Hitchhickers Guide to Warcraft

Lord_Phoenix

Dogs are fuzzy
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Oh my goodness thank you XXXconanXXX! Now the love of the Guide may be spread through to the millions of users!
 

XXXconanXXX

Cocktails anyone?
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No problem. :) I'll keep updating it as more posts come in.

Still need Undead Story, Undead Heroes, Night Elves Heroes, and Undead section opening.
 

Siefer

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After the peon in orc units:

"It's not easy being green."
2) Grunts-Imagine a ton of these guys only smaller with armor and axes coming towards you. Note: Not all of them have a blog.
*If you are a warcraft novice, remember that grunts are pretty powerful for a starting unit, but are powerless against anything that hits them above the forehead. They are also easy to play pranks on, but don't like being poked.
 

Siefer

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7a) When in a losing situation in a Free-for-All game

One of the most effective strategies in a Free-for-All game is to lead the enemy's force to another enemy's base so that they fight each other.
"But I can't lead my precious army to an enemy base. I might need the Hulk's (see 4a.2) children to kill a sheep later!"
One powerful technique is to use just a single expendable unit. If you are Night Elf, use the hot big-breasted archers mentioned in an earlier strategy. If you are Human, than send the annoying, yet hot, Sorceress. If you are Undead or Orc, you may have more trouble, since they have no alluring females (unless you are playing aliens).

*Don't add this to the guide--->No idea what to do then. Someone have an idea? Wait, does the Horde have any female units in any race?
I want a Hitchiker's site! I'm learning JavaScript, maybe I will be able to do it eventually. I'd rather not, though.
 

XXXconanXXX

Cocktails anyone?
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Siefer said:
*Don't add this to the guide--->No idea what to do then. Someone have an idea? Wait, does the Horde have any female units in any race?
I want a Hitchiker's site! I'm learning JavaScript, maybe I will be able to do it eventually. I'd rather not, though.

The only females I can think of are Banshees.
 

Lord_Phoenix

Dogs are fuzzy
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Siefer said:
*Don't add this to the guide--->No idea what to do then. Someone have an idea? Wait, does the Horde have any female units in any race?
I want a Hitchiker's site! I'm learning JavaScript, maybe I will be able to do it eventually. I'd rather not, though.

I think I can get my brother into making a nice website for us, which I can host on my Dad's host. He can even put up a database and all that coolness. I just talked to him about it.
 

KillerChi

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1.7) Diseases of Warcraft

There are several diseases of Warcraft. All of them deadly, and able to affect thousands at a time. Here are the most common ones and their cure.

1. Grammeritis: Makes a person lose all ability to use proper grammar. It is also passed through communication programs. Often affects massive groups at a time. Often combined with Spelk.
Example: its i 1337ness skillzers that pwnz0rz j00
Duration: About as long as you’re on Warcraft, or any other internet communication device.
Cure: Get off communication device/ Warcraft, write an English paper.

2. Spelk: Makes a person lose ability to spell anything properly. Anything that IS spelled properly is probably a mistake. Affects massive groups at a time. Passed on through communication programs as well. Often combined with Grammeritis.
Example: Mi teh ultimgat hax vnoob
Duration: Forever, unless there's spell-checker.
Cure: Learn to spell. Practice spelling instead of playing Warcraft.

3. 1337n3zz: Makes a person think he is better than everyone else. Makes them take time to write in a ridiculous style. Often contracted when exposed to Grammeritis and Spelk too long. Only affects one person at a time, but occasionally there are group outbreaks.
Example: y0 /\/00B!!!11 /\/\Y 1337n3zz |-|4>\/\//\/!!!1111one!!!one11!!!
Duration: Usually lasts a short time, for the person is either booted, or dies from taking too much time for typing like that.
Cure: Try to limit to Spelk. You will soon figure out it takes too long to bother with this, so it will go away quickly, but is replaced with a more vicious form of Spelk.

4. Stupidity: A most dangerous disease that no one knows you cought until it is too late. When you contact it, you end up thinking that it’s everyone else that is the looser, and it's you whose smart. This disease is often combined with all diseases, and can be fatal if not treated immediately.
Example: in hosts: OMG, you t00k 3 seconds to dl, stupid noob!!
Person: what the...?
Person left the game!

In gamers: OMG!! game so imba! omg!
Guy: No, you just suck, and you run into the towers 12 times.
Gamer: no!! imba game! You all suck! I rock!
Gamer has left game
Guy: omg... n00b!
Duration: Until death. Usually there's no realization that your stupid until it's too late, and then you're dead, killed by people much smarter than you.
Cure: Realize that you’re an idiot. Go to school. Learn. Grow. Become less like an idiot. if that all fails[And it always fails. There is no known cure.], shoot yourself.

5. Real Life: Not really a disease, most people have it without knowing it, but a good gamer will recognize real life, and delay it fantastically with doing other pointless things (suck as playing Warcraft!)
Example: look outside your house. If none of it is recognizable, you are lacking Real Life.
Duration: It comes and goes, most people don't notice, but games will expose themselves for short times (such as for jobs or school) and then quickly reemerge themselves in their digital world.
Cure: Play more video games, and surf the internet for hours at a time.

