Port Fontaine

Dakho

()[o__o]()
Reaction score
75
Dark, scary (sort of) story. Nothing special, but it was fun to write, and hopefully will be fun to read :). Enjoy!

Current Progress - Beginning completed.

The sun had almost fallen; it was dusk. Silence hung over Port Fontaine, its denizens now retired to their homes. A light rain pattered against the steeply sloped rooftops, a prominent feature in the architecture of buildings in Port Fontaine. The houses, over the years, had developed a dark, weathered look due to the strong winds from the sea. The town had been built around the cathedral, the centerpiece of Port Fontaine. No one had entered the cathedral for more than a decade. It merely sat there, tall and brooding as if it watched over the town.

Not one soul stirred upon the streets that night. Instead, they stayed within the comfort of their homes. There were no beggars in Port Fontaine. Several years back, it was a common occurrence for them to disappear in the middle of the night, never to return. And so they left, fearing they might share that fate. Of course, the town was a rather pleasant enough place to live, providing one followed two very simple rules: Don’t go out at night, and never enter the cathedral. Over the past years, the town had watch many of its citizens leave for greener pastures. Of recent years, however, Port Fontaine had seen little of either coming or going. The town was nestled in a valley, and the only road out had been blocked off by a rock slide. As for the sea… No ships would come to the town. It was a port in name only. Most ship crews had heard the stories, and had no wish to visit such a place. To put it simply, Port Fontaine was haunted.

“Wake up, Damian.” The man known as Damian awoke to the blurred image of a man standing over him, silhouetted by the setting sun. Damian was bound by rope. “Where am I? Who are you?”
“Where? You’re in a lonely little alley, no one around but you and me. And who am I? It doesn’t matter, but for all intents and purposes, I am your executioner.”
“What?! What did I do?” Damian felt his heart double its pace as he backed against the cold wall behind him. “You angered the wrong people. And now? Now you get to put the legends of this town to the test,” The silhouetted man laughed.
“Angered? Angered who? What did I do, what did I do?”
“Well, to be specific, Lord Dontess. You slept with his daughter… How did you think that would bode for you, Damian? You’ve rather severely damaged his reputation. And now you shall suffer the night. Goodbye, Damian.”
“Wait, no… Wait! Please! I’m sorry!” The silhouetted man walked away, without another word. Damian was silent for several moments, as his mind tried to comprehend the situation. And then the tears. He crumpled to the floor, fear overtaking him. He screamed, but no one came. It was dusk, only minutes away from night. No one would risk coming out. But he cried out nonetheless.

After several minutes, he had lost hope. No one would be coming. He tried to be free of his ropes, but it was of no use. They were tied well, and there were many of them. He huddled into a corner in the alley. “Perhaps… Perhaps whatever occupies this most foul night will not notice me. Yes! I will hide in this alley, and no man or creature or otherwise shall find me.” As he sat in that corner, silence overtook him. Only the light pattering of rain could be heard. He closed his eyes, hoping that perhaps he might sleep through the night. His mind, at last, drifted to happier thoughts… of Lady Amelia Dontess, his love and his life. As he thought of her, he decided that if he died tonight, it would not be a bad death. For, he thought, is there a better death than one for love? With that he smiled, and his nervousness began to fade away. But his peace was not long-lasted. A sound, at last, was heard. A soft, echoing wail. All of his fears resurged at once. He tried backing into the corner more, but he had ran out of room. So he turned to his last resort; prayer. He folded his hands and spewed out a dozen pleads to God, hoping that perhaps one would reach Him. He heard the wail again; it was getting closer. If not for the situation, he might’ve considered the sound beautiful. He heard it again; it was closer. Then, footsteps. He heard footsteps. Damian bit back fearful tears, his entire body shaking.

And then, at long last, he saw it. It stood as a human, but most certainly was not. Tall, very tall, and incredibly slender. Moonlight shone upon it, revealing shining grey skin. Its features were barren. Damian noticed something very strange; the creature had no eyes. Nor ears, nor nose. Only a mouth. A large, smiling mouth. It turned to him, and took two steps forward. Damian wielded every fiber of strength in his being to hold back a whimper.

It approached Damian, who could not help at this point but to break into sobs. It stood not but three feet from the huddled Damian. The creature reached out its hand, and placed it on his shoulder. Suddenly, his ropes felt loose, they slid off of him. As his bindings fell, he suddenly felt a command fill within his conscious thought. Stand. He did so. At full height, he stood at the creature’s chest. He looked up, staring upon its barren, smiling face. It’s mouth opened. It spoke. “Goodbye.” Damian’s eyes widened, hearing it utter those two syllables, for it spoke the words as if it was the voice of his Lady Amelia. He stood, frozen in awe, as the creature opened its mouth incredibly wide, revealing a set of jagged teeth. As it engulfed his skull, he did not even react. He was frozen. And then, he was nothing.
 

Avaleirra

Is back. Probably.
Reaction score
128
I like it! Just a few suggestions though,

1. I felt like it wad TOO short, maybe add a bit more
2. Beggining was great, but you need more content in the end.


Otherwise, perfect! +rep :)
 

DogOfHavoc

Future Tragedy
Reaction score
55
Ok I g2g so I'll finish it later. However, I did notice a few redundant statements.

1) A light rain pattered against the steeply sloped rooftops, a prominent feature in the architecture of buildings in Port Fontaine
-If your describing them they are obviously a prominent feature, and we already know your talking about port fontaine.

2) The town had been built around the cathedral, the centerpiece of Port Fontaine.
-If it's built around it, it's obviously the centerpiece.
 

thewrongvine

The Evolved Panda Commandant
Reaction score
506
Eh, I think the extras are okay Dog. I mean the center doesn't have to be where it's built around, because of geographical issues or... something...

I liked it, :)
Ending was kind of obvious, well, I always figure out endings but ehem, it was a cool story. Short indeed, but good job!

~Hai-Bye-Vine~
 
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