Reawakening - Short Story

Fatmankev

Chef, Writer, and Midnight Toker
Reaction score
240
I can't remember if I posted this or not before, but I couldn't find where it would be for the life of me so I'm gonna assume that I didn't get around to it. Sorry in advance if I have posted it before, but I did a fair amount of editing and proofreading so it should have very few mistakes. But yeah, it takes place in a world that is filled with the powers of Light and Dark that are always contesting. At this point, however, the power of Light has all but left the world, and the Abyssal Lord, controller and source of the powers of Darkness, is preparing for the final push that will plunge the world into darkness. This story follows the final moments of Fordren, a follower of the Light, and the frustration he endures due to his helplessness. I kind of like it, so read it and tell me what you think, please. Word.

Fordren inhaled sharply as he staggered forward, tenaciously gripping the wound at his side in an attempt to stave off the prolific bleeding; it was already beginning to take its toll on him, already sapping his strength mere moments after the attack, slowing his movements and blurring his vision as he pushed forward. The orange, glowing torches that lined the darkened corridors only seemed to make the shadows more pronounced, wearing away at his spirit as he listened for the dreaded sounds of his pursuer. After a few more steps he fell forward, shouting in pain as he collapsed against the roughhewn stone walls, rending his wound anew. Gritting his teeth as he waited for the pain to pass, Fordren pulled himself back up to his feet, taking shallow breaths so as to keep his sides as still as possible. “I must… push on…” he muttered to himself as he began trudging down the hallway again, and was suddenly filled with an overwhelming sense of dread.

A strangely happy chortling, complimented by the skittering of a thousand legs-on-stone, alerted Fordren to the omnipotent presence of his darkest foe. He forced himself to move faster, to outrun the creature for as long as possible, but he knew in his heart that he was deluding himself. He knew it to be as true as the Light forsaking him, leaving him here to die instead of granting him the strength he needed to survive. A dark presence suddenly invaded Fordren’s mind, and he was forced to stop mid-step to clutch at his head. You will not leave this place. Fordren shook his head as he tried to ignore it, and continued onward. The Light is weak. The Light is worthless. It cannot save you now.

“Get out of my head!” Fordren cried, pounding his palm against his forehead in a vain attempt to eradicate the malign presence of the Abyssal Lord. He came to a three-way intersection and immediately turned left; he had no time to consider his choices, he just acted on impulse and prayed for the best. As he focused his will on diminishing his foe’s hold on his mind, he noticed with mounting despair that this corridor was exactly the same as the last dozen corridors he’d been down. He felt the weight of the whole situation beginning to wear away at him.

You are a fool.

“I won’t hear it.”

The Light has forsaken all of its followers.

“You know nothing, demon.”

It is time for you to forsake the Light.

Fordren paused, stunned by what the Abyssal Lord had just suggested. Forsake the Light? Blasphemy! But then, hadn’t the Light done the same thing to him, in turn? He could feel himself growing weaker, his usually sharp wit becoming dulled, and felt something else growing inside of him. A sickening feeling settled in the pit of his stomach, and his footsteps slowed as his mind turned inward on itself.

Yes, Fordren, now you are beginning to see.

Fordren struggled to reconcile the turmoil of thoughts ravaging his mind, but each second he fought the Abyssal Lord’s mental domination he grew steadily weaker. He slumped backwards against the wall subconsciously as he felt everything that mattered – his dreams, his love, his ethics and beliefs – all changing inside of him, deforming into the dark, twisted will of the Abyssal Lord.

Do not fight it, Fordren. Everything will become clear in a matter of time.

He felt every little bit of himself being lost, but he didn’t know how to stop it; he was too weak to combat the will of the Abyssal Lord, and his suggestion had already opened the final gate to the inner recesses of Fordren’s mind. His dream, to grant his children a strife-free future, was corrupted and twisted until his only goal was to destroy the Light and the life it gave. His ethics, to help all those in need and to avoid harmful conflict at all costs, were twisted and corroded away until nothing was left. His love, Vaya…

“Vaya!” he cried out suddenly, and he was immediately overcome by a torrent of excruciating pain to which he’d felt no match.