6. Suckiness
Symptoms: Losing every game you have ever played, cannot beat the campaign without cheats, etc.
Example of symptoms in a map: When you play a melee map and you are partnered with someone with Suckiness, you travel to his base to buy something from his Arcane Vault. What? All he has are 5 peasants getting lumber? It's already 15 minutes into the game!! You type to him 'hey, get some gold and build a base, noob' He types back 'i like wood'
Cure: Read the eleventh commandment: THOU SHALT NOT SUCK





LOL add
this dieasese


7. Switch monia

Symptons: calling your gf Jania Proudmoore or a sorcessress etc.
On halloween you see some kid with a toy sword you yell "Hey you noob FOootmen are weak and eat too much"*you steal your li`l bro`s toy ninja stars and try to be a spellbreaker* and the kid runs crying.Or when you bowstead of apolgizing to your gf when attempting to cure.

Duration: 100x of how many hours you played in a row at a time.Or get you self infected with illnes #5

Cure: Get a live or play something tottaly differnt Halo 2!

Anyways really funny
 

Lord_Phoenix

Dogs are fuzzy
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Hey everyone! I'm sorry but I've been really busy. I can't really do much right now.. hoefully you'll find it in your hearts to forgive me...


...unless you don't have a heart...
 

Siefer

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3c)
Archmages are the standard old wizard you need in every fantasy-related videogame, movie, or story. They can be related to Gandalf. Normally that would be all a standard Guide like this would have to say, but the differences should be noted:
1) Archmages in Warcraft ride on their horses all the time. No, seriously, all the time. They can't be knocked off. Magic spell that backfired? Strange compulsion? Magic horse that doesn't like to be alone? This information has still eluded our best experts today.
2) They can teleport things. Normally, this would be neat, since Gandalf or Merlin can't do this, however there is a downside. Archmages must always use ALL of their energy to teleport everything around them to an ally. They can't use some of their energy to teleport an ally to them. Strange...
3) They can summon Water Elementals to fight for them. From nothing. Another spell that most people still can't figure out. This has lead to the common question of: "How the hell did you do that?!" To this day, no one asking an Archmage has recieved the answer.


------------------

Anyways, there's my obligatory contribution Pheonix. This is part congratulations to the contributions, part thanks to the rep I got for doing this which I haven't noticed until now, part wondering where you've been, and part bump. Well, I think that about sums it up!
 

Lord_Phoenix

Dogs are fuzzy
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Thank you so much! If I could + rep you right now, I would... In the mean time...

Deathknights- The bad evil poeple who get blamed for everything. Just as Archmages are boring Gandalf type look-alikes, Deathknights are evil boring archetype lookalikes. A few things that you should know about them...

1) They can kill THEIR OWN UNITS!!! This is funny when the kill off their frost dragons/ abombs/ destroyers.
2) Even though their on horses, they always need to run faster. We're not altogeather sure why this is, but we expect that Undead live off rabbits. Since rabbits are very agile creatures, the death knights learn how to move very quickly. Especially since they're trying to whack them with obnoxiously heavy swords.
3) Even though they carry obnoxiously heavy swords, they seam to be able to do any real physical damage with them. Most people would at least be able to get arrested, but Deathknights don't even matter, apparently. This is why they're all dressed in black.
4) Deathknights can dismount only when they are about to have a stupenous battle with a nearby cool looking enemy with leathery wings. No ones sure why, but we think it may have something to do with that theire pants are too heavy.
5) They can raise the dead... Apparently, nothinging can hurt dead things... maybe because they're already dead... but still, they shoulden't be utterly IMPERVIOUS to attack. Still, its a pretty nifty ability. Oddly enough, they can't raise their own dea, just other peoples dead, making it very limited.

Maybe I'll submit this to Blizzard and see what they think.
 
R

RyuHayabusa

Guest
It was catching on at first, but u kinda lost me at the noobish alien stuff :banghead: :nuts: :confused:
 
B

beedy

Guest
Hahaha

4. Stupidity: A most dangerous disease that no one knows you cought until it is too late. When you contact it, you end up thinking that it’s everyone else that is the looser, and it's you whose smart. This disease is often combined with all diseases, and can be fatal if not treated immediately.
Example: in hosts: OMG, you t00k 3 seconds to dl, stupid noob!!
Person: what the...?
Person left the game!

In gamers: OMG!! game so imba! omg!
Guy: No, you just suck, and you run into the towers 12 times.
Gamer: no!! imba game! You all suck! I rock!
Gamer has left game
Guy: omg... n00b!
Duration: Until death. Usually there's no realization that your stupid until it's too late, and then you're dead, killed by people much smarter than you.
Cure: Realize that you’re an idiot. Go to school. Learn. Grow. Become less like an idiot. if that all fails[And it always fails. There is no known cure.], shoot yourself.


Haha i find that really funny and some of the Diseases are very True.. I especially like this sentence:" Usually there's no realization that your stupid until it's too late, and then you're dead, killed by people much smarter than you." :D
 

Siefer

New Member
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Ya...I know. But no reply since a couple days after Christmas? This thread needs a...

BUMP!

Sorry, I'll contribute tomorrow, or whenever the next time I visit these forums will be.
 
B

Berntrom

Guest
Grr

srry cudent find any help or where to wright so i wright right here!
hove to make a teleport between 2 circle of powers?
 
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