WIP [POETRY] Fruitbowl (English Assignment)

Avaleirra

Is back. Probably.
Well, first of all bowel is spelt "bowl"

and I like your idea on the fruit, but I dislike your rhyme scheme and the way you writ it. It may be a free-verse poem...so my comments might be useless but w/e.

A few things to consider:
1) your teacher might try to find ways to exploit this by saying something like "well, all fruit taste different". Your going to need to find a way to counter this in your poem (this can help take up more space).
2) I would recommend adding a rhyme scheme, but this is entirely your choice. I just personally prefer rhyme.
3) your teacher may ask "who is this owner you speak of" consider changing the word.


Otherwise, great idea +rep :thup:


Avaleirra
 

Avaleirra

Is back. Probably.
I'm a little confused. How are people nutritious?
He's just saying that were all the same on the inside. We may all look the same on the outside but on the inside were all human beings.

Shame you can't rhyme it :(. Would've made a good poem. If you ever want me to give you feedback on a poem, just PM me :).
 

Zakyath

Member
I liked the idea of it very much, but you should never forbid yourself to rhyme. You need to improve the flow, and rhyming is great for that. Ignoring rhymes is only good when you can keep the flow good too :p
 

tooltiperror

Super Moderator
Staff member
I would remove the Comma in the middle of the second line.
 
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