Stop! Do not interrupt me, cretin!

Fordren screamed as the pain cascaded through him, washing over him from head to foot, but it was unable to carry him away; he clung desperately to that sole thought, the image of his beloved burned bright into his vision, overshadowing everything else. He felt tears running down his face as he cried, but it was not from the pain, but from his love. It became an all-consuming thought, the desperate something he’d needed to overcome the Abyssal Lord’s mental domination, and he finally felt the strength to stand again. “Leave me be, Demon. I will not become your tool.”

Fool! You will regret this almost as much as your dear Vaya will.
Fear and rage boiled up inside of Fordren as he thought of the Abyssal Lord’s power, and his imagination began to overwhelm him as he considered the endless methods of torture that the Abyssal Lord could employ. He suddenly heard the skittering of a thousand legs-on-stone again, and the torches lining the walls at the end of the corridor flickered and vanished. A second later and then the next set of torches flickered and died, and then the next, and the next. Fordren swallowed the lump in his throat as he ripped his blade from its scabbard, holding it shakily before him while adjusting his stance. He knew in his heart that this was it, but he couldn’t accept his defeat; he had to save Vaya, had to protect her, if he was ever to have peace.

The shadow creature was looming up over him before he even realized that it was there, and he was struck with terror as he stared into its unrelenting, crimson eyes. It struck at him, then, slamming its shadowy mass downwards as Fordren rolled backwards and stood up, taking in the whole of the creature as he stared at it. It was massive, easily several times the size of a bear, covered in what seemed to be a cloak or webbing of constantly shifting shadows that danced across the walls and floors, leaving tainted grooves wherever they caressed the stone. The roiling shadows covering its body were giving off a bitter cold that chilled Fordren to the bone, and he shivered against the chill as he moved out of the creature’s range. Before the creature had another chance to attack, the Abyssal Lord invaded his thoughts once more.

This is your final chance, Fordren. If you don’t give in now, then Vaya will never again know happiness. She will only know of the all-consuming agony that I will grant her until the end of days. Are you willing to allow that? Are you willing to accept that you, yourself, are the cause of her eternal damnation?

Tears streaked readily down his face at the Abyssal Lord’s final words, and Fordren collapsed to the ground before the shadow creature. He couldn’t allow himself to let the demon hurt Vaya, he couldn’t just die here and desert her; why should she die for loving him? Why should she suffer forever, just because the Light had forsaken them? His whole body tingled as an oddly familiar yet unknown presence entered his body. It started at his toes and fingertips and worked its way up his arms and legs, spreading a sense of warmth through him that he’d all but forgotten. Suddenly, he realized what it was and grabbed hold of it just as surely as he’d clung to his memories of Vaya.

“You are a monster, Shadow Lord. You have granted the world nothing but strife and grief. You hate all life, and thusly, you destroy it.” He paused, allowing the power to swell inside him before continuing. “But you are not as powerful as you believe. The Light and the Dark are a balance that none can deny, least of all you,” he explained, watching as the shadow creature became increasingly more agitated.

You know as well as I do that the Light has fallen from this world. There is nothing left but to accept your fate gracefully.

“You’re wrong, demon; and I think you know it,” Fordren replied as he thought of his beloved Vaya. “Love has kept you from destroying my mind once this day, and it will also keep you from destroying my body. The Darkness grows in strength with resentment for life, but the Light grows in strength with the acceptance of love.” The shadow creature suddenly lunged at Fordren, but he was ready; calling forth the power of the Light, not from the Heavens as usual but from within his own heart, Fordren stabbed his blade into the center of the shadowy mass. As soon as the shadows met the blade, it burst into a brilliant white flame that blinded even Fordren, and a sudden concussive blast flung him down the hallway and into the ground.

