Short Story If each drug was a dinner guest what would they all be doing?

iPeez

Hot food far all world wide!
Originally posted here, all credit to MrNotSoBright.

Here's our cast: Coco (Male-Cocaine) : Alchie (Male-Alcohol) : Mary (Female-Marijuana) : Molly (Female-MDMA) : Shilo (Female-Mushrooms) : Pip (Male-PCP) : Ellis (Male-LSD) : Dex (Male-Robo) : Suda (Female-Meth) : Harry (Male-Heroine) : Sally (Female-Salvia) : Dundee (Male-Krokodil) : Danny (Female-DMT) : Katy (Female-Ketamine)

Coco, a very wealthy and highly eccentric millionaire invites a number of his old friends to his extravagant villa. Butlers stand in the front courtyard ready to receive the guests. The first to arrive is Alchie, a very old friend of Coco's, a man Coco only knows because he helped him fight off a couple drunks behind a bar. He is a grizzled-looking man with unchecked stubble growing over his leathery face and down his wrinkled neck. He storms through the front gate in his 70's Pickup as if it wasn't even there and kicks it up over the curb, nearly eviscerating a butler with the bull-horns on his grill. Alchie throws open the door and practically falls out of his lifted truck then proceeds to haphazardly throw his keys towards the butler he nearly killed saying, "I'll hav yer head if my baby cumz back with even a scratch!".
Mary, Molly and Shilo have been best friends since high-school, but are now seniors in college. They met Coco at an insane house-party a year or two back, somewhere he ended up as a fluke, and now frequent more high-class parties with him as VIP guests. Mary is a rather sociable girl, attractive without being overwhelming, and always down to just hang out. Molly could be a super-model she is so gorgeous, but her downfall is that she knows it and that she is not unwilling to use that knowledge. She is a party-girl who is all about feeling good. Shilo is a cute, but is a much more quiet girl, although very empathic and in-tune with her surroundings. She often loses her train of thought, but can talk for hours if you get her on a subject she loves. Mary pulls up in her sporty hatchback and all three get out and walk into the house.
About three minutes later they can hear loud footsteps echoing, growing in speed and intensity the closer they got. It sounded like someone running. Sure enough, sprinting down the long driveway was Pip. Pip lives close to twenty miles away and definitely owns a car, and yet here he is, sprinting towards the house wearing a dirty wifebeater and ripped pants. He stops right before going into the house and plants a right-hook into the jaw of the nearest butler, sending him flying into the bushes. Pip jumps up in down, his fists raised in victory, then sprints indoors.
Next came Ellis and Dex, almost at the same time. Ellis parked without a problem, but continued to sit in his car staring at the steering wheel as if dumbfounded. Dex, once parked, opened the door but wouldn't get out because he was convinced it was a 90 foot drop to the grass, and so hung onto the steering wheel as if his life depended on it. It took nearly ten minutes for some butlers to coax Dex out of his car, convincing him that the handkerchief they had placed on his back would allow him to fly. As for Ellis, they simply had to tell him that "all of the answers were inside".
As Dex was being coaxed out of his car, sirens could be heard. The red and blue of police lights dimly lit the row of trees at the end of the long driveway, but grew in intensity, obviously coming towards the house. A state trooper vehicle could be seen swerving down the driveway, siren blaring, lights going before plowing into a nymph statue in the courtyard, whose top-half proceeded to break off and fall onto the top of the car, stopping the lights and siren. Smoke rose from the hood of the police car as Suda stepped out and lit up a cigarette. She looked like someone you would see in one of those old WWII Nazi concentration camp pictures, except dressed like a second-rate hooker. "I BORROWED IT" she exclaimed before stumbling into the house on account of her uneven heels.
Soon Harry drove up in his big, unmarked black van, the kind of van you might imagine a metal band driving to shows. He stepped out, cigarette already half-finished, his long, greasy hair practically sticking to his face and leather jacket. It was close to 11pm, and yet he was wearing sunglasses and looked as if he had just woken up. His gaunt cheeks sunk even deeper as he took the final drag of his cigarette making his face look like a corpse's before sauntering into the house.
Soon two cars could be seen coming up the driveway, one a simple sedan, the other a small, boxy seemingly third-world car. Out of the sedan came Sally and Danny, two "psychadelic" chicks that never quite seem to be "all there". They rarely speak, walk around like they're in a trance, and often stare off into nothingness, sometimes staring right at someone as if they aren't there. Danny, in particular, seems as if she could have severe Schizophrenia as she darts her gaze around towards things that aren't there and seems to react to things not happening.
