School Romances: Good or Bad?

[Viikuna]

I personally think there should be more sex in schools. Its good for studying motivation, at leats thats what the latest researches say.


edit.

lols.
Well anyways. It depends. Some school romaces are cool, others are not. Thats how it goes.

 

[Zakyath]

>Not really. You can get laid with 2 or 3 different girls at a party (even at the same time)

I'm well aware of that, but even though there are exceptions where people do have sex without being in love, it still is an act of love. Even though you don't like something doesn't mean it's bad. There are better comparisons, but it's almost the same idea.

However, it doesn't matter since there's nothing wrong about sex; if you think that there's something wrong with it (which you apparently don't), other people shouldn't suffer for that.

And by the way, how the heck can you forbid someone from feeling feelings? Just restricting them from show them would be cruel. Wouldn't everyone in love be unhappily in love then, which is what you want to avoid?

 

[ElderKingpin]

i think there is a point where a person is old enough, more mentally then physically to start having sex. and whatever age you stated *scrolling up*.. whatever age you thought depends on the person. I think it is less about the age and more about how mentally ready one is for sex.
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Of course. im a nerd. so i dont know jack.

 

[tom_mai78101]

Hm...I thought experiences makes a man wise...

 

[Cornface]

Hm...I thought experiences makes a man wise...

They do. So just totally ignore whatever people tell you to do/not to do and do whatever you want, if you have the guts to do so. If you don't, and spend all your time in front of the computer, you will probably end up regretting not doing those things you wanted to experience.

 

[tom_mai78101]

I do spend some time with friends of opposite gender, plenty plenty of it (My computer science class have more females than males). But since I'm in a not-quite-conservative country, like Taiwan, I couldn't speak out or do anything about it.

Many of the popular entertainers on TV always have this sort of love affair relationships either going strong or going awry. They love to discuss about it on TV, but don't seem to have the incentive to improve their own behavior and attitudes about it.

 

[ElderKingpin]

because celebrities are attention hungry, that might be the only thing EVERYONE agrees on ._.

 

[Bloodcount]

Zakyath, Does it really matter ? School romanses can be good or bad. Period.

 

[Zakyath]

>Zakyath, Does it really matter ? School romanses can be good or bad. Period.

In which part of my post was the part you didn't think matter?

I do agree, they can be both good and bad, and therefore there's nothing wrong with them. Relationships between adults can also be both good and bad, and I'm positive most of those who have good relationships when they grow up have learned from previous experiences how to make it work. And if you're not allowed to make any experiences, it will become quite rare.

 

[tom_mai78101]

>Zakyath, Does it really matter ? School romanses can be good or bad. Period.

In which part of my post was the part you didn't think matter?

I do agree, they can be both good and bad, and therefore there's nothing wrong with them. Relationships between adults can also be both good and bad, and I'm positive most of those who have good relationships when they grow up have learned from previous experiences how to make it work. And if you're not allowed to make any experiences, it will become quite rare.

Second that.

 

[Flare]

Do I approve of school romances? While it isn't my position (or anyone else's, other than the parties involved) to approve (or disapprove) of school romances, I'd say yes. Let them live their life, make their own mistakes and, hopefully, learn from them.

well, tbh I had some bad experience 3 or 4 years ago.. but back then I was a kid. (12)

Now, please don't try to analyze me. You will come to find that the statements you just made are rather incorect. First of all, most teens are immature, they are thrill seekers, have zero respect for the feeling of others, for their relations with others (they just want to be "cool" and "the man" ) and therefore they can't really feel the true love. Second, as I stated aobve the teen years are when you find who you are. It is quite normal your taste and character to change so therefore you can expect to change the girls you like very often. I will agree with you that there is a small group of teen who are smart and more developed, but most of them aren't looking for a releationship to begin with

1) Before you go about complaining about someone analysing you, maybe you shouldn't infer anything about the overall teen population based on, what I would assume to be, your 'analysis' of people you've seen/spoken to/whatever. Practise what you preach

2) Hang on a second - you claim that sjakie is incorrect, then you appear to say something almost identical to what he says?

Zakyath, Does it really matter ? School romanses can be good or bad. Period.

Of course it matters - how can this debate exist if the details of why school romances are good/bad don't matter?

 

[Jimpy]

Then where do we give a definite answer on this matter?

Its a debate, were supposed to ponder both sides, provide definitions that outline either, and ultimately result in a communal sharing of opinions that will great-en each others perspective for having touched upon this topic.

well this doesnt matter to? I say romance is fine at school but not sex and most of the time the person you marry is not your girl\boy friend you had at school.

