Song Writing

TrustFactor

New Member
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3
I tried to write a song.. I'm not so sure if I'm satisfied with it yet but I'd love for some opinions.
Thanks.

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[Untitled]

Days have gone by.
Theres still something there.
Theres a chemistry between us..
Even if only one can see.
Theres a chemistry between us..
Just waiting for us to see.

Wrong words may come toward us..
But who says we need them.
Wrong words come toward us..
But who says we need them.

I wish for just one more day.
To make each day a better time.
We have to fight for what we want.
We have to live for the end.

I know your still there.
I just haunt your dreams.
I need you like water in my lungs.
But we all know that.

Your not alone boy.
No, no, no, your not alone.
My boy your missing everything.
I wish for just one more day
To show you the love in this.

This is not the end
Ooooh no its not the end.

You'll soon realize boy..
You need me.
You'll need me.
Like water in your lungs.

------------------------------------------

here's another i tried to write..

[Goodbye Love]

It's time to breath
Time to see.
Time to be a new me.

With all the past regrets.
This is the least thing to worry about.
My heart is stuck with you but my mind is else where.

Ooooh..
You could never see a better me.
How much of a lose that is for you now.
For the first time in months I can breath.

I couldn't give you a reason to stay.
No, no reason for you today.
You should of listened to me.
It was wrong all along to stay.

You where my love that day.
But today that has changed.
You where my love that day.
But oooh no not today.

Ooooh..
You could never see a better me.
How much of a lose that is for you now.
For the first time in months I can breath.

You'll never know the true meaning.
The meaning to be loved and to love.
No you won't know
You won't know how.

To feel releaved.
To breath.
To be me.
 

elmstfreddie

The Finglonger
Reaction score
203
Music is poetry. Poetry is only a story if it does not have Rhythm...
I have no idea how you wrote this without some kinda Rhyme scheme :nuts:
Of all things to miss out on a song o_O


Wrong words may come toward us..
But who says we need them.
Wrong words come toward us..
But who says we need them.
You'll soon realize boy..
You need me.
You'll need me.
Like water in your lungs.

In my mind since in the first quote the whole may/will change thing happens in lines 1 and 3, then shouldn't it happen in the second one too?
Like, You'll need me, you'll soon realize boy, you need me, like water in your lungs. Maybe in that order.
 

Zakyath

Member
Reaction score
239
Nothing new, nothing special, nothing unique... It's enough quality to actually become something, but it isn't anything I would actually see some deep in
 

hortononon

"I give em the hip then I take it away"-Jim Thorpe
Reaction score
29
im no song expert but ive never heard one that doesnt rhyme. It would be a good poem if you took out the repeating no's and the ohhh's

is this your first song youve written?
 

Halahan

To die will be an awfully big adventure.
Reaction score
52
Not bad.

Horton, You've never heard a song that doesn't rhyme?
 

Mer_de_Noms

Certified Badfish
Reaction score
55
Nothing in these... struck me particularly, but considering the fact that they are songs, that doesn't mean a lot. I've read a lot of crap lyrics that sounded quite a bit better when they're put out loud to a melody. You just get a lot more emotion.

And not all songs have to rhyme. A lot of the time that keeps the song from sounding so robotic.


I know everyone says it, but if you love it, keep it up :)
 

MasterOfABCs

Unacceptable!
Reaction score
56
You should, in my opinion, give all moods a try.

You seem to enjoy a down-troden mood to your work.

Cool.

However, if you experiment out of that you may find,

That you're better at something else.

That can lead to faster progress and an increase of knowledge,

Much quicker than trying to learn what you want first.
 
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