I Wish I Had A Hamster

BlowingKush

BlowingKush

I hit the blunt but the blunt hit me.
Reaction score
188
I wish I had a hamster,
A funny, furry friend.
A soft and squeeky hamster.
If it's not to much to spend.

If I had a hamster,
My life would be just great,
My life would have a purpose,
To put food upon my plate.

If only I had a hamster,
I would travel all the world.
I would drink the finest waters.
I would hug the finest girls.

I'd build the longest bridges.
And cry the happiest tears.
If I only had a hamster.
To dampen all my fears.

When I get my hamster,
I'll build the longest tubes.
An endless hamster highway,
With junctions made of cubes.

I'll cure the world's diseases,
And bring to life, the dead.
I'll hand out golden apples.
I'll break the golden bread.

When I get my hamster,
This earth won't be so grey.
This earth will have a reason.
To spin from night to day.

The sun will shine much brighter,
Pillows more fluff and soft.
Hamburgers will taste much better.
A cold becomes a cough.

When I get my hamster.
My life will surely change.
For when I get my hamster.
This life won't be so strange.

-BudSMoke

hamster.jpg
 
Dr.Jack

Dr.Jack

That's Cap'n to you!
Reaction score
109
10/10.
Great, great job. Not sure if this was your original intention however I saw the poem as a joke on human nature. We often believe that once we get something we don't have, everything will be better, even if it is a small, ridiculous thing. Anyway, it made me laugh. :p
 
Zakyath

Zakyath

Member
Reaction score
238
shouldn't it be "If it's not too much to spend."

Oh well, good at always. Wasn't as funny as some of your others, but still good.
 
Pineapple

Pineapple

Just Smile.
Reaction score
576
"If I had a hamster,
My life would be just great,
My life would have a purpose,
To put food upon my plate."

Are you, or are you not refering to eating the hamster? Thats what it sounds like :p
 
N

Ninva

Анна Ахматова
Reaction score
377
Pineapple said:
"If I had a hamster,
My life would be just great,
My life would have a purpose,
To put food upon my plate."
Click to expand...

I think he means he'll have a purpose to live; to eat; to breath. As you can see, hamsters are very close companions. They can can make even the vainest narcissistic selfless and whole.
 
BlowingKush

BlowingKush

I hit the blunt but the blunt hit me.
Reaction score
188
LOL.
No, the meaning of that stanza is NOT about eating the Hamster :eek:
That just wouldn't fit well with the meaning of this poem.

Ninva has it right. If I get my hamster, I will have reason to continue eating and continue my life.
 
Varine

Varine

And as the moon rises, we shall prepare for war
Reaction score
805
I have a hamster that bites me and then hides in the tubes. Is that normal when you first get them? The little fucker made me bleed.
 
MurderMode

MurderMode

Giving new meaning to co-op... slowly
Reaction score
154
No, the meaning of that stanza is NOT about eating the Hamster
Click to expand...

Sorry to be the one to drop this on you, but the only way you are going to get those special abilities is if you do eat the hamster. It needs to be digested to unlock it's true power. I thought everyone knew that.

Nice work again, although I kept waiting for 'I think I might be gay' to pop up in there somewhere
 
Jedimindtrixxx

Jedimindtrixxx

┻━┻ ︵ ¯\(ツ)/¯ ︵ ┻━┻
Reaction score
168
MurderMode said:
Sorry to be the one to drop this on you, but the only way you are going to get those special abilities is if you do eat the hamster. It needs to be digested to unlock it's true power. I thought everyone knew that.

Nice work again, although I kept waiting for 'I think I might be gay' to pop up in there somewhere
Click to expand...

LOL i actually shit myself laughing when i read the last sentence! (not literally, figure of speech, cuz if i did then itd be quite a mess)
 
BlowingKush

BlowingKush

I hit the blunt but the blunt hit me.
Reaction score
188
Nice work again, although I kept waiting for 'I think I might be gay' to pop up in there somewhere
Click to expand...

LOL.

I hope you appreciate the fact that I put the perception of my sexuality at risk for your entertainment.
I'll have to admit. It isn't easy to discuss homosexual intercourse with such detail and not be intrigued.
 
EatShrooms

EatShrooms

You can change this now in User CP.
Reaction score
44
He'd go through long tubes? Dark tubes?
Would his name be lemmiwinks?
 
MurderMode

MurderMode

Giving new meaning to co-op... slowly
Reaction score
154
BudSMoke said:
LOL.

