Hitchhickers Guide to Warcraft

Siefer

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Pineapple said:
If the critter fails to explode after clicking then it must be a mechanical critter. This meens the enemies are spying on you. The best solution is to kill it or read the section stratigys you haven't thought of yet.

11) Strategies You Haven't Thought of Yet
(In Section 11)

007 Sheep

When being spied on by a mechanical sheep (or squirrel, or demonic overlord, usually it is a sheep, though) you should first of all never ever give any sign that you know it is there. That way you have the element of surprise. Now, you must either lead this sheep to one of your mini-expansion bases, or to an enemy base to throw the player spying on you off-track. At this point, you should keep clicking on the sheep to see if it explodes, just to make sure you lead the right sheep on. After, you must distract the enemy somehow, most likely by typing something noticeable. If you are playing a LAN game, then you should yell something noticeable (like "FIRE!"). While he is distracted, you must quickly kill the sheep. He will then look for his sheep around the map when he looks back at the screen. This will be your chance to launch your huge force at the distracted fool, you will have a very smalll window of time, so it must be quickly.
Thus, you have used your enemy's sheep against it! This strategy is 200% effective!
Warning: If you just kill the sheep the second you know it is mechanical, then you will have ruined your chance to eliminate your opponent! !!! Don't do it!!! It may sound simpler, but it is also faster and has less risk! Wait a second....
 

Siefer

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When am I going to see a website based off of this? Anyways, this was mostly a bump since I don't have anything to contribute at the moment. Too hot.
 

Lord_Phoenix

Dogs are fuzzy
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I'm trying to get my brother to start on it, but won't/can't do much with it (he's an intern, so he dosen't have much time for doing stuff for me) If I DO get him to do something, I'll post the link.
 

Siefer

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Siefer said:
When in a losing situation in a Team Game
When in a team match, studies have proved that 97.596% of the time, you will be the one who's base is farthest away from your teammates and closest to the enemies'.
I. When the enemy rushes you while your guard is down, many of the pros suggest these 3 simple but effective steps:
-Bend Over with your head between your knees
-Kiss your ass goodbye
-Sabotage your connection so you have an excuse as to why you left, or you can just leave if you don't care what other people think of you
II. The best thing to do when encountering a force too large for you to deal with is to bring it to your allies' base and let them deal with it. If they were really your teammate, they wouldn't mind.
III. When in an attack with your allies, and you have the slightest inclination that your combined forces will fail, then you should town portal all your troops to home. Remember the old Undead saying, "It is better to live alone as a coward, then to die with your friends fighting for what you believe in."
If your allies get angry at you, or don't realize why you left, then refer to (1.6-13.)

1.6) Warcraft Guide for Aliens
13. When all else fails in a multiplayer game, you can always leave. Or you can disconnect your internet, which is like leaving, but there is a chance others will think it wasn't your fault.
 

Lord_Phoenix

Dogs are fuzzy
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Sorry. Just a bump. Its been so long with this band stuff. I don't have time to update anything.

EDIT

I have an Idea, I'll see if I can sumit it to Blizzard, and then see if it gets on spotlight!
 

XXXconanXXX

Cocktails anyone?
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Lord_Phoenix said:
Sorry. Just a bump. Its been so long with this band stuff. I don't have time to update anything.

I can do it for you if you'd like, but it's your guide and your decision. =]
 

Lord_Phoenix

Dogs are fuzzy
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I accept! Please use the word document for the front page, and then add the new stuff appropriatly.

Thanks!
 

Lord_Phoenix

Dogs are fuzzy
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hoopedy hoopedy bumpidy bump! Mostly a bump. Give me a bit, and I'll think of somethin to write up.

4a) Orc units

Peons- Peons are little green men who are the supposedly the equivilent of a human worker. This previous statement is completly false. As far as we know, there are no female orcs, therefore in their spare time, the do not have sex. Another big differance is that they're green, and can turn red when the drink bad water, instead of just getting sick and being unable to work. They also don't mind walking back and forth endlessly for the embetterment of a team. The interesting thing is that if you have a humongous sword/claw/cythe/hammer/branch/object capable of inflicting heavy damage, thay'll just sit there, and let you beat on them until either 1) the person doing the hitting gets bored or 2) the peons die. Remember, the more peons you have, the faster you gather recources, and the bigger you can build your army.
 

