Limericks

InfectedWithDrew

I used to go here a lot.
Here's a limerick. If you know one, post it. I'd like to hear more, cuz I only know this one. :)

There once was a faith healer from Deal,
Who said although pain isn't real,
If I sit on a pin
And it punctures my skin
I dislike what I think that I feel.
 

Ozzdog

Hopeless Toby Driver fan boy
Hockey is my favourite sport to play

I wish I could play it every day

We skate up the ice

Because it feels so nice

Hockey is the best, which is what I say​

Cheezy, but its a limerick.
 

Halahan

To die will be an awfully big adventure.
This isn't really a limerick, but it's a good poem I found none the less.

Live like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobodies watching.
Live like it's Heaven on Earth.
 

Pineapple

Just Smile.
There once wa a pie from my freezer,
He had lots of leasure,
He ran away in one dark night,
What a terrible fright,
He only named himself ebenezer.

:p I just made that up. I suck at poety though, i think thats the best poem i ever did.​
 

InfectedWithDrew

I used to go here a lot.
Actually, that was quite good.
I found a bunch of limericks in Uncle John's Bathroom Reader #17. So now I have a LOT more.

An accident really uncanny
Ocurred to my elderly granny
She sat down in a chair
While her false teeth lay there
And bit herself right in the fanny.

'There's a train at 4:04," said Miss Jenny.
"Four tickets I'll take. Have you any?"
Said the man at the door,
"Not four for 4:04,
For four at 4:04 is too many."

A painter who came from Great Britain
Accosted two girls who were knittin'.
He said with a sigh,
"That park bench-- well, I
Just painted it, right when you're sittin'."

A funny old bird is the pelican,
His beak holds more than his belican.
He take take in his beak
Enough food for a week.
I'm damned if I know how the helican!

There was a young lady who tried
A diet of apples, and died.
The unfortunate miss
Really perished of this:
Too much cider inside her inside.

There was an old skinflint named Green.,
Who grew so abnormally lean
And flat and compressed,
That his back squeezed his chest,
And sideways he couldn't be seen.

The was an old man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
His daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

A daring young lady of Guam
Observed, "The Pacific's so calm
I'll swim out for a lark."
She met a large shark...
Let us now sing the 90th Psalm.

A man with the surname of Beebee
Wished to marry a lady named Phoebe,
But he said, "I must see
What the minister's fee be
Before Phoebe be Phoebe Beebee."

A bather whose clothing was strewed
By winds that had left her quite nude,
Saw a man come along...
And unless we are wrong,
You thought the next line would be lewd.

Phew! That was exhausting.
 

Halahan

To die will be an awfully big adventure.
that is a LOT. I have one.

I swimmer who jumped in the pool,
forgot the number one rule.
That if you swim in pool,
after you sat on a stool,
then splinters get into the water.
:eek:
lol I JUST made that up right now. idk... that is kinda stupid...ah well who cares!
 

Pineapple

Just Smile.
that is a LOT. I have one.

I swimmer who jumped in the pool,
forgot the number one rule.
That if you swim in pool,
after you sat on a stool,
then splinters get into the water.
:eek:
lol I JUST made that up right now. idk... that is kinda stupid...ah well who cares!
Sorry thats not a Limerick

the ryming scheme is

A
A
B
B
A

Yours is

A
A
A
A
B
 

Pineapple

Just Smile.
Yes.

There once was a horse in a barn,
He ran around the farm,
But he learned some information,
When he died of Suffocation,
Uncle bob just got back from a chili con carne!​

fixed
 

InfectedWithDrew

I used to go here a lot.
The rythm of these poems are off BTW.
Syllables per line in above post:
8
6
8
8
10

The first, second, and fifth lines almost always have the same number of syllables, as do the third and fourth.
Not to criticize but that should be fixed.
 

Halahan

To die will be an awfully big adventure.
A farmer named Bill,
Went to work in a Mill,
And after frustation,
and Careful consideration,
He realized all he had was a Till.

lol I forget if "Till" is even a farming tool, but it works. Does that live up to your standars Pineapple? Im just making these up right when I open the reply page. lol thx FireWarrior.
 

Pineapple

Just Smile.
A farmer named Bill,
Went to work in a Mill,
And after frustation,
and Careful consideration,
He realized all he had was a Till.

lol I forget if "Till" is even a farming tool, but it works. Does that live up to your standars Pineapple? Im just making these up right when I open the reply page. lol thx FireWarrior.
There you go :D but it doesnt have the right about of sylables.:eek:
 
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