Short Story Contest 3

Discussion in 'The Writer's Corner' started by Ninva, May 16, 2009.

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  1. Genkora

    Genkora Frog blast the vent core!

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    it doesn't have to be a mystery, read the prompt closer.


    Your story must revolve around Murder or Murder Mystery. It can be from any era in time and can have any amount of characters in it. Good Luck

    so it could just be murder :D
     
  2. thewrongvine

    thewrongvine The Evolved Panda Commandant Staff Member

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    Yeah, but I'm not hard-blood killer, so if there's gonna' be murder in mine, there's gonna be mystery. Are you entering Genkora?

    The submission ends on May 31st, so does that mean we have until 11:59 PM to submit? :D

    ~Hai-Bye-Vine~
     
  3. Ninva

    Ninva Анна Ахматова

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    Submit and win. :p
     
  4. thewrongvine

    thewrongvine The Evolved Panda Commandant Staff Member

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    Weally? :D
    Okay, I'll write 1000 words that is just crap and submit and still win? ^_^

    ~Hai-Bye-Vine~
     
  5. Ninva

    Ninva Анна Ахматова

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    lol, yep. And you'll host the next contest! :D
     
  6. DogOfHavoc

    DogOfHavoc Future Tragedy

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    Any possible chance of pushing the deadline back? I have an idea for a story but I have finals Monday and Tuesday so I can't write it yet.
     
  7. Ninva

    Ninva Анна Ахматова

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    Sure, I'll push it back. I was just waiting for someone to request it.

    The new dead line is June 16th. Good luck.
     
  8. thewrongvine

    thewrongvine The Evolved Panda Commandant Staff Member

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    I second that, and third that, :D
    I'll be home from school Monday and Tuesday (I'm not allowed to go to school till Wednesday XD) so I'd have a LOT more time.

    Then again, if he can't do it, and I submit something today... I'll win! ^_^

    Off-Topic: Random, Ninva, what's your avatar picture of? It's been really bugging me for days because it seems familiar I think... D:<

    ~Hai-Bye-Vine~
     
  9. Ninva

    Ninva Анна Ахматова

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    My avatar is part of a scene from Across the Universe. I'm thinking about changing it soon.
     
  10. Miz

    Miz Administrator

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    Well because there is no contestants. I winz [​IMG]
    I would like my trophy and to thank the academy, my editor and all my fans. I love you all!

    But really, Deadline was pushed back so I hope to see more people enter in.

    Good Luck and may the writing gods be with you.
     
  11. Ninva

    Ninva Анна Ахматова

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    Hehe, writing gods. :D
     
  12. Genkora

    Genkora Frog blast the vent core!

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    Yeah, I'm entering, I'm also glad the deadline was pushed back. Mine is almost finished.
     
  13. thewrongvine

    thewrongvine The Evolved Panda Commandant Staff Member

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    YAY! I totally forgot about mine last night, :D
    I'll work on mine some time today or tomorrow...
    Can we have more submissions? I'm most likely to lose to Genkora anyway, ^^

    ~Hai-Bye-Vine~
     
  14. Genkora

    Genkora Frog blast the vent core!

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    don't count your chickens yet, I have never written anything like this. I'm not sure my particular style of writing would good for murder, but we will see.
     
  15. thewrongvine

    thewrongvine The Evolved Panda Commandant Staff Member

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    Erm... I'll do it later, rofl, came back to school after 7 days of being home and I have so much work to make up, finals to take, blah blah blah :D
    @Genkora, same here, :)

    ~Hai-Bye-Vine~
     
  16. Genkora

    Genkora Frog blast the vent core!

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    Well, here it is. The title is "Dying"

    Marilyn, a young woman, stood silently with her back the tree. There was something odd about her though. Her long black hair had lost its luster, her brilliant green eyes were not so brilliant anymore. She did not speak. She did not move, she was not smiling like she normally was. In fact, it did not even look as if she was breathing for that matter. No, Marilyn was not breathing. There was an obstruction in her throat stopping any air from getting to her lungs. Now I'm not a doctor, but perhaps it was the arrow in her neck, pinning her to the tree like a poster. There was a crimson liquid trickling down the tree and Marilyn's back, front, and down her chin from her mouth; it was not suiting her style. Her skin was pale, paler than normal. Upon closer inspection there appeared to be tear stains running down her cheeks, and there was blood all over her now lifeless hands. The shaft of the arrow sticking out of her throat was also covered in blood all the way to the fletching.

    A man walked up to Marilyn's body. His hand came down and groped the unharmed apple resting on her head. "Marilyn my dear, I'm so sorry you had to suffer, I meant to stab you in the forehead." He lifted the apple up to his lips after wiping off a small speck of blood and took a bite. "I remember how much you loved apples, ironic that you would die with one on your head, isn't it?" He took another bite. He stared into Marilyn's open eyes for a few seconds. "No, I suppose you are right. It is not ironic, merely coincidental."

    The man shook his head. "Marilyn, I know what you are going to say, don't bother. I know you were cheating on me. Don't say you are sorry, you have already done enough." The man walked around the tree a few times. "You know, Marilyn. I always wished you would love me the way you were supposed to. Who was I? Who the fuck was I?! Marilyn, are you listening to me? Damn it, why don't you ever listen to me, Marilyn?"

    The man finished the apple and threw it off into the grass. "I loved you, did you know that? I loved you and you broke my heart. You broke my heart, Marilyn. Broke it into little itty-bitty pieces. I deserved better from you. Why couldn't I have that!?" The man was yelling now. "I'm leaving Marilyn, I just wanted to tell you that. I need someone who loves me like I love them. It's over between us."



