Environment Scientists Search for Loch Ness Monster, Find 100,000 Golf Balls

The Helper

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When Scottish scientists boarded their submersible and dove into the depths of Loch Ness, they were hoping to find evidence of a prehistoric creature along the loch floor. Instead, what they discovered were golf balls; hundreds of thousands of them.

The discovery illustrates an alarming report released from the Danish Golf Union showing that golf balls may take between 100 and 1,000 years to decompose in the wild. And decomposition is not a clean process. As the balls break down, they release toxins and heavy metals into the environment. The study shows that zinc, in particular, has the potential to cause problems because it attaches itself to sediments and poisons surrounding plants and animals.

Torben Kastrup Petersen, the course manager for the Danish Golf Union, explained that the true scale of the golf ball litter problem is not known:

There has been very little research on the environmental impact of golf balls, but it's safe to say the indicators are not good. We are planning to collaborate with environmentalists in America to conduct more tests to fully explore the extent of the problem.
 
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Bloodcount

Starcraft II Moderator
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So there is no monster after all. Awww I was soo hoping for a new animal to be discovered.
 

FireCat

Oh Shi.. Don't wake the tiger!
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So there is no monster after all. Awww I was soo hoping for a new animal to be discovered.
Holy shit. they did discovered a lot of Loch Golf Balls you see.
But there is.. a real loch ness hidden somewhere. LOL
 

Darthfett

Aerospace/Cybersecurity Software Engineer
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That's just what he wants you to think. He's hiding under the golf balls, of course. They're what caused him to mutate and become the monster he is, and they're making him stronger by the minute.

Tomorrow he'll take over the world, just you watch. He won't stop 'til he gets his tree fitty.
 

ReVolver

Mega Super Ultra Cool Member
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Tomorrow he'll take over the world, just you watch. He won't stop 'til he gets his tree fitty.


"No, you God damn Loch Ness Monsta, I ain't givin' you no three fitty!"
 
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