I Wish I Had A Hamster

BlowingKush

I hit the blunt but the blunt hit me.
Reaction score
187
I wish I had a hamster,
A funny, furry friend.
A soft and squeeky hamster.
If it's not to much to spend.

If I had a hamster,
My life would be just great,
My life would have a purpose,
To put food upon my plate.

If only I had a hamster,
I would travel all the world.
I would drink the finest waters.
I would hug the finest girls.

I'd build the longest bridges.
And cry the happiest tears.
If I only had a hamster.
To dampen all my fears.

When I get my hamster,
I'll build the longest tubes.
An endless hamster highway,
With junctions made of cubes.

I'll cure the world's diseases,
And bring to life, the dead.
I'll hand out golden apples.
I'll break the golden bread.

When I get my hamster,
This earth won't be so grey.
This earth will have a reason.
To spin from night to day.

The sun will shine much brighter,
Pillows more fluff and soft.
Hamburgers will taste much better.
A cold becomes a cough.

When I get my hamster.
My life will surely change.
For when I get my hamster.
This life won't be so strange.

-BudSMoke

hamster.jpg
 

Dr.Jack

That's Cap'n to you!
Reaction score
108
10/10.
Great, great job. Not sure if this was your original intention however I saw the poem as a joke on human nature. We often believe that once we get something we don't have, everything will be better, even if it is a small, ridiculous thing. Anyway, it made me laugh. :p
 

Zakyath

Member
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239
shouldn't it be "If it's not too much to spend."

Oh well, good at always. Wasn't as funny as some of your others, but still good.
 

Pineapple

Just Smile.
Reaction score
576
"If I had a hamster,
My life would be just great,
My life would have a purpose,
To put food upon my plate."

Are you, or are you not refering to eating the hamster? Thats what it sounds like :p
 

Ninva

Анна Ахматова
Reaction score
377
"If I had a hamster,
My life would be just great,
My life would have a purpose,
To put food upon my plate."

I think he means he'll have a purpose to live; to eat; to breath. As you can see, hamsters are very close companions. They can can make even the vainest narcissistic selfless and whole.
 

BlowingKush

I hit the blunt but the blunt hit me.
Reaction score
187
LOL.
No, the meaning of that stanza is NOT about eating the Hamster :eek:
That just wouldn't fit well with the meaning of this poem.

Ninva has it right. If I get my hamster, I will have reason to continue eating and continue my life.
 

Varine

And as the moon rises, we shall prepare for war
Reaction score
803
I have a hamster that bites me and then hides in the tubes. Is that normal when you first get them? The little fucker made me bleed.
 

MurderMode

Giving new meaning to co-op... slowly
Reaction score
154
No, the meaning of that stanza is NOT about eating the Hamster

Sorry to be the one to drop this on you, but the only way you are going to get those special abilities is if you do eat the hamster. It needs to be digested to unlock it's true power. I thought everyone knew that.

Nice work again, although I kept waiting for 'I think I might be gay' to pop up in there somewhere
 

Jedimindtrixxx

┻━┻ ︵ ¯\(ツ)/¯ ︵ ┻━┻
Reaction score
168
Sorry to be the one to drop this on you, but the only way you are going to get those special abilities is if you do eat the hamster. It needs to be digested to unlock it's true power. I thought everyone knew that.

Nice work again, although I kept waiting for 'I think I might be gay' to pop up in there somewhere

LOL i actually shit myself laughing when i read the last sentence! (not literally, figure of speech, cuz if i did then itd be quite a mess)
 

BlowingKush

I hit the blunt but the blunt hit me.
Reaction score
187
Nice work again, although I kept waiting for 'I think I might be gay' to pop up in there somewhere

LOL.

I hope you appreciate the fact that I put the perception of my sexuality at risk for your entertainment.
I'll have to admit. It isn't easy to discuss homosexual intercourse with such detail and not be intrigued.
 

EatShrooms

You can change this now in User CP.
Reaction score
44
He'd go through long tubes? Dark tubes?
Would his name be lemmiwinks?
 

MurderMode

Giving new meaning to co-op... slowly
Reaction score
154
LOL.

I hope you appreciate the fact that I put the perception of my sexuality at risk for your entertainment.
I'll have to admit. It isn't easy to discuss homosexual intercourse with such detail and not be intrigued.

I reckon. Because of you, every time I clap my hands now I think they look kind of big and sorta gay. Asshole.
 
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