Fatmankev
Chef, Writer, and Midnight Toker
- Reaction score
- 240
Hellhounds
This is a fantasy, the beginning of a novel I've been thinking about for a while now but haven't felt compelled to begin. The writing is alright, and the story may be decent too, but in general, I'd just love some feedback to know what everyone thinks. Rep is unimportant to me; I just want to know what others think of my work. Thanks again to everyone who reads it, I really do appreciate it. Chapter one and two are both complete, and I think it's actually turning out quite nicely, so far.
Story Terms:
Drows - a spirit blade crafted by the Hellhound weaponsmith, Hephasto, that extracts the strengths of a slain victim and imbibes the blade's carrier with those strengths. Only Hellhounds use a Drows.
The Guard - basically, the police of the State(unknown name). They are employed by the Magister and are, for the most part, lacking any sort of magic, albeit weapons.
Hellhounds - an elite organization founded by the Magister. They are, simply put, bounty hunters that work alongside the Magister, dealing with those who cause disorder where the Guard is less influential, or when they are too powerful to be dealt with without the use of magic.
Hunts - the quests that a Hellhound Pack is assigned to in order to receive a bounty.
The Judge - the bringer of justice, employed by the Magister. He is extremely powerful and only called upon in dire circumstances when the Hellhounds are not enough.
The Magister - a powerful sorcerer that rules over the State(unknown name), he commands a plethora of innate magical abilities that are on a level much higher than most. Basically, the warrior-king of the State(unknown name).
Moon-Cycle - designated by the cycle of the world's primary moon, this is a period of time equivalent to roughly twenty-eight suns.
Pack - term referring to the groups of three that Hellhounds are assigned to when dealing with Hunts. Each pack has one leader and two followers.
The Prison - an enormous structure that houses the majority of the State's(unknown name) greatest offenders, as well as providing sleeping quarters for members of the Guard nearby. Many saftey precautions have been placed by the Magister himself to ensure that no one escapes.
Scanners - equivalent to forensics specialists or the FBI in our world, they use magic instead of science to reveal what could have happened at a crime scene.
The Song - a powerful type of magic possessed by Siren, granting her the ability to alter how others perceive things. As she grows more powerful, so will the abilities that the Song can perform.
Sun(s) - designated by the cycle of the world's Sun, a period of time equivalent to roughly 25 turns(hours).
Underworld - the headquarters for the Hellhounds, this is where they sleep, receive Hunts, forge Drows, etc. This is where it all goes down.
This is a fantasy, the beginning of a novel I've been thinking about for a while now but haven't felt compelled to begin. The writing is alright, and the story may be decent too, but in general, I'd just love some feedback to know what everyone thinks. Rep is unimportant to me; I just want to know what others think of my work. Thanks again to everyone who reads it, I really do appreciate it. Chapter one and two are both complete, and I think it's actually turning out quite nicely, so far.
Story Terms:
Drows - a spirit blade crafted by the Hellhound weaponsmith, Hephasto, that extracts the strengths of a slain victim and imbibes the blade's carrier with those strengths. Only Hellhounds use a Drows.
The Guard - basically, the police of the State(unknown name). They are employed by the Magister and are, for the most part, lacking any sort of magic, albeit weapons.
Hellhounds - an elite organization founded by the Magister. They are, simply put, bounty hunters that work alongside the Magister, dealing with those who cause disorder where the Guard is less influential, or when they are too powerful to be dealt with without the use of magic.
Hunts - the quests that a Hellhound Pack is assigned to in order to receive a bounty.
The Judge - the bringer of justice, employed by the Magister. He is extremely powerful and only called upon in dire circumstances when the Hellhounds are not enough.
The Magister - a powerful sorcerer that rules over the State(unknown name), he commands a plethora of innate magical abilities that are on a level much higher than most. Basically, the warrior-king of the State(unknown name).
Moon-Cycle - designated by the cycle of the world's primary moon, this is a period of time equivalent to roughly twenty-eight suns.
Pack - term referring to the groups of three that Hellhounds are assigned to when dealing with Hunts. Each pack has one leader and two followers.
The Prison - an enormous structure that houses the majority of the State's(unknown name) greatest offenders, as well as providing sleeping quarters for members of the Guard nearby. Many saftey precautions have been placed by the Magister himself to ensure that no one escapes.
Scanners - equivalent to forensics specialists or the FBI in our world, they use magic instead of science to reveal what could have happened at a crime scene.
The Song - a powerful type of magic possessed by Siren, granting her the ability to alter how others perceive things. As she grows more powerful, so will the abilities that the Song can perform.
Sun(s) - designated by the cycle of the world's Sun, a period of time equivalent to roughly 25 turns(hours).
Underworld - the headquarters for the Hellhounds, this is where they sleep, receive Hunts, forge Drows, etc. This is where it all goes down.
I'll make sure to keep at it then, I suppose I'll finish the chapter at school tomorrow, since I sure as hell don't wanna learn pre-calculus.
