Zakyath
Member
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Contains harsh language. Enjoy.
Lucky Strike between my thumb and index finger. Black hair over my face. As well dressed as I can be. My gaze upon you. I want you here. But where are you headed? Not to me, that’s for sure. Into the arms of his; panic hits me like a bucket of ice. Try to not lose it. C’mon, just hold out. I broke my cigarette while making a fist. Damn. The girl beside me laughs, tells me I’m stupid and strokes my cheek. Where’s a damn ashtray when you need one? I dislike the thought of put of cigarette on the floor indoors but that’s what I do anyway. There’s tons of things I tell myself not to do. But I really must love lying to myself. There’s no other reason why I should do it. Pocket flask with absinth to my mouth. Gaze still on her. Heh, I must look like I’m about to kill her. Have to say I’m quite fond of the idea; I’ve been killing myself for loving her. If I loved myself I’d be killing her. C’mon bitch. Suck my glock. Thoughts as these make me wonder if they really are right. Would I admit it to anyone? Nope. No way.
Time to leave, return home. I stumple in a drunken haze towards the buss. My so called mates a few meters behind me saying dumb things, you know that kind of talk you do after a bottle of vodka. They laugh. Oh, I hate this. I feel so stupid. I should be with them having a good time. But how could I? My loved – she’s not far away. Right there she is, in the corner of my eye. A slight shiver of discomfort crawling up my spin. I cough as my hand moves towards my pocket. Empty. Just my luck I get. I ask my company for smokes, and have one delivered to me right away. I need to stop. Tomorrow. Tomorrow is a good day to stop smoking. I know that there I won’t tomorrow. There’s been to many tomorrows. But like I said; I just love lying to myself. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside… I sigh.
We’re obviously waiting for the same bus. I discretely take a few steps closer to her and asks if she enjoyed the party. She tells me it was awesome and hopes Matt will host another one soon. I agree. I ask if she’s been cubed. She tells me she hasn’t. I’m not proud of it, but I’ve read the game, yes. And I’m positive most from it doesn’t work. She looks like she’s having a good time, so I won’t complain. I finish the cube and she’s amazed how accurate it was. She puts two cigarettes in her mouth and lights them both. I figure one’s mine. She reaches it to me.
“I didn’t say I smoke.”
“I know you’d do anything for me.”
“Correct.”
I take the cigarette and inhale deeply. Did she know or was she just kidding around? Who cares.
“Of course. Besides, you’ve been literally glued to your cigarettes this evening.”
She was right. I agreed. She asked if something had been troubling me. I slurred something. I got a “hm?” in respond. She gave me that look. I don’t know how to explain it. You only know it if you’ve seen it. It magically seemed to remove a weight from my chest. I told her there was nothing to worry about.
She got off at the same stop as I. She told me this weren’t her station.
“I guess we’re off to your place then.”
I bent forward and kissed her. Her hands on my shoulders. Life is beautiful.
Woke up alone. Where she had slept she had left a note with her phone number. I dialed her number.
“My boyfriend’s going to kill me.”
“Not if you kill him first.”
“We’ll see what happens. Stay home tonight.”
She hung up on me.
A heavy knocking on my door the same evening. Not a lady’s knocking, that’s for sure. Though, I don’t know if I could call her a lady. More likely a whore. But that’s the way I liked it. I opened the door. Guess her boyfriend decided to take a visit. He got down on his knees and started crying. Asked me please not to take away her from him. I told him whores do what whores want. Suddenly grief turned to pure anger. Must have been something I said. His fist in my face. Just the way I don’t like it. I pulled my gun, forced it into his mouth. Made him beg for mercy. I told him I was just kidding around and threw my gun into my apartment. He didn’t share my sense of humour. He hit me again. I turned around and walked into the apartment. He walked after me, slammed the door, and yelled at me. He wanted to know where I thought I was going. I poured up rum in a glass. When he approached to me, I turned around and knocked him silly with the bottle. In a pool of his own blood now. That’s where he belonged. He was still conscious. I have to practice my swing. I took my glass.