I hope you appreciate the fact that I put the perception of my sexuality at risk for your entertainment.
I'll have to admit. It isn't easy to discuss homosexual intercourse with such detail and not be intrigued.
Click to expand...

I reckon. Because of you, every time I clap my hands now I think they look kind of big and sorta gay. Asshole.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
General chit-chat
Help Users
  • No one is chatting at the moment.
  • The Helper The Helper:
    The bots will show up as users online in the forum software but they do not show up in my stats tracking. I am sure there are bots in the stats but the way alot of the bots treat the site do not show up on the stats
  • The Helper The Helper:
    New recipe is Shipwreck Dinner - https://www.thehelper.net/threads/recipe-shipwreck-dinner.193511/
  • Varine Varine:
    I want to build a filtration system for my 3d printer, and that shit is so much more complicated than I thought it would be
  • Varine Varine:
    Apparently ABS emits styrene particulates which can be like .2 micrometers, which idk if the VOC detectors I have can even catch that
  • Varine Varine:
    Anyway I need to get some of those sensors and two air pressure sensors installed before an after the filters, which I need to figure out how to calculate the necessary pressure for and I have yet to find anything that tells me how to actually do that, just the cfm ratings
  • Varine Varine:
    And then I have to set up an arduino board to read those sensors, which I also don't know very much about but I have a whole bunch of crash course things for that
  • Varine Varine:
    These sensors are also a lot more than I thought they would be. Like 5 to 10 each, idk why but I assumed they would be like 2 dollars
  • Varine Varine:
    Another issue I'm learning is that a lot of the air quality sensors don't work at very high ambient temperatures. I'm planning on heating this enclosure to like 60C or so, and that's the upper limit of their functionality
  • Varine Varine:
    Although I don't know if I need to actually actively heat it or just let the plate and hotend bring the ambient temp to whatever it will, but even then I need to figure out an exfiltration for hot air. I think I kind of know what to do but it's still fucking confusing
  • The Helper The Helper:
    Maybe you could find some of that information from AC tech - like how they detect freon and such
  • Varine Varine:
    That's mostly what I've been looking at
  • Varine Varine:
    I don't think I'm dealing with quite the same pressures though, at the very least its a significantly smaller system. For the time being I'm just going to put together a quick scrubby box though and hope it works good enough to not make my house toxic
  • Varine Varine:
    I mean I don't use this enough to pose any significant danger I don't think, but I would still rather not be throwing styrene all over the air
  • The Helper The Helper:
    New dessert added to recipes Southern Pecan Praline Cake https://www.thehelper.net/threads/recipe-southern-pecan-praline-cake.193555/
  • The Helper The Helper:
    Another bot invasion 493 members online most of them bots that do not show up on stats
  • Varine Varine:
    I'm looking at a solid 378 guests, but 3 members. Of which two are me and VSNES. The third is unlisted, which makes me think its a ghost.
     +1
  • The Helper The Helper:
    Some members choose invisibility mode
     +1
  • The Helper The Helper:
    Latest Recipe is Garlic Parmesan Chicken https://www.thehelper.net/threads/recipe-garlic-parmesan-chicken.193575/
  • The Helper The Helper:
    I bitch about Xenforo sometimes but it really is full featured you just have to really know what you are doing to get the most out of it.
  • The Helper The Helper:
    It is just not easy to fix styles and customize but it definitely can be done
  • The Helper The Helper:
    I do know this - xenforo dropped the ball by not keeping the vbulletin reputation comments as a feature. The loss of the Reputation comments data when we switched to Xenforo really was the death knell for the site when it came to all the users that left. I know I missed it so much and I got way less interested in the site when that feature was gone and I run the site.
  • Blackveiled Blackveiled:
    People love rep, lol
     +1
  • The Helper The Helper:
    The recipe today is Sloppy Joe Casserole - one of my faves LOL https://www.thehelper.net/threads/sloppy-joe-casserole-with-manwich.193585/
  • The Helper The Helper:
    Decided to put up a healthier type recipe to mix it up - Honey Garlic Shrimp Stir-Fry https://www.thehelper.net/threads/recipe-honey-garlic-shrimp-stir-fry.193595/
  • The Helper The Helper:
    Here is another comfort food favorite - Million Dollar Casserole - https://www.thehelper.net/threads/recipe-million-dollar-casserole.193614/

      The Helper Discord

      Members online

      No members online now.
      Online now:
      347 (members: 0, guests: 347)

      Share this page

      Affiliates

      Hive Workshop NUON Dome World Editor Tutorials

      Network Sponsors

      Apex Steel Pipe - Buys and sells Steel Pipe.
      Top