Lord_Phoenix

Dogs are fuzzy
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Ba-dump!

And a little story I'd like to call:

The Lonley Orc with Anger Management Issues, the Scantily Clad Night Elves, and the Lack of Women in Warcraft.

Introduction

Before you read this story, there are a few things you must know about orcs.

1) They get red when they get angry.
2) When your a male dominated species, you get very lonley.
3) Night Elves are annoying

Story

As you all know, Thrall sent Grom and the others to construct a base in Ashenvale (not sure its right) and get lumber and stuff. Grom then supposedly went mad, drank from a well that made him red, and made you do a bunch of other stuff. Cenarius came out, and you kicked his but because hes a tree hugger. This is untrue. This is one of the many times thoes idiots at Blizzard made a mistake from the real story of Warcraft.
The real truth is that Grom was lonley. Nothing could cheer him up, eving the budding rituals of his kind made him feel sad. He noticed these bears and scantily clad archers and dryads run around happily. Grom thought, "I wish I could be happy as thoes dryads and bears and scantily clad women!" He soon realized it was the women that made the bears happy! Grom then tried to talk to one of the dryads.
"Hello," said Grom
"AHHH A BIG GREEN THING!!! UGLY AHH!!! RUN FOR IT!!!" screamed the dryad hystarically. The dryad ran away.
Grom, seeying how she reacted, got angry. Not very angry, but slightly angry. He decided to call up his budding buddies and totally annihilate that poor stupid dryads base, cousions, army, friends, family, lawyers, pets, bears, druids, trees, buildings, and any nearby Night Elf units and buildings. That calmed his anger, and he was happy again, and spent a happy drunken night budding more orcs for his army.
Then, Cenarius heard about it. He said, "No one's gonna beat up MY bitch!" and took his base, cousions, army, friends, family, lawyers, pets, bears, druids, trees, buildings, and any nearby Night Elf units and buildings with him to destroy the orcs base, cousions, army, friends, family, lawyers, pets, bears, druids, trees, buildings, and any nearby Orc units and buildings. The orcs were really upset about this, and turned really really red. They totally destroyed Cenarius and his brood like they were a bunch of Night Elves (which they were). When they came to, they realized what they did.
"ummm..... yeah..." said one of the orcs
"yeah..... shit" said Grom, "We need to make something up. Thrall's gonna kill us."
So they did. They decided to make up a story that a giant emo elefaunt decided to cut himself near a well, and got the well contaminated. Grom, during his morning exercise, got thirsty, and drank from the well. He thought to himself ,"man, this is some good shit!" and sold it to all his orc brothers for a tidy prophit. Well, they all turned red, cause the emo blood corrupted all the clorophorm in the orc skin, and accidently killed a bunch of stuff. After that, Thrall (who was always gullible) said well, you gotta make amends. Beat up the emo elefaunt! And they did, but the rampaging elefunt killed Grom in the process. The end.
 
W

WC3_GOD

Guest
!!!

:nuts: ...now thats........a LOT of info most of it useless but some of its good..very
 

Siefer

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WC3_GOD said:
:nuts: ...now thats........a LOT of info most of it useless but some of its good..very
That's what the Hitchiker's Guide to Warcraft is, everything you ever wanted (or didn't want) to know about Warcraft. The all-inclusive guide with the TRUTH!
Slightly biased. Some misinformation here and there (or what seems like misinformation until you realize that everything the authors of this say are true no matter what). But overall, it's steadily heading towards perfection.

xxxconanxxx said:
Sorry guys I kinda forgot about this under the piles of work - I'll update it soon. :D
Update=good!
 

Lord_Phoenix

Dogs are fuzzy
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I updated the word document, but I can't update the front page no more, so just copy and paste whats in the word document into the front page.

Thanks
 

n[u]ll

You can change this now in User CP.
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ROFLMAO that is the worlds funniest movie ever. the books are good too (i read one for an essay in literature...) sadly the author died. =,(
 

XXXconanXXX

Cocktails anyone?
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Huge update.

Fixed many grammatical errors, added sections for new pieces of text people have posted. Also fixed up some of the spacing for sections to make them easier to read and search.

Enjoy, and keep it coming. :)
 
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