Gladiator - A short story

Halo_king116

Working As Intended
I wrote this story about a year ago, for a class assignment. The assignment was to create a Legend of some sort. Hopefully, I have successfully done that.

Comments & Criticism please! :)

Halo_king116 said:
Gladiator
The Legend of Maticus

Sweat trickled down the face of the strong, lean man, his short black hair soaked. He was tired, exhausted. He walked around his opponent, circling, always circling. He tried his best to ignore the stench of fresh blood, but that was one feat he could not perform. He was almost out of tricks, and his opponent was a better swordsman. All around him the crowd cheered, he was Maticus.

It all started out two years before when the king's men came to throw the men of a small village out of their homes. When they refused, they were taken as slaves. The slaves were then sent to the coliseum as one of the groups of slaves to fight for entertainment. Whoever could beat the current champion of the arena would be released from captivity. The men that were slaves died in the first few fights, though a few lives. One by one now the men died, until Maticus was the last man standing to fight the champion. Even though they had out-numbered the champion, very few of the men knew how to fight. Maticus was strong, real strong. Despite the fact he has no training, he was one of the best swordsman around. He was a hero, and soon won the favor of the crowd. Even though he was strong, his strength was just a tool for his mind to use. He was a tactical genius, and was respected for it.

The crowd continued to roar as the men continued to circle. Both were tired, and they used this time to catch their breathe. Though this was not all that Maticus was doing. No, he was also looking for a weakness, something to give him an advantage. So far he saw none.

As Maticus continued to think his opponent struck, and Maticus blocked with his sword. The power of the swing almost made him fall back on himself, but his muscles screamed and his arm held. Maticus pulled his sword away and swung over and up, but his sword was blocked. Continuing on the attack, he swung his sword in a crescent motion, aiming for his opponent's side. Blocked again, both times. But still, he continued on the offense. You could never win with defense.

Swinging his sword up, Maticus then brought it down on his opponents head. At the last second, the champion brought his sword up and parried the blow. He then begun a series of blows on Maticus, all of which the normal man could not defend against. Maticus was never a normal man. As the champion continued to attack, and Maticus continued to defend, the crowd's excitement grew and grew. Soon you could here nothing but the screams of the on looking audience. And among all the screams and cheers, you could hear men and women alike cheering on Maticus. The battle drew on, until it was apparent Maticus would lose if he did not do something quickly.

Reaching deep into his brain, Maticus did his best to find a weakness. Thinking hard whilst he still did his best at defending the oncoming attacks, Maticus thought back to when the champion missed on one of his swings. When he did, it took him a while to recover. Though, Maticus did not suspect that to happen and did not take advantage of it. Now that he thought about it, he decided to test his theory out.

At the next swing, one that that came left and cut up, Maticus stepped to the right, dodging the swing all together. As Maticus thought, the champion stumbled. Taking his chance, Maticus lunged forward with his sword, aiming for the heart. He wasn't quick enough, and thus his attack failed. Pulling his sword back, Maticus swung his sword downwards, though at the last moment cut to the right and aimed for the sides. Parried. Maticus suspected this, and so he slowly let his opponent gain control of the offense again. Blocking a few swings, Maticus waited for his moment. When the champion tried a long swing horizontally, Maticus ducked and braced himself, at the same time lifting his sword into the "lunge" position. As the Champion's sword swung above Maticus's head, Maticus took his chance and again lunged for the heart, this time using what little will power he had left,

The crowd hushed. There was a complete silence as the audience looked with shock and awe at the sight before them. What they saw was nothing short of a miracle. Maticus stood up, dislodging his sword from the body of the former champion. Lifting the sword above his head, Maticus screamed with all he was worth, and the audience joined in the roar of victory.

The champion was dead, Maticus was free, history was written. Maticus was the first slave to ever defeat an arena champion, and thus winning his freedom. For the next one thousand years, the children, and the children's children, will be told of how one man did what one other could. This man, was Maticus the Gladiator.
 

juty

Zoom out problems look smaller
COOL I LOVE IT :D I love how u build up the suspense in the story that is how books are written
REP+
 

Demonwrath

Happy[ExtremelyOverCommercializ ed]HolidaysEveryon
Well written, a few grammar and spelling mistakes that I noticed, but good job :D
 

Halo_king116

Working As Intended
Grammar and spelling is something I suppose I should revise at some point, but until then I greatly appreciate both of your comments and thank you for posting. :) A guy like me needs some positive feedback every now and then.

Hopefully I will post some of my other works I did for school at some point, once I find some the files.

Anyways, have a nice day! :)
 

thewrongvine

The Evolved Panda Commandant
Staff member
me likes gladiators
me likes this story
me likes!
pretty good, since it was just an assignment, it more like a real story. 4.7/5 i would rate. There are some grammar errors but overall nice. very suspenceful and had a good ending.
:D
 
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