I recall an English class where we had a lot of couples in it (grade 12) and our teacher was very invested in the course material. He was bothered that we weren't paying attention and ended up lecturing us the next day on young couples statistics, and apparently something less then 5% of couples in high school last more then 2-3 years after high school. I can't cite the information unfortunately (our teacher did at the time).

Also that information really doesn't shock me.

Sex and romance are two entirely different things...

Well most studies, and successful couples will suggest that the two are interconnected, which I agree with.

There is previous discussion about "romantically inclined" sex, and "boink in the night" sex, which I think is important a distinction to have made. My feeling towards this in relation to teen couples is that most young ones are relating more to sexual experimentation, then "romantic" sex.

While "urges" and "experimentation" may need fulfilling/testing, I think a lot of young people's body are ahead of their maturity and understanding of things. Often I think it can stunt or alter a persons mental development by making them veer off in a direction that perhaps is less objective.

Romance is about love. Sex, well, it's just the "action".

You just restated yourself silly.

know the meaning of love

That is a grand statement to make that I think is not related to this debate, and far more easily refutable on a case by case basis then someones opinion on teenagers having sex or not in high school. Probably best to leave that for another debate.

well, tbh I had some bad experience 3 or 4 years ago.. but back then I was a kid. (12)

:S I think 15-16 still qualifies as a kid.

Now, please don't try to analyze me.

Too late, I think that snowballs been in motion for quite some time.

First of all, most teens [...] have zero respect for the feeling of others, for their relations with others (they just want to be "cool" and "the man" ) and therefore they can't really feel the true love.

However, this would suggest teens are not the best judgments of the environment they are part of, which MAY (devils advocate here) raise the question who IS accurately perceptive of this environment? People who have experienced that environment?

Say we had two copies of this debate, one for people in high school, and one for people who have completed high school. I'm positive people part of high school would be all heated and like "Nuh-uh!" where as the 'done high school' group would agree upon some solid conclusions.

May be indicative of the nature of "teen romance", more about feeling, less about thinking. Emphasis on "May" there.

Second, as I stated aobve the teen years are when you find who you are. It is quite normal your taste and character to change so therefore you can expect to change the girls you like very often.

Read a book about human unconscious last summer, it discusses a study done on peoples choice of coupling. Males tend to describe their choice of female as whoever it is they are with at the time, or whoever it is they may want to be with, but overall it is a totally dynamic "type" that guys like (females too). The study hinted that this is true for most of all age groups. Elderly citizens I don't think were included, nor teens.

the only thing I would change in the past concerning my relationships with girls is one that ended up because I was a total ass.

That really doesn't support your arguments at all.

Hm...I thought experiences makes a man wise...

Also causes bias?

Zakyath, Does it really matter ? School romanses can be good or bad. Period.

Neigh "Period". See my opening response to Tom_Mai.

Do I approve of school romances? It isn't my position; or anyone else's, other than the parties involved to approve or disapprove of school romances.

I say yes. Let them live their life, make their own mistakes and, hopefully, learn from them.

Some mistakes are better not had though. As a really bad/unrelated example, experiencing the loss of an arm probably isn't a good experience. You won't learn much from it in the grand scheme of things (unless you lose your arm in some philosophically mind blowing string of occurances). I think there are far less extreme experiences that are similar in nature where people can do without them.

While experiences do make up who we are, experiences we don't have are just as important.

you shouldn't infer anything about the overall teen population

Lot of inferring and stereotyping can make discussing this far easier though, so long as the exceptions are defined. It avoids millions of spin off "What if" situations if we umbrella term some aspects of the demographic.

80% would constitute most

In the context that this was originally said, it was that 80% of sexually active teens poorly carried out sexual activities in relation to their level of maturity and udnerstanding of what they were doing, and the repercussions of their actions not only physically, but mentally.

Mentally as in perversion of ones intellectual development, teen years are sensitive, and having sex is a pretty big thing to most people, and it certainly alters ones thoughts.

I frankly would raise the previously suggested % far higher then 80%.

Of course it matters - how can this debate exist if the details of why school romances are good/bad don't matter?

I personally think its a fascinating debate concept... Probably not a big shocker given the length of this post.

And thanks for reading this if you did.

 

[sjakie]

I recall an English class where we had a lot of couples in it (grade 12) and our teacher was very invested in the course material. He was bothered that we weren't paying attention and ended up lecturing us the next day on young couples statistics, and apparently something less then 5% of couples in high school last more then 2-3 years after high school. I can't cite the information unfortunately (our teacher did at the time).