    The sun was setting. Jeremy stood at the oak, he stared into the eyes of his beloved Marilyn. He watched her hair slowly drift with the wind, as if it wanted to be alive. He fell to his knees. An eternity passed as he fell, it was unreal. He grasped her bloody hands in his, they were slippery. Her hands were so bloody, but there were no cuts on her hands. Jeremy stood up, still holding Marilyn's hands, he stared back into her eyes. His gaze moved down her tear stained cheeks and fell on the bloody arrow.

    “Merilyn,” tears began running down Jeremy's cheeks, “what have you gone through? What suffering have you had to endure because of me?”

    He noticed the arrow was soaked in her blood all the way to the fletching. That could only mean one thing.

    “So that's it. Please, Marilyn, I want your pain.” Jeremy let go of Marilyn's hands and again fell to his knees. “Would things have been different if I was there? At least watching you die, rather than than finding you dead. This isn't real, it can't be.”

    Who was Jeremy? “Am I a betrayer? Am I a slob? Am I lazy? How could this happen?” Was this a tragedy? Was Jeremy the Romeo and Marilyn his Juliet? She would awaken any second now, she would come back to life, it was a subject of misinformation.

    “But people don't come back in real life. This no tragedy.” He pulled the arrow out of Marilyn's throat and pointed it at his own. “This, this is a tragedy.” He thrust it inwards with all his might.

    He leaned into Marilyn's chest and spent his last moments crying.



    The bleeding, it hurts. I read stories that dying doesn't hurt, they were wrong, it hurts. He had stabbed an arrow deep into my throat, I couldn't fall, I couldn't sit, it hurt to try. So I stood.

    “Marilyn, I can't believe you. You deserve this.”

    The blood, it is everywhere, and it hurts, but I am sane. You would think that I would be in shock, but I am alright. I can feel every sting. Blood is running down my chest and back, I can feel the warm trickle that would soon be cold. I am getting tired, and I feel like I am going to lose my sanity. I sure hope Jeremy will not drown his life in sorrow.

    “I gave you everything you bitch!”

    The arrow, if I could pull it out I could sit down. If I could do that I could rest my legs. The arrow is so slippery, each time I try to pull it out I rub more and more blood down the shaft. But I have to keep trying, I just want to sit down. I just want to rest my legs. Oh god, please, just let me pull this arrow out, please god, please.

    “You betrayed me!”

    There is so much weight on this arrow, it hurts so horrendously, Tears are pouring down my cheeks. I can't stop it, the tears keep pouring and pouring and just wont stop. It's like my eyes have been struck by the same arrow, the tears flooding out the puncture. I keep pulling and jerking at the arrow, but it stays in. It won't come out, but I want to sit so badly, I want to rest my legs. I can't take it, I just want to die already, I want it to be over. But this fucking arrow will not come out.

    “This is what you get.”

    I am trying to ask why, but all that is coming out are gargled spurts of blood. I am trying to ask him to pull out the arrow, so I can sit, but I can only spit out a little blood. I can taste it in my mouth, it's lukewarm and sticky. It tastes like a million things mixed together, all balancing each other out into something completely bland and frivolous. I wish it was not so lukewarm and sticky, the taste I can stand, but it was so sticky in my mouth, and there was so much. Please, just kill me, don't let me suffer any longer. I can't see straight, blood is flowing out my mouth, dripping off my chin, it is staining me, I can't be beautiful for Jeremy like this.

    “What? What do you want now? You are so selfish.”

    He walks up, puts an apple on my head and laughs.

    “It really looks like I just missed with a bow right?”

    The sun is setting. My eyes drift around. I love the sunset, I wish I could turn my head, but it just won't do it. Maybe, just maybe I can get this arrow out, maybe I can see the sunset one last time and rest my legs. But my hands just slip along the shaft of the arrow on the blood. I don't get it, it's sticky in my mouth and throat, but slippery on the arrow. My vision drifts back to my killer. I am crying at the mercy of this man I thought I once loved. Please, please, just pull the arrow out and let me lay down, let me rest. I can't bare to stand any longer. My vision can no longer drift, more and more weight stacks on the arrow, and the pain is slowly drifting away. I wish I was not crying, I bet that makes him feel better.

    “You should have known, Marilyn.”

    The world is spinning, I am so dizzy. I can't cry anymore, I don't think there are any tears left. I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything, Jeremy. I'm sorry I couldn't live for you, I'm sorry you will have to see me dead, I'm sorry we couldn't grow old. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, Jeremy. I'm sorry I can't cry anymore, I'm sorry I can't have any children, I'm sorry we can't buy a home, I'm sorry our future has been destroyed. I love you, I love you so much.

    “This is the end.”

    Was he saying something? I don't know, the world is growing dark, I'm too tired. Everything is black.
     
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  17. thewrongvine

    thewrongvine The Evolved Panda Commandant Staff Member

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    :O Epic win there.

    Wait, so the ending point of view was the killer, right?

    Heh, the opening paragraph was nice, humored the death into the story in a casual way, :thup:

    I liked it.

    ~Hai-Bye-Vine~
     
  18. DogOfHavoc

    DogOfHavoc Future Tragedy

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    No, the ending point of view was Marilyn I think. Nice story.
     
  19. thewrongvine

    thewrongvine The Evolved Panda Commandant Staff Member

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    Then why would Marilyn say "Marilyn"? :D
    lols

    ~Hai-Bye-Vine~
     
  20. DogOfHavoc

    DogOfHavoc Future Tragedy

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    She doesn't. She hears the killer saying that to her as she dies.
     
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