Rap Writer

E

EyEcRu:ST

Guest
Yup yup...might as well post something over here...i da 1st to post rap??? Its a topical subject about drowning.

Drown Topical

I put My Walkman Down And Stop listening to Written-Rhymes-Of-Wisdom
All Kitted Up Finally gonna Complete My Life-Time-Ambition
Man Describing the Sea-Of-Leisure, Safety-Prosedures...Ha! Who Needs-Em'!?
"Take This Seriour Sir" Its Funny...I Continue To Tease-Him'
I Frantically Clutch-And-Grab but It all Slips-Though-My-Hands (Water)
My Heart's-All-Distraught I'm Falling Gently As My Mind Leaks-With-Thoughts
The Water Depth makes An Old Cut Bleed...Oh Shit My Bloods Green! Starts to Reek-And-Rot
My Oxygen Tank Explodes! It Floats-Above, I Struggle…It Just Erodes-My-Gloves!
Under the Pressure It Feels like My Heart Twisted-In-Knots Ripped Til' Its Completly-Apart
So I Stay Still as The "Still" Drags Me Down-The-Sea
If I Died...I Solemnly Wonder Where Would-I-Be?
Waves Flow Transparently Through All The Organs In my Body I wanna Shout but Instead I'm Moanin
My Lungs are No Good Soon I believe the Strife-Will-Come-To-An-Endin
My Floating-Flow Fills Up-My-Nose and My Heart-Pounds to a Minimum
The Arms of Death Embrace Me…Soothes…It’s the Equilibrium


1: Blood Looks Green When you're underwater at a certain pressure.

Hate plz :cool:
 
XXXconanXXX

XXXconanXXX

Cocktails anyone?
Reaction score
284
Not bad. At first my initial thought was "Oh Jesus," but then I read it and it has some poetic symblance to it, not just the materialization shit mainstream rap has.
 
Halahan

Halahan

To die will be an awfully big adventure.
Reaction score
52
not bad.
sounds kinda like another rap thread here though.
 
BlueSin

BlueSin

New Member
Reaction score
37
Sorry but that was pretty bad.

Edit:

Constructive hmm. I guess just better lyrics.
 
hortononon

hortononon

"I give em the hip then I take it away"-Jim Thorpe
Reaction score
29
eh

that sounds wayyyy more like a poem then a rap, not that there is much difference, but it just doesnt seem gangsterishy enough,

for a poem its not bad though;)
 
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