“Cheers!”
I finished my glass, figured today was a good day for him to die, got my gun and shot him. Went for the shower. It was getting late and I’d better get going, since I wasn’t expecting more visitors.
Out of absinth. Lit another cigarette. Watching the ladies on the dance floor. Love at first sight when I saw that smoking hot blonde in the red dress. Thought “what the heck”, stood up and started walking towards her. Life’s too short to think. Love is always over in the morning. Time to think is time to lose. Tomorrow’s just another game. Who really cares what happens.
Time to leave, return home. I stumple in a drunken haze towards the buss. My so called mates a few meters behind me saying dumb things, you know that kind of talk you do after a bottle of vodka. They laugh. Oh, I hate this. I feel so stupid. I should be with them having a good time. But how could I? My loved – she’s not far away. Right there she is, in the corner of my eye. A slight shiver of discomfort crawling up my spin. I cough as my hand moves towards my pocket. Empty. Just my luck I get. I ask my company for smokes, and have one delivered to me right away. I need to stop. Tomorrow. Tomorrow is a good day to stop smoking. I know that there I won’t tomorrow. There’s been to many tomorrows. But like I said; I just love lying to myself. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside… I sigh.
We’re obviously waiting for the same bus. I discretely take a few steps closer to her and asks if she enjoyed the party. She tells me it was awesome and hopes Matt will host another one soon. I agree. I ask if she’s been cubed. She tells me she hasn’t. I’m not proud of it, but I’ve read the game, yes. And I’m positive most from it doesn’t work. She looks like she’s having a good time, so I won’t complain. I finish the cube and she’s amazed how accurate it was. She puts two cigarettes in her mouth and lights them both. I figure one’s mine. She reaches it to me.
“I didn’t say I smoke.”
“I know you’d do anything for me.”
“Correct.”
I take the cigarette and inhale deeply. Did she know or was she just kidding around? Who cares.
“Of course. Besides, you’ve been literally glued to your cigarettes this evening.”
She was right. I agreed. She asked if something had been troubling me. I slurred something. I got a “hm?” in respond. She gave me that look. I don’t know how to explain it. You only know it if you’ve seen it. It magically seemed to remove a weight from my chest. I told her there was nothing to worry about.
She got off at the same stop as I. She told me this weren’t her station.
“I guess we’re off to your place then.”
I bent forward and kissed her. Her hands on my shoulders. Life is beautiful.
Woke up alone. Where she had slept she had left a note with her phone number. I dialed her number.
“My boyfriend’s going to kill me.”
“Not if you kill him first.”
“We’ll see what happens. Stay home tonight.”
She hung up on me.
A heavy knocking on my door the same evening. Not a lady’s knocking, that’s for sure. Though, I don’t know if I could call her a lady. More likely a whore. But that’s the way I liked it. I opened the door. Guess her boyfriend decided to take a visit. He got down on his knees and started crying. Asked me please not to take away her from him. I told him whores do what whores want. Suddenly grief turned to pure anger. Must have been something I said. His fist in my face. Just the way I don’t like it. I pulled my gun, forced it into his mouth. Made him beg for mercy. I told him I was just kidding around and threw my gun into my apartment. He didn’t share my sense of humour. He hit me again. I turned around and walked into the apartment. He walked after me, slammed the door, and yelled at me. He wanted to know where I thought I was going. I poured up rum in a glass. When he approached to me, I turned around and knocked him silly with the bottle. In a pool of his own blood now. That’s where he belonged. He was still conscious. I have to practice my swing. I took my glass.
“Cheers!”
I finished my glass, figured today was a good day for him to die, got my gun and shot him. Went for the shower. It was getting late and I’d better get going, since I wasn’t expecting more visitors.
Out of absinth. Lit another cigarette. Watching the ladies on the dance floor. Love at first sight when I saw that smoking hot blonde in the red dress. Thought “what the heck”, stood up and started walking towards her. Life’s too short to think. Love is always over in the morning. Time to think is time to lose. Tomorrow’s just another game. Who really cares what happens.
