this war. Some listen and some despaired. The king ordered all who were fearful to be killed on site. Ten thousand of the Koths were killed for being fearful; the king decided they should aim to find more about the land & regroup with the Koth's that searched the waterfalls before moving on, so he sent 20 scouts to report back to him by the end of the day.

None of the scouts returned, the Aelins used the same method on the scouts, and even they became afraid & lost in the deep forests. The Koth camp became less & less angry & focused on their search for power, they became quiet and their hearts were scared, scared not for their group but for themselves & their lives. They didn't have many options, they couldn't just run through the forest and hope to catch the Aelins. So they decided to wait in their camp, ready to pounce when the Aelins showed themselves again.

Days passed, and the Koths were running out of meat for food. The Koths requested to their king that they return to their homeland for food and shelter, but the king was full of pride & would not consider it. Two more days passed where a few Aelin women noticed the Koths were starving to death. The Aelin women quickly rounded all of their finest poultry & venison that they had. The Koths were not thankful, they took the Aelin women prisoner, and only the strongest Koths were allowed food. The other Koths died quickly from starvation.

Now the Aelins had noticed their wives had been taken captive & a few of them had been raped & killed. They saw no option but to begin killing the Koths. They were hidden in the forest-line and they began to shoot their bows from a half mile away. The gigantic Koth army was struck with a volley of arrows, it took them 3 volleys until they realized where the well camoflauged sharpshooters were shooting from. 500 Koths had been fataly wounded before they even noticed. Even though the Aelins could have easily escaped at this point, they stayed in fury & anger for the treatment of their wives. The remains of the Koths army (20000) charged the distant 200 Aelins in full force. The Aelins could easily score lethal shots even though they were a half mile away. 25 volleys later, 4000 Koths had been killed and they were now a quarter mile away from the Aelins. The Aelins could now shoot faster & more accurately. They were able to score 35 more volleys of arrows and kill 6000 more koths by the time they were 100 Meters away. The Aelins still chose not to run farther in the forest. The Koth king led the army the final 100 meters that seperated them. The Aelins shot 3 more volleys, and were now meters away from the Koths. The Aelins had no swords, told their comrades that they were dying for their wives, and shot their last volley point blank into the front line of the Koths, amoung them the king of the Koths.

The war between the Koths and the Aelins was over. But with the Kings death, they wondered the reason. They did not mourn his death, they raped the Aelin women, and eventually starved to death.

 

thewrongvine

The Evolved Panda Commandant
Reaction score
506
o_O. Interesting story. Well-written gramatically and in... any other way you can think of... and has its originalities in some parts. The only thing I'd suggest doing is to:

a.) this goes kind of with b.) in a way, your story repeats some parts and it's too much of the same thing like in the end, when they fire [#] volley, killing [#] of enemies. Then they fire [#] volley killing [#] more enemies. And so on. You could make it more desciptive with words instead of numbers.

c.) i want MORE! you could make a longer story about the war between those lands and have a "THE CHRONICLES OF [whatever that world is called]!" or something.

:D Nice story.
 

Varine

And as the moon rises, we shall prepare for war
Reaction score
803
So I take it this will not be at all like Death of a Salesman?
 

Fatmankev

Chef, Writer, and Midnight Toker
Reaction score
240
I couldn't read it because Dragonite isn't a cool enough poke'mon. Let's see a real poke'mon, and I'll finish reading it.
 

Andyoyo

TH.net Regular
Reaction score
22
I couldn't read it because Dragonite isn't a cool enough poke'mon. Let's see a real poke'mon, and I'll finish reading it.

How dare you insult Dragonite! He is second on my list of fav pokemon next to Kadabra
Let's see you take a Dragonite's hyperbeam to the face k?

Edit: TY thewrongvine, I'll definetly do that.
@Fatmankev Kadabra is amazing, did you watch the anime? The Sabrina vs Ash one, where she basically destroys life w/ Kadabra? I really don't see how you should be dissing mine, your avatar is a stack of hay. :)
 

Fatmankev

Chef, Writer, and Midnight Toker
Reaction score
240
Shit, in the turn it takes to charge that shit up I'll just step into the next room.

Kadabra ain't bad, but there are plenty of way cooler poke'mon out there. Nine tails is kinda cool... same with Haunter.
Kenghiskhan is cool, too. Then Scyther, Gyrados and Kabutops... sorry, I just went through a big list of poke'mon, so I just had to point out some of the better ones.

I suppose that this time would have been better spent reading your story. And to that, I can only say, "No, this was a much better use of my time."

Let's see a real poke'mon, bro.
 

DM Cross

You want to see a magic trick?
Reaction score
566
Gyarados was cool for the show, but sucked like Hell in the games, which is sad. I tend to use it for my water type until I find something else to replace it with.

Dragonite is definitely not lame, buddy. Dragons > all. I want a Dragon team in any Pokemon game I ever play...
 
Reaction score
456
Gyarados was cool for the show, but sucked like Hell in the games, which is sad. I tend to use it for my water type until I find something else to replace it with.

Dragonite is definitely not lame, buddy. Dragons > all. I want a Dragon team in any Pokemon game I ever play...
Pokemons wtf x)? My rock pokemons would always kick your dragons' asses..

Too bad I am unable to read very long texts in English. It takes me very very long time, because I have to look so many words from dictionary.
 

Fatmankev

Chef, Writer, and Midnight Toker
Reaction score
240
I agree, dragons do rock, but only if they don't look like flying homo-douchebags. Dragonite is about the lamest dragon there could ever be, so I can't possibly condone someone using him as their avatar. He should either get a new dragon, or get a new poke'mon.
 

Andyoyo

TH.net Regular
Reaction score
22
I agree, dragons do rock, but only if they don't look like flying homo-douchebags. Dragonite is about the lamest dragon there could ever be, so I can't possibly condone someone using him as their avatar. He should either get a new dragon, or get a new poke'mon.

First off, there's only like 3 dragon pokemon in the original Red & Blue vers. Clearly a pile of hay makes for a better avatar than Dragonite. I lol'd when I saw this comment :)

Anyone want to read my story or just talk pokemon lol

EDIT: @fatmankev actually TH removed the dragonite avatar, making dragonite even more unique :D I've lol'd at all ur posts your sense of humor makes me smile
 

Seb!

You can change this now in User CP.
Reaction score
144
Nice story man. Little bit too much like a video game for me, with the casualty numbers.. But that's really just opinion.

Anyway.. 3 words:

Bulb

A

Saur.
 
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