Short Story Short Snippets

Discussion in 'The Writer's Corner' started by Cat, Oct 14, 2013.

  1. Cat

    Cat New Member

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    There are far and few women who'd consider doing this: standing far from a ballot, I rest my decision on one man -- who is not considered a candidate to win. My heart steady beats as the line diminishes; each person going up to drop their card and then leaving -- sometimes with a child or spouse. There, I stood looking at the empty hole where my card would be lost forever to me but count forever on a textbook. What am I doing? How am I going to stop? I reach my hand forth and drop; it sails down into the deep abyss of note cards, filled with illegible writing -- besides mine that speaks in big, bold words: Ronald W. Sharts.
     
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  2. KMilz

    KMilz You can change this now in User CP.

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    I appreciate the feeling you're trying to convey here, but I'm not understanding the implied severity of it all. It's not a big deal to vote for someone that won't win. Why did she feel like she needed to stop? Why was she questioning her actions? It seems like you've written the situation out in a way that paints it as substantially more dire than it actually is, and it left me feeling sort of confused at the end.

    Either way, thanks for sharing.
     
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  3. Cat

    Cat New Member

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    This is true. I was originally writing it in a sci-fi setting (where she was voting against the one-party government), but then I forgot the idea and finished it differently. I just wanted to post something while I sat at work (and avoid doing my homework).
    Thanks for the thoughts. Much love.
     
  4. Varine

    Varine And as the moon rises, we shall prepare for war

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    +833 / 11 / -1
    Is Sharts supposed to have the comical intention that I took away from it?
     
  5. Cat

    Cat New Member

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    Yep.
     
  6. thewrongvine

    thewrongvine The Evolved Panda Commandant Staff Member

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    Now, post it all.
    :3
     
  7. Varine

    Varine And as the moon rises, we shall prepare for war

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    I was led here under the impression of there being snippets, plural.
     
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  8. Halahan

    Halahan To die will be an awfully big adventure.

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    +53 / 0 / -0
    Interesting. But so short of a snippet that it's hard to get into it in any sort of way. And I agree with KMilz, she should not be nearly so confused and emotional about this, or if she should be, then it needs an explanation why.
     
  9. bocghegame

    bocghegame New Member

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    ình không hiểu lắm về vấn đề thông tin này
     

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