Song, lyrics, eh

[Zakyath]

Some lyrics...

http://www.myspace.com/disguisedinblack

Shout

Spoiler

Get home at night
Take off my mask
All I was is gone
Take a look in the mirror
Ask myself
What have I become?

She's crying and crying
what can I do
when the lies doesn't match?
is it all like some kind of game?
I've lost it all,
I'm at square one again

Stare into the darkened sky
Watching distant stars collide
I shout
Where are you tonight?

I've bled all I can
I've said all I feel
what more do you want?
I've given you
everything I had
there's nothing left but me now

I give you my love
I give you my heart
it's right by your feet
it's only there for one reason
I just want to know
I gave it to you so you could step on it

Stare into the darkened sky
Watching distant stars collide
I shout
Where are you tonight?

Happy Birthday

Spoiler

What is it really to celebrate?
It's another year of tears, blood, and hate
You're just one step closer to your death
Discovering secrets of our world
From the heights of heaven to hell's depths

Happy birthday, you're falling in a spiral to the end of time
Closing in on death, let's celebrate your worthless life

Don’t you want to be somebody else?
Just to step away from yourself
When you feel numb, cold and like a fool
Your wish will soon come true
you’re one year closer till’ the day you’ll fall through

Happy birthday, you're falling in a spiral to the end of time
Closing in on death, let's celebrate your worthless life
Happy birthday, you're falling in a spiral to the end of time
Closing in on death, let's celebrate your worthless life

Oceanic Abyss

Spoiler

Echoes dying
Laughing strangers
Fade away
I've bled all I can
So the joy is gone
They leave
So much pain
Can't be described
So I keep it all inside
To be abandoned
To be forsaken
Is worse than death

This world never listens and God doesn't care
Something tells me I don't belong here

Just one heart
To break
Can't take it anymore
Just one step
To take
To fall, to disappear
I don't want to be
In it no more
Leave me alone
This stupid game
Is getting old
My love, I think I'm losing hold

This world never listens and God doesn't care
Something tells me I don't belong here

Don't look, don't look
Don't see me like this
I'm drowning in the blood red water
Into the oceanic abyss

I’m the one
Who put the stick
In your hand
All I did
Was to show
Who I really am
But I only
Trapped myself
Behind a wall of lies
it all resulted
in me, shut inside
with my silenced cries

This world never listens and God doesn't care
Something tells me I don't belong here

Don't look, don't look
Don't see me like this
I'm drowning in the blood red water
Into the oceanic abyss

 

[H34DhUnT3r]

Yupyup, felt like I wanted some feedback on this song I'm working on atm...

Moonlight blinds these tearful eyes once more
As all these flowers die, the feeling decides to do the same
Once more, divided we fall
As my heart ache, as you throw it away once more

Is there a way to forsake
All this love marred by hate?

Blood running from my hands
Perfect inc for love letters
Seems to me at now
The perfect way to say good bye
Blood running from my hands
Perfect inc for love letters
Seems to me at now
The perfect way to say good bye

As time slips by, as I cry when the only thing to do is to say good bye
When knowing that what we ever had is to die
Look deep into the mirror, try to find yourself in the cold glass
Then turn around, look into my eyes, what you see is what you lost

Is there a way to forsake
All this love marred by hate?

Blood running from my hands
Perfect inc for love letters
Seems to me at now
The perfect way to say good bye
Blood running from my hands
Perfect inc for love letters
Seems to me at now
The perfect way to say good bye

It's not quite done, I'm still not sure exactly how I want it to sound...

Well, as long as you don't know how it's going to sound i can't decide if i like it the text is kinda emo but that's okay i listen a lot of emo bands..

but i really want to hear what kind of melody you will use

Greetings,
H34DhUnT3r[NL]

H34DhUnT3r[NL]'s Custom War 3 TFT Maps

 

[Zakyath]

Nonono, not emo at all!

Most of the music I write is just like the music I listen to, rock/pop/postpunk, hard to find a good definition

I'm just not sure about how I should continue after this

I could upload a midiverision but as most of you know midi is kinda worthless

About the meaning of the song, for this time I didn't try being so deep, I began working on this while it was as worst between me and my gf

 

[AceHart]

"ink", not "inc".


> for this time I didn't try being so deep

It shows.

This thing has no depth, no sense, no meaning.
It's an insult to anything intelligent and a general shame for the writers guild.
And I certainly don't ever want to have to actually hear it.

In short, you wrote a top ten hit.

 

[Zakyath]

In what way is that constructively? Ah, whatever, that's probaly the best feedback I'll get Thanks, Ace ^^

 

[AceHart]

You didn't specifically ask for "constructive only". Would have been rather difficult...

Your job career probably lies elsewhere anyway.