Out of the shitty, third-world looking car came Dundee and Katy, two quick-tempered, dead-eyed, bi-polar, hardcore Russian friends. Dundee is coarse and smelly, has a thick raspy Russian accent and is constantly scratching his limbs and spitting. Katy is very mellow, very quiet, practically catatonic, and yet if you get her or Dundee fired-up, you'd better not be in the same room.
Once everybody had arrived, Coco lead them into the grand dining room where a monstrous feast had been prepared...
Coco stands before his guests in front of massive double-doors wearing an exuberant, spotless white suit, gold chains hanging loosely around his neck. His short black hair is seemingly unkempt, and yet the rest of his flawless appearance would have you believe otherwise. He is constantly moving, never able to truly hold still for very long, and frequently thumbs his nose with a sniffle. He is boisterous and loud, getting right in the face of whomever he is talking to, presenting an intensity and confidence that was incredibly hard to ignore.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, you are no doubt aware of the lucrative business opportunity for which I have summoned you all here today. I can assure you we will talk seriously, but first allow us to eat.” A thin smile creeps across Coco’s face as he claps once, loudly. The doors behind him are swung open, and before all of the guests sits an extravagant meal set upon a long table, seven chairs on either side with a large chair at the end.
Once seated, the covers over their food were removed and they were allowed to begin eating. Right away Alchie, Mary and Molly’s eyes light up, like the Pearly Gates had been opened before them. Alchie set upon his food like a starving dog, taking food from the plates of Dex, who is attempting to figure out why his plate is so far away, and Harry who has simply lit up another cigarette and leaned back in his chair, his sunglasses reflecting the glimmering of the chandelier. Mary mindlessly puts the food into her mouth while scanning the room trying to decide if everyone else knows she’s high. Molly has been thrust into a world all her own and has begun playing with her food and taking a long time to eat small amounts. Every bite she exclaims that it is the best _____ that she’s ever had.
Pip was startled and angered by the butler taking the top off of his flying saucer and ended up in a stand-off with several of them, wielding his chair. While this happens beside him, Ellis is staring at a fork trying to decide who put the prongs on it and whether or not they were relatively trustworthy. Suda is attempting to remain nonchalant while she takes silverware and puts it into her purse. Sally is under the table thinking she’s lost in a cave, but too afraid to call for help because she’s convinced the walls are alive. Shilo is apologizing as she drives her fork into the defenseless broccoli, fighting back tears as she sends him into the darkness of her soul to be torn apart. Dundee is too preoccupied with his left arm, which has fallen off, to eat anything. Katy has fallen out of her chair and proceeded to fall asleep.
At the end of the table, Coco and Alchie are talking over Dex, who has found himself facing backwards in his chair and is trying to convince it to give up its trickery, about the best fights they had ever gotten in and how many punches it took to drop the pussy, how many bitches they’ve fucked, and how much they love money. Mary and Molly are giggling to each other about how many servings they’ve had and how they’re both going to be “so fat” while Molly strokes Mary’s hair. Danny has left the table and is sitting cross-legged in front of a blank-white wall, mumbling under her breath. Dundee has given up on his arm and decided to go home and shoot-up, forgetting Katy drooling on the floor. Shilo has stopped eating because she managed to discover her reflection in the silver plate. Pip has been wrestled to the ground, but not before breaking his chair over one butler and knocking out another. There are five men trying to hold him down while he exclaims “THIS IS MY HOUSE” over and over. Ellis had decided that forks and the people who produced them were trustworthy enough, but now couldn’t decide how to end the classism between them and the other utensils; civil war was on the horizon.
Coco stands with his wine glass in his hand and taps it with his fork to get the attention of his guests.
“My Frien—“, a shoe flies across the table before he can finish, shattering the glass in Coco’s hand. Pip stands near the other side of the table breathing heavily, surrounded by five or six unconscious or slowly retreating butlers.
“SHUT IT UP, LIQUID! YOUR WORDS HAVE NO POWER HERE”, he screams as he slams his head into the table. Alchie, with a face flush with intense anger, downs the rest of his beer, promptly pukes onto his plate, and then storms off towards Pip. The two begin brawling while Coco continues.
“Ahem! My friends, it appears that most have finished their meals and so I would like you to follow me into my recreation room where we can begin our discussion." Everybody but Katy who is still passed out on the floor and Alchie and Pip who are throwing each other around the room follow Coco into his lavish bonus room. High ceilings and mahogany walls adorned with priceless works of art, a wall converted into a tall bookshelf, a crackling fireplace, a hand-crafted pool table, indoor Jacuzzi already bubbling and frothing in the corner; all of it lay before their eyes.
