Monsterous
In the Shadows, Lurking.
- Reaction score
- 99
Well, heres a little story ive concocted, it was originally for the Writer's Challenge, but its been derelict for some time, so i thought i would pop it here and see what you guys and gals think.
Challenge: A character will visit the doctor. During the story, a character has to pay a fine. The story must have a cat in it.
The Story
Notes:
Challenge: A character will visit the doctor. During the story, a character has to pay a fine. The story must have a cat in it.
The Story
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Man layed on a wooden table covered in cloth and bloodstains, he was muscular, and wore no clothes except some combat trousers and boots. His pale skin reflecting the synthetic light from the bulbs. Looking around, he saw a marble floor, a few green cupboards, and medical supplies.
The only sound he could hear were footsteps; of a doctor.
......."Name Sergeant?" spoke the doctor, with a stern voice.
Groaning, the Sergeant replied weakly;
......."Sergeant Heffield Greeves..."
......."Very Well, Sergeant Greeves. My name is Doctor Kopskin."
Heffield noted his name, but a sudden rush of expulsion came from his mouth, coughing up blood onto his chest.
......."Relax, Sergeant, Relax!" cried Kopskin, "It is nothing short of a miracle however!"
Kopskin nodded at the broken object on the floor. Kneeling, he picked it up and showed it to the Sergeant.
......."Thats... my..."
......."K91 Rhino-Class Assualt Rifle; a nice make I must say so... a pity - what a waste." tutted the Doctor.
Kopskin readjusted his latex gloves, and produded a chair and sat down; twiddling his thumbs nervously.
......."You wanted to ask... something Doc?" Heffield asked.
......."Read me like a book... well i suppose i better say." sighed Kopskin.
......."Am I gonna die? Tell me Doc!" Heffield said anxiously, sweating slightly.
......."Die? Oh no-no-no-no! You'll be fine."
......."Then whats wrong with me?"
......."Wrong? Well; your ribcage is a bit shattered, You have slight internal bleeding, all your organs are undamaged miraculously, and .......your cybernetic enhancements are at 95% efficiency. We've already done the surgery mind you, but you will be fine in a week or .......two."
Sighing heavily with relief, Heffield smiled.
......."Do tell me though... what happened? Im always curious as to what our... brethren of death have to tell of their misendeavours." .......questioned Kopskin.
......."Well... i remember a part of it..."
'I Was with my fireteam, part of the Huncifol 2nd Platoon, it was night-time, we were in a town called... Prios I think. Rubble everywhere from an air-strike, few buildings remained somewhat intact. There wern't even skeletons, anything organic was melted by the Nolperit Napalm. We were settling down for the night in an abandoned shack. Two of my squadmates had already fallen to sleep, but the marksman specialist, Giran, was setting up his sniper.
......."What you doing Girian?" I asked.
......."We need some food for tomorrow, so i may as well start now." He replied.
......."Nothing out there, unless you count metal or rocks as food. Napalm got everything."
......."I spotted something earlier, im sure of it."
......."Yeah? Well good luck with it - just use your muzzle-silencer, theres no need for an enemy to see the flash and sound and think .......'Oh hey! Thats one of my guys! Why dont i pop on down, have some tea, and say goodbye in a non-violent way!"
......."Yeah, yeah, no need to get all bitchy."
He set up his sniper on a window ledge, and a few minutes later, lo and behold - he shot and caught something. He went out to get his prey, and came back.
......."Just a bloody cat."
......."It'll make some good meat i guess, but is it diseased? Does the napalm give off stuff?"
......."How should i know? I don't make the stuff."
......."We'll have to ask Igav." I sighed, pointing at one of our squadmates, who was the only person who knew how to work the .......medical gear.
At the time, I couldn't sleep, so I went around and patrolled the area. Nothing was unblackened, you could literally feel the area melting, as if the napalm was rushing over you. Eventually, I found something covered in rocks, I slung my assualt rifle over my chest, and removed the debris. Upon further inspection, I assumed it was a heavy object, it had a thick shell of metal, possibly a safe i thought at the time. As I removed more debris, I found a timer. Counting down. From 2 seconds. All I recall there was saying "Oh Shi-" and then blackness.'
......."So it was a bomb?" Kopskin asked puzzled.
......."An undetonated one, must have been a defect. Literally no firepower in it at all, otherwise i'd have been disintegrated, and if I .......hadn't put that rifle around my chest... i'd have been mangled beyond repair." Heffield explained.
......."It could have been a bomb years ago, and the timer malfunctioned; and with such little power, it explains why the napalm didnt .......set it off. Besides, your rifle absorbed most of the shock."
......."Heh... you should be a detective Doc." teased Heffield.
......."And miss out on the stories? I quite like it here thank you." said the Doctor sternly.
......."Anything i should know?" said Heffield.
......."You'll have to pay a fine for a new Rifle... sign here please." informed Kopskin, showing a form.
Kopskin protruded a pen from a pocket, and offered it to the Sergeant. The Sergeant grabbed it weakly.
......."Thanks Doc." Heffield said, signing the form.
......."Now get some rest; your body needs it."
