Poetry If we were rich

Discussion in 'The Writer's Corner' started by Zakyath, Sep 18, 2012.

  1. Zakyath

    Zakyath Member

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    Say, if we were rich, where would you live?
    I think I’d move down south, and build myself a shed.
    I think I’d get out of school, and get out in the world,
    Reading things in books can never make me learn.

    If I were to move, would you come with?
    I’ve tried a very long time; this life’s not for me.
    We could leave this afternoon; nothing’s holding us back.
    Let’s just pack our things and simply get out.

    She said, if I were rich, I wouldn’t be with you.
    If you would go down south, I would rather stay put.
    You see, I have dreams as well, but you’re never in them.
    Don’t stand waiting for me, when the train comes; leave.
     
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  2. Fatmankev

    Fatmankev Chef, Writer, and Midnight Toker

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    Best poem I've read in a long time. It was entirely entertaining. First two stanzas (or whatever the paragraphs are called in poetry) were pretty deep. Well, maybe deep isn't quite the best word, but they resonated with me hard. I feel completely the same way at times. The the third one was just a totally unexpected punch in the face, so totally different from everything in the first two yet written in exactly the same format.

    Well done.
     
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  3. Zakyath

    Zakyath Member

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    I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    I've been trying to get my writing going for a while now, and I've found that restraintless straight-forward type of texts are rather easy to get done. And since I merely just want the inspiration to come back to me, that's what I write.

    Although I'm generally more unhappy with what I create when I write in this way, I actually thought this piece worked rather well. I might upload some of the other stuff I've written lately.
     

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