first attempt at a song

[Krofttt]

my fingers are shaking
mind is racing
time is going crazy.
suffering, sitting, and rotting.
my brain is throbbing
my eyes are dialated.
cant move or look a certain way without getting frustrated
Or hated
i lay down in the shower and let my blood get saturated
my spirit is in a crisis every thought chops and dices
i pickup the slices and toss them in the wind hopeing an praying
i will make a friend
and it will all end


tell me what you guys think

 

[Halahan]

Good. Sounds close to the rhythem and beat to "lose yourself." By Eminem. like a part is, "like a snail i've got, to formulate a plot, or end in jail, shot, success is my only option, failures not, mam I love yea but this trail has got, to go, I can not grow old, in Salem's lot, so here I go its my shot, feet fail me not, this maybe the only opportunity that I got! YOU BETTER loser yourself in the..."
And that tune, (though that is a faster part of the song, just my favorite )
Kinda've relates to yours. Still good... I'm more of a story writer...

 

[Hero]

my fingers are shaking
mind is racing
time is going crazy.
suffering, sitting, and rotting.
my brain is throbbing
my eyes are dialated.
cant move or look a certain way without getting frustrated
Or hated
i lay down in the shower and let my blood get saturated
my spirit is in a crisis every thought chops and dices
i pickup the slices and toss them in the wind hoping an praying
i will make a friend
and it will all end

Beautiful....now

End It!


lol

 

[Krofttt]

yeah i listend to that song alot. lose yourself...

what about this one? is this one diffrent...i made this too

zig-zags through the lines of strings. never i know what hellish song my mind will bring. flooded with anxiety. the high pitch brings me too a freeness. I the only eye witness. Mend this. Disgusting trend it is. Its cristening how I live. Frustration and Intimidation lay close to me in this relation. Fear and dispare has been my Education in this affair.