Mary dreamily heads towards the piano, followed closely by Molly who is transfixed by the extravagance of the room and can’t stop touching things. Dex is having trouble transitioning from the hardwood flooring to the carpet because he’s convinced that without climbing gear there is no way anybody could make it up that. Suda has begun lurking around the room trying to find trinkets she can put into her pockets while keeping a close eye on Harry who stands motionless in the frame of the doorway, ashing his cigarette directly onto the floor. Sally and Danny, who seem to have become a bit more lucid, both cautiously enter the room and immediately make for the couch. Ellis brings his Utensil Delegation into the room with him in the hopes that they can continue peaceful negotiations towards an armistice; too long has the Knife Hegemony persecuted the others, and far too close are they to a complete dissolving of their state. Shilo finds herself in the hot tub, exclaiming how wonderful it feels to be back in the womb.
Mary starts playing the piano which delights Molly. Molly sprawls out on the ground beside the piano and rubs her hands and face across the plushy carpet, eyes closed as she listens to the melodies floating about the room. Dex has managed to find his way around the edge of the carpet but got lost half-way between the piano and the bookshelf. Coco stands at the bar pouring himself a drink which gets the attention of Alchie, who has managed to subdue pip by trapping him in the garage. Coco excitedly discusses the last time he was in a gun battle with the Mexican police, does a line, then smashes his shot glass on the floor. Harry disappears into the bathroom. Shilo counts her fingers just to make sure she has them. Sally and Danny have a staring contest without either of them being aware. Ellis has gotten into a heated argument with Suda after finding out she was keeping a number of Prisoners of War in the “terrible conditions” that were her purse, and is pleading with her to look into her heart and set them free.
Katy twitches in the other room.
The distant chirping of crickets and bumbling gurgle of his Koi pond’s fountain seeped in from the back yard. The full moon shone through the back patio doors with windows reaching from floor to ceiling. A soft-blue glow gave the grandiose room a soothing ambiance and a fire crackled in the grand fireplace, warming the room and filling it with a pleasing, earthy musk. Mary, too, had begun to fill the room with her own pleasing, earthy musk, bringing a bong in from her car and passing it around the circle they had formed in front of the fire. Alchie sat with is back to the fire, eyes closed, soaking in the heat, or possibly only semi-conscious. Beside him sat Ellis and Molly who were feeling each other’s skin and hair while discussing how Sporks were, without argument, the master-race of utensils that would someday unite the clans and see an end to this petty quarreling. Beside them was Mary, eyes redder than the devil’s dick, delicately passing the bong to Sally. Sally is giggling uncontrollably, making Mary a bit nervous. To Sally’s right Danny sat entranced by the dancing of the flames, sometimes whispering as if communicating with them. A spot where Harry had been between Danny and Shilo sat empty; he was in the bathroom again. Shilo kept getting confused as to where she was and why she was there, looking at everybody as if they were strangers, continually asking, “Wait, is this a dream?” Dex was outside of the group lying on the pool table waving his hands in front of his face blinking each eye one at a time. Suda was paranoid that she had left the keys in the ignition, but wouldn’t leave the house for fear of the DEA getting her, and so paced around the group biting her nails. Katy still lay beside the dining room table, and had since pissed herself.
A crashing noise could be heard slightly in the distance, like the sound of wood being split. Grunting. Angry yelling. Then, through the tall windows looking into the back yard Pip could be seen, knuckles and forehead bloody. He took a running start before leaping head-first through the window, sending the pane of glass flying all over the room and opening the unlocked door. He let out a deafening war-cry and ran over to Coco where he started explaining how he had spent the last six months in a North Korean re-education camp, how he had broken out of solitary confinement (Alchie had shoved him in the trunk of a car), how he had barged his way through the very walls of the complex (the garage), and how he had killed all four of the posted guards. The last part particularly confused Coco as there was nobody outside, but he brushed it off knowing Pip was known for blowing things out of proportion.
Coco, having finally coaxed everyone to him decided to get down to business.
“As you all know, this so-called “War on Drugs” has kept us on our toes. We’ve had to dodge the Feds at nearly every turn, and they are only continuing to close-in. Those fuckin’ cock-a-roaches know too much about what we’ve been up to. So I propose, for lack of a better term, a business opportunity; I think it’s about time we took the fight to the—“
Through the open door to the back yard, a crunching could be heard. Not much. Not very loud. But consistent. Advancing. The soupy blackness of the night held no other clues as to what lie outside.