Maby thats because people often move far away from each other after high school? Maintaining a relationship is definitely much more easy if you're in the same school or, in the case of an adult, in the same house. Im not entirely sure if adults would be able to maintain a relationship at a large distance (aside from those few fanatic individuals and the fuckbuddies who travel towards their partner once in a while), thus if this says a lot about teenagers. It doesnt change anything to the fact that a lot of relationships fail after high school, I know that, Im just not sure if we can completely blame their age on this one.

I frankly would raise the previously suggested % far higher then 80%.

You're absolutely right. I just used 80 to emphasise the fact it was a great majority of the teenagers. I never really asked some of them or did some research to find some realistic percentages.

 

[Cornface]

. But since I'm in a not-quite-conservative country, like Taiwan, I couldn't speak out or do anything about it.

Now, I have no idea how the norms over there works, but why not?

Or is this something you have made up as a reason not to talk with ze whimin?

 

[Sooda]

Couples in school does not necessarily have to have sex. They can be together, hold hands, kiss, etc. It is having good time with person who you feel comfortable with.
Many just pretend to be couple, being together less than month is practising. It is something like one night stands lol. Kids mimic grown ups in every possible way (smoking for example, or trying to pretend they are really important and busy people, which does not mean maybe there really are busy and important kids).
They are just playing, learning and getting experience how to be as grown ups.

It can be stressful to other kids as everybody can't be couples or many like same person, etc. Don't stress, hang with your friends or talk to grown ups if you don't have any friends sure they give practical tips how to like others and boost your courage to be yourself.

I did not read 3 pages text just wrote my own opinion.

 

[Jimpy]

Maintaining a relationship is definitely much more easy if you're in the same school or, in the case of an adult, in the same house. [...] It doesn't change anything to the fact that a lot of relationships fail after high school, I know that, I'm just not sure if we can completely blame their age on this one.

Kids mimic grown ups in every possible way

I think we can generally blame this on age; teens don't have the control over their lives, or freedom to manipulate their environment (like the typical adult does) to make staying in a relationship possible - especially if that means maintaining proximity to the individual they are attracted to.

Not entirely to blame, and its not like teens are 'bad' because of this, but it is an outside limitation that certainly effects the duration of high school couple.

You're absolutely right. I just used 80 to emphasise the fact it was a great majority of the teenagers. I never really asked some of them or did some research to find some realistic percentages.

Ah ok.

 

[Darkchaoself]

Short answer: In the middle; yes if they arent one of those people who have 3-5+ "relationships" a school year.

Long answer (Incoming wall of text): Yes and no. In my school, the majority of people who have "relationships" have just started talking to the other person or met them a few days before starting the relationship. On the first day of going out, you see them hugging, holding hands, kissing, saying how much they love each other, they'll be together forever, etc, and days later, they already broke up; and then a week later, they're in another "relationship".

Thats not love, imho, they dont know what they're doing, or what "love" is. These people kinda piss me off.

This is coming from the p.o.v of a 15 year old (Me), that is in his first relationship. Me and my girlfriend knew each other (And were good friends) for about 10 months before we actually started dating. Coincidentally, our first kiss was last night, only a few days short of 2 months into the relationship. The term "I love you" has rarely been used yet; the only times in a (comical?) way when we were trying to get on each others nerves ("wuv you!!1!!!"), not in a very serious tone.

So, yes, school romances can be good imo, but only if its regarding that small % of people who know how to handle it, and dont rush into it when they hardly know a person.

Think i missed a few things, might add on later.

I did not read 3 pages text just wrote my own opinion.

 

[ElderKingpin]

Good for you ^ (no sarcasm)
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People can do whatever they want in high school. In-school romance is just another reason for an idiot to skip out on studying, or something more important. Its bullshit that when you need to focus, theres shit flying at your face

 

[seph ir oth]

In a general sense, I should state that school romance should occur, for it will build a foundation towards future romances and make for better relationships, GIVEN that each person has friends and family to be around after any break-up(s) occur.

Personally, my last relationship is really hurting my rooming situation. I moved in with my girlfriend of a year, three other girls, and one other guy into a 6-person apartment. We broke up a few weeks after moving in, fighting ensured, I had an anger flare, and now everyone in my apartment BUT my ex plotted to get me out of the apartment. Currently, I'm looking into switching apartments (while staying in the same building) to preserve my lease and not lose my security deposit.

However, while all of this occurs, I managed to maintain decent grades in my classes in college. I am taking 20 credits/hours/whatever you wish to call it, and thus I'm busy, both with my apartment situation and college.

It really comes down to how MATURE one is. Even as a kid, one has to be able to realize that there are plenty of fish in the sea, and that school is the most important thing to worry about in their current part of their life (besides maybe family issues and whatnot).

 

[ElderKingpin]

ya. and i dont see many teenagers like that. im sorry :/