Fordren rolled over as quickly as possible, fumbling for his sword to no avail, and turned two determined eyes on the spot where the shadow creature had dwelled; it was gone, his glowing sword the only thing remaining. He sighed, satisfied, and closed his eyes. He screwed up his face in agitation as he lay there, the pain of his wound burning fresh as his blood began to pool beneath him. He couldn’t find the strength to move, even to try to stop the bleeding, so he simply thought of Vaya.

He tried to picture her face, but the only image he could come up with was fuzzy and indistinct. He panicked, and the image sharpened abruptly, and felt something connect within. He was satisfied. He was not a tool for anyone, and even if he died he had done what he could. He just hoped that he wouldn’t need to wait too long for Vaya.
 

thewrongvine

The Evolved Panda Commandant
Reaction score
506
pwetty pweety cool lol.
its very intersting and fantasy like - the way i like it!
but like my stories, when they are too clumped up, people find it hard to read. See in the story Abivalent Existence or something, like it has a line every 1 - 4 lines. That way, people can actually see where they are and its easier to read. Same thing for me... as a matter of fact, i gotta change my stories right now! lol.

but goodjob anyway, didnt catch any grammar errors (not good at that) so, yeah, you should continue the story. :)
 

Fatmankev

Chef, Writer, and Midnight Toker
Reaction score
240
Word, thanks for reading it, buddy. I would submit it as an MS Word document, but my version of Word will not save it as a DOC file no matter what I do, so sorry for the "clumpage." I appreciate you taking the time out of your life to look it over, though.
 

Ninva

Анна Ахматова
Reaction score
377
I would really like to read it, Fatman, but I don't have the time currently. I'll take a better look at it during the weekend.
 

Ninva

Анна Ахматова
Reaction score
377
That was brilliant. There was a perfect introduction, a perfect climax, and a perfect resolution. I'm so glad I could read this, and I hope you continue to write so much more.
 

Fatmankev

Chef, Writer, and Midnight Toker
Reaction score
240
Ninva, I just want you to know that your extremely positive criticism is one of the few things that has kept me coming back to the writer's corner. I just wanted to thank you personally for that.

Also, I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for reading.
 

Halahan

To die will be an awfully big adventure.
Reaction score
52
Well that was a really good story.
I can't see anything wrong with it. Everything was just perfectly synchronized.
Your descriptions are brief but to the point, and the only advice I can give you is make sure you don't go overboard with that (too much description), which you didn't do here.

A really spectacular story with a plot that hooks you but tells you enough so its not confusing. Gj!
 

Fatmankev

Chef, Writer, and Midnight Toker
Reaction score
240
After 3-4 days of inactivity in the Writer's Corner, I figure that this is the perfect opportunity to get more people to read this little story! =D

So, without further adieu...

BUMP
 

Prometheus

Everything is mutable; nothing is sacred
Reaction score
591
Very good story.
Enjoyable and well thought out.
Would love to see some more stories set in this relam.
 

Fatmankev

Chef, Writer, and Midnight Toker
Reaction score
240
Awesome bro, I'm glad you enjoyed the story.

Currently, I have many, many ideas involving this realm and the characters within (including Vaya and Fordren), but I've recently been overcome by Warcraft again. 'Cuz face it... you can do so much with the world editor; it's such an awesome tool. But I was thinking of just writing several short stories that take place in this realm as opposed to a full-fledged novel, so keep an eye out for any future works!
 

thewrongvine

The Evolved Panda Commandant
Reaction score
506
but I've recently been overcome by Warcraft again. 'Cuz face it... you can do so much with the world editor; it's such an awesome tool.

Word.
I started using WC3 Editor again (like a few days ago, i got so mad at it becuz my map file got corrupted and all my hard work was lost...) :D
 
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