Kopskin left the room, leaving Heffield to his thoughts and pain, and to his sleep.
......."Really... 'Oh Shi-'? I Should have said 'Bugger.'..."
A Man layed on a wooden table covered in cloth and bloodstains, he was muscular, and wore no clothes except some combat trousers and boots. His pale skin reflecting the synthetic light from the bulbs. Looking around, he saw a marble floor, a few green cupboards, and medical supplies.
The only sound he could hear were footsteps; of a doctor.
......."Name Sergeant?" spoke the doctor, with a stern voice.
Groaning, the Sergeant replied weakly;
......."Sergeant Heffield Greeves..."
......."Very Well, Sergeant Greeves. My name is Doctor Kopskin."
Heffield noted his name, but a sudden rush of expulsion came from his mouth, coughing up blood onto his chest.
......."Relax, Sergeant, Relax!" cried Kopskin, "It is nothing short of a miracle however!"
Kopskin nodded at the broken object on the floor. Kneeling, he picked it up and showed it to the Sergeant.
......."Thats... my..."
......."K91 Rhino-Class Assualt Rifle; a nice make I must say so... a pity - what a waste." tutted the Doctor.
Kopskin readjusted his latex gloves, and produded a chair and sat down; twiddling his thumbs nervously.
......."You wanted to ask... something Doc?" Heffield asked.
......."Read me like a book... well i suppose i better say." sighed Kopskin.
......."Am I gonna die? Tell me Doc!" Heffield said anxiously, sweating slightly.
......."Die? Oh no-no-no-no! You'll be fine."
......."Then whats wrong with me?"
......."Wrong? Well; your ribcage is a bit shattered, You have slight internal bleeding, all your organs are undamaged miraculously, and .......your cybernetic enhancements are at 95% efficiency. We've already done the surgery mind you, but you will be fine in a week or .......two."
Sighing heavily with relief, Heffield smiled.
......."Do tell me though... what happened? Im always curious as to what our... brethren of death have to tell of their misendeavours." .......questioned Kopskin.
......."Well... i remember a part of it..."
'I Was with my fireteam, part of the Huncifol 2nd Platoon, it was night-time, we were in a town called... Prios I think. Rubble everywhere from an air-strike, few buildings remained somewhat intact. There wern't even skeletons, anything organic was melted by the Nolperit Napalm. We were settling down for the night in an abandoned shack. Two of my squadmates had already fallen to sleep, but the marksman specialist, Giran, was setting up his sniper.
......."What you doing Girian?" I asked.
......."We need some food for tomorrow, so i may as well start now." He replied.
......."Nothing out there, unless you count metal or rocks as food. Napalm got everything."
......."I spotted something earlier, im sure of it."
......."Yeah? Well good luck with it - just use your muzzle-silencer, theres no need for an enemy to see the flash and sound and think .......'Oh hey! Thats one of my guys! Why dont i pop on down, have some tea, and say goodbye in a non-violent way!"
......."Yeah, yeah, no need to get all bitchy."
He set up his sniper on a window ledge, and a few minutes later, lo and behold - he shot and caught something. He went out to get his prey, and came back.
......."Just a bloody cat."
......."It'll make some good meat i guess, but is it diseased? Does the napalm give off stuff?"
......."How should i know? I don't make the stuff."
......."We'll have to ask Igav." I sighed, pointing at one of our squadmates, who was the only person who knew how to work the .......medical gear.
At the time, I couldn't sleep, so I went around and patrolled the area. Nothing was unblackened, you could literally feel the area melting, as if the napalm was rushing over you. Eventually, I found something covered in rocks, I slung my assualt rifle over my chest, and removed the debris. Upon further inspection, I assumed it was a heavy object, it had a thick shell of metal, possibly a safe i thought at the time. As I removed more debris, I found a timer. Counting down. From 2 seconds. All I recall there was saying "Oh Shi-" and then blackness.'
......."So it was a bomb?" Kopskin asked puzzled.
......."An undetonated one, must have been a defect. Literally no firepower in it at all, otherwise i'd have been disintegrated, and if I .......hadn't put that rifle around my chest... i'd have been mangled beyond repair." Heffield explained.
......."It could have been a bomb years ago, and the timer malfunctioned; and with such little power, it explains why the napalm didnt .......set it off. Besides, your rifle absorbed most of the shock."
......."Heh... you should be a detective Doc." teased Heffield.
......."And miss out on the stories? I quite like it here thank you." said the Doctor sternly.
......."Anything i should know?" said Heffield.
......."You'll have to pay a fine for a new Rifle... sign here please." informed Kopskin, showing a form.
Kopskin protruded a pen from a pocket, and offered it to the Sergeant. The Sergeant grabbed it weakly.
......."Thanks Doc." Heffield said, signing the form.
......."Now get some rest; your body needs it."
Kopskin left the room, leaving Heffield to his thoughts and pain, and to his sleep.
......."Really... 'Oh Shi-'? I Should have said 'Bugger.'..."
Notes:
One of the main problems with this is how ive represented the speech, ive kind of experiemented here, but in my opinion, thats the biggest flaw.