Coco tapped Alchie’s shoulder, rousing him, and placed a finger over his lips signaling silence, then subtly motioned towards the door. One-by-one the others noticed his caution and started to become more alert. Then he thought, “Had my guys gotten rid of that police cruiser fast enough…?”
Suddenly, from the dining room, came a shallow creak, the sound of a light foot on hard-wood. Their heads turned and their breath seized.
In the doorway stood Katy.
“Ummm… There’s someone outsid—“
A shot rang out. A spray of red. Katy began to fall.
Coco’s voice erupted, “GET DOWN!”
Gas canisters rocketed through the windows of every room and began spewing a thick white smoke. Alchie pulled a long, glistening silver revolver out of his waistband; .44 Magnum Ruger Super Redhawk, six rounds of calculated Hell. Coco rolled under his coffee table and with the press of a single button revealed a fully-loaded M4 with grenade launcher. A Glock 37 also dropped, which he passed to Sudo, a novice shooter, but capable. He motioned for the others to take cover behind the couches. Pip, instead, crawled his way, shirt over his nose, to a corner near the fireplace which had a long Bastard-Sword, a commission by Coco, about two meters off the ground. They all held a momentary glance between them, an affirmation that they regretted nothing about who they were, then turned their gaze to the enemy.
Coco and Alchie, friends since college, shared a moment of acknowledgment. Alchie nodded. Coco understood. Behind the couches were innocents, people that had done very little, if any harm in their lives. They had not seen the kind of violence that they others had, and so had no way of defending themselves.
Through the windows they could see six or more SWAT closing in. They could guess there would be more on the other side of the house. Both Alchie and Coco stood up, followed by Sudo, weapons raised. They looked directly into the eyes of the men coming towards them, men that probably had no idea who they were or what they were capable of.
You should now play this video in the background while you read the rest[1]
(It was a fucking ambush)
The SWAT began screaming for them to get down, to drop their weapons, to give up peacefully.
(This was a fucking bomb…)
Our friends had different plans.
Sudo cocked, as did Alchie, and Coco armed the launcher.
Alchie took off to the left, Sudo right, and Coco stared death directly in the face, laughing.
AND THERE WAS A FIREFIGHT!
Coco let loose with the grenade launcher, sending the round directly through the open door. It landed just short of the advancing SWAT, but exploded and sent them to the ground nonetheless. Alchie and Sudo opened fire, as did the SWAT that weren’t incapacitated. Bits of couch flew through the air. The mahogany splintered. The books were torn to shreds. Priceless works of art were decimated. The frightened screams of those behind the couch, those that had no reason being here, right now, experiencing this, rang out.
Coco let loose with his rifle, spraying lead towards the assaulters. Shots rang out all through the night air. No doubt, this would be heard for miles around.
Alchie felt a sudden force on his chest, sending him backwards, falling towards the ground. Coco saw and planted a round into the man that fired the shot. Sudo emptied the clip at the remaining three men, hitting two, before taking a round between the eyes.
Coco took cover behind a bookcase. He noticed a SWAT member coming around the corner, from out of the dining room. The SWAT lined up his shot and placed his finger on the trigger.
BANG. The man in the doorway disappeared in an explosion of red. Another two shots are heard.
Dundee, with a smoking sawed-off in his good hand, came around the corner with a particularly satisfied look on his face. Behind him came Harry, a large pistol in his hand, cigarette hanging out of his mouth, sunglasses on.
Out of nowhere, Pip rushed out into the back yard wielding the bastard sword, screaming into the night. Pained and frightened yells were heard, as was the silence that followed.
The sound of helicopters could be heard in the distance.
“There will be more”, exclaimed Coco.
Another scream outside.
“We need to get them out of here!” Coco motioned towards the ones huddled behind the couch. He then walked over to his book-wall, placed his hand on a single book, and revealed a small door leading under the house.
“You guys get out of here” Coco said to Mary, Molly, Shilo, Ellis, Dex, Sally and Danny. “This passage will lead you to a river. You can escape along that. We will handle the rest of them”
Without hesitation they piled into the tunnel, which Coco closed behind them.
“They’ll get out”, said Harry without a shred of doubt.
The three of them walked out into the night air, where the sounds of Pip’s barbarism rang out far in the distance. They aimed to face what was coming to them.
They aimed to fight.
 
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