General How should a parent discipline their children?

Genkora

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I remember one time my mom took all my toys, put them in a box, and hid them because I wouldn't clean my room; I didn't get them back for a few weeks, that was a hoop pushing time for me. I also had video games taken away on numerous occasions. Pretending I'm an expert on the subject, I'd say you need a myriad of types of discipline given the particular misbehavior.
 

Cornface

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Er, I meant it doesn't have to be with parents as in, the kid could have misbehaved somewhere else such as in a class, and the parents still have the right to discipline the kid, even though the kid didn't misbehave like towards the parents. What I'm saying is, we're only talking about a parent-child relation here (and not cuz you're more man than him lol).

~Hai-Bye-Vine~
What I was trying to ask here was what being have the right to hit another being? A parent, maybe, maybe, but still, there is tons of research on this and it is proven that beating your children doesn't actually help in the wrong run.
 

thewrongvine

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Well, no one said anything about beating your children up, a slap or a smack isn't beating up. For example, I have these friends and he has two younger brothers who are just... well you can see the parents have no authority (they listen to me more than the parents). They try to yell at them, the kids just don't even look at them, and continue what they're doing. A slap could probably get their attention.

I think it does help. No beating up obviously, but when they're not mature enough to think yet... a few slaps/smacks/spanks won't hurt.

~Hai-Bye-Vine~
 

ElderKingpin

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And that is the point, discipline is an act of righteous chastisement, it is not something done out of hate or anger, it is done out of love.

If you want to talk about BEATING a kid, that is different, this is chastisement, and grouping beatings and discipline into one large category does not serve it justice. If the kid gets angry over it, thats his fault. If you did something wrong, and you got caught, why are you getting mad at the parent?
 

FireCat

Oh Shi.. Don't wake the tiger!
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And after you SHOW THEM WHOS BOSS.Then you explain
Evry time your child do something wrong, you would always take action? Without saying anything?

It Just sounds terrible.. seriously. "Words speak louder then Actions!"
 

thewrongvine

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Evry time your child do something wrong, you would always take action? Without saying anything?

It Just sounds terrible.. seriously. "Words speak louder then Actions!"
Not if he doesn't listen...
...you don't seriously think kids are good people, ;)

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thewrongvine

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No, sure not. lol

Well, If "Take action" would not work either?
What about it?
You take action if words don't work. So if both of them don't work, then there's no argument after that, heh.
The kid is screwed. :)

~Hai-Bye-Vine~
 

Cornface

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And that is the point, discipline is an act of righteous chastisement, it is not something done out of hate or anger, it is done out of love.
Right, slap your kid to show him/her your love. Maybe that's how I should try to pick up some girl?
 

thewrongvine

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lol Cornface, I think you seem to be missing the point that this is a parent-child relationship, :p Unless parents aren't special to you, lol, they're just some other people.

Would you rather have the kid spoiled?

~Hai-Bye-Vine~
 

Cornface

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lol Cornface, I think you seem to be missing the point that this is a parent-child relationship, :p Unless parents aren't special to you, lol, they're just some other people.

Would you rather have the kid spoiled?

~Hai-Bye-Vine~
So the choice is between,
Don't beat the kid and it gets spoiled or
Slap the shit out of your kid and he grows up to be a descent member of the society.

I haven't been beaten and I am neither spoiled or unruly. Few kids in Sweden are getting beaten and they ain't spoiled either.
 

thewrongvine

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Okay this isn't gonna work if you exaggerate everything.
What's wrong with decency? Why does everything in today's world have to be to the extreme? You're either the best or the worst? You need a balance. I haven't been beaten either. No one ever said beaten. If a slap or a spank is beating them up, then no words can describe a fight.

Well then, you're a good kid then, lol. Unfortunately, a lot of kids aren't.

~Hai-Bye-Vine~
 

Cornface

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What I am trying to say is that you can raise a perfectly normal kid without beating them, and if you do need to smack your children, you are doing something horribly wrong in the way you are disciplining your child.
 

thewrongvine

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Okay, once again, this isn't gonna work lulz. Why is it beating them? Do you truly think a smack is beating a child up? And you're correct, you can raise a child up perfectly without ever touching them. But you can also raise them up perfectly with a few smacks there. And Cornface, have you truly never seen bad kids? Even if the parent tries their best, some kids just don't listen.
I'm not saying all kids should get the more physical discipline, but just that some need it. Besides, it makes the kid tough.

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thewrongvine

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That's a myth. In fact, physical punishment has been found to have the opposite effect.
Then why is I tough? :D
Haven't you seen Rocky 5? Kid he picked up, was beat up by his dead, ended up beating his dad up and becoming a boxer.
That's like saying working out makes you weaker.
Okay, this debate is pointless, there's no right or wrong answer because it depends on the kid, heh.

~Hai-Bye-Vine~
 

uberfoop

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Haven't you seen Rocky 5? Kid he picked up, was beat up by his dead, ended up beating his dad up and becoming a boxer.
There's really two answers to this. One, it's a film, and thus exists outside the bounds of reality such that you can't treat it as a scientific study. Two, the situation you described hardly supports beating people; society would probably not be a better place if all father-son relationships were that of beating and then everyone become boxers.

That's like saying working out makes you weaker.
I would avoid the "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" point of view except in specific situations where you can demonstrate why it makes sense. I mean, tendonitis certainly doesn't make you stronger. I mean, even working out CAN make you weaker; go on a ten-mile hilly run without quite strong enough calf muscles and WHAMMO! Tendon fail! And because of how tendons work, you won't even have the benefit of stronger tendons in the long run. The net effect is going to be naught but several weeks of sucky achilles function.

In the case of people being beaten, the counter-argument is that you're just teaching them to accept being beaten, which is hardly something that will make them tougher.

Whether that's generally the case, I dunno, but it makes as much sense to me as the other side.

Okay, this debate is pointless, there's no right or wrong answer because it depends on the kid, heh.
If the ideal answer does depend on the kid, which it may well and likely does, then it depends on the kid. That would mean that the answer has multiple conditional parts, not that the debate is pointless.
 

thewrongvine

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For the third time... do you guys like to see kids being beaten?
That was sarcasm, because I don't think a smack, slap, or spank is beating the kid up. It's not even painful or cruel or unjust. In a sense, it's more playful. Sigh...

~Hai-Bye-Vine~
 

ElderKingpin

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Right, slap your kid to show him/her your love. Maybe that's how I should try to pick up some girl?
...If you discipline somebody, you care for them (this is talking on a parent-child relationship, your trump card seems to be applying it to outside of these situations)

If you just let the kid run out and do whatever he wants, you obviously dont care enough about his well-being or how he is going to turn out, because he is going to most likely turn out bad.


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This is an example to loving chastisement i just stated...

Take this forum for example, we have moderators. And what do moderators do? They close threads, and tell people what is wrong with what they are doing, they care about what is going to happen, so they act upon it. It may not be physical punishment, but it is the same idea.
 
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