 

[Zakyath]

Add:
Give only Constructive Criticism.
?

Well, maybe it doesn't. Or I'll just have to keep on trying. Heh. Whatever

 

[H34DhUnT3r]

> Nonono, not emo at all!

Dude, seriously this text and you are both emo, look at the text under your name: "They cut my wrist and watch me bleed" believe me, that's emo..

Anyway I don't agree with Acehart.. you never can say that the lyrics aren't good, because the music forms the meaning of the lyrics in the song

Greetings,
H34DhUnT3r[NL]

 

[Krys A Night]

It does come across as being emo, because in my experience, most emo people are like this in some way. And without having an idea of the music behind it, it's hard to judge the lyrics.

Right now, it seems like a song that I would only listen to if I was depressed and wanted depressing music.

 

[Hero]

It does come across as being emo, because in my experience, most emo people are like this in some way. And without having an idea of the music behind it, it's hard to judge the lyrics.

Right now, it seems like a song that I would only listen to if I was depressed and wanted depressing music.

I agree

 

[H34DhUnT3r]

That's what i say i need to hear the music..

 

[Zakyath]

> Nonono, not emo at all!

Dude, seriously this text and you are both emo, look at the text under your name: "They cut my wrist and watch me bleed" believe me, that's emo..

Anyway I don't agree with Acehart.. you never can say that the lyrics aren't good, because the music forms the meaning of the lyrics in the song

Greetings,
H34DhUnT3r[NL]

Okay, first I have to tell you that you're not emo because you cut yourself, if you seriously think that everyone that does are emo, well, you aren't so smart. "They cut my wrist and watch me bleed" is a line from the Horror Punk band Misfits' song "The Haunting". They're emo? Well, I didn't know that. I don't dress fashion core, I don't "act emo", and I don't listen to emotional hardcore. I have nothing against emos, but I can't say I'm one of them.

It does come across as being emo, because in my experience, most emo people are like this in some way. And without having an idea of the music behind it, it's hard to judge the lyrics.

Right now, it seems like a song that I would only listen to if I was depressed and wanted depressing music.

Are like what? Most teenagers feels depressed time from time, and how do you expect me to feel when me and my girlfriend are about to break up? I have to add for those who still wonder, I have never and will never cut myself. Stop wondering.

And what's really your definition of emo? I'm not sure if it'll fit with me. I'm a songwriter/singer in a rockband, in what way does that make me emo?

Maybe kinda stupid of me starting to discuss this, I have a feeling this is about to turn into a flaming thread, I'm going to do my best to don't. Anyways, I find it way more easy writing songs when I'm down, and this is the result. I have to agree with you that the rest of the songs make a great deal of the lyrics

 

[DM Cross]

Pft, Zak wrote it. I don't even have to read it, I know it's emo.



Thou shalt not judge a person over thee internet. It's the 11th commandment. I swear.

Seriously, people. C'mon, now.

Sorry, Zak, for the first few lines You know you're cool, man I just love to mess with ya sometimes ^.^

 

[AceHart]

> I just love to mess with ya sometimes

Careful though. He's emo.


Hm... yeah. Then again...

 

[Zakyath]

@Seth: Well, your first lines made me laugh, so

 

[H34DhUnT3r]

No, I don't think that every emo cuts himself, cuz like I told you I know a lot of emo's and not one cuts himself.

I'm only saying that you can roughly say that:
People who cuts themself -> big chance they are emo
Emo people -> probably don't cut themself, but there is a chance...

I'm sorry if you aren't emo when i said that you are. You just are just making the impression that you are emo, cuz I read the lyrics:
emo -> depressing (most of the time)
your lyrics -> depressing

So...
Your lyrics -> depressing -> emo

But if you say that you aren't emo then i believe you..

Well back to topic:
Am i gonna hear the music soon or..?

Greetings,
H34DhUnt3r[NL]

Edit: sry if my english isn't that good

 

[Zakyath]

Heh, well just don't think about the emo topic anymore, because someone is gonna start flaming soon

Well, I can upload both tabs and MIDI and there's a slight possibility I'll manage to get an mp3-file, just tell me what you want of these..

 

[H34DhUnT3r]

well,

I'm not a real musician so skip the tabs
MIDI is possible, but ofcourse i prefer Mp3, cuz that has the best quality

Greetings,
H34DhUnT3r[NL]

 

[Zakyath]

Heh ^^

Well, I haven't got it programmed on this comp but I'll UL it as fast as possible

Don't forget that I'm really not so good at writing music, but well, at least I'm trying x)

 

[Jimpy]

Theres nothing wrong with midi.

And I think the whole issue of cutting depends on context, I slit my wrist open while climbing a tree, and I'm not emo.