Story Rewriter Thread

[Technomancer]

The Rules

First post is a single sentence.

Every successive post adds an idea or element to it.

No posting twice in a row.

The goal is to add as much as you can with as few words as possible.

Example:
1) We were standing in the rain.
2) We stood outside of the restaurant in the rain.
3) Two journalists stood outside of the restaurant in the pouring rain.
4) Two journalists stood outside of the restaurant in the pouring rain. One lit a cigar, and began speaking.
5) Four journalists stood outside of the restaurant in the pouring rain, deadly silent. One lit his cigar, and in a gruff voice said "This isn't the kind of thing I had imagined I'd be doing at fourty-eight."
etc.

I'll start.

Chicago is a hell of a town.

 

[sjakie]

It's one the hells of New York.

 

[Seb!]

what ? ^

 

[sjakie]

what ? ^

Oh cmon, you ruined the story already.
What I ment was, that New York has many hells, one of them is named Chicago, savvie?

 

[Seb!]

uhhhhh ok.

sorry for the interruption.

 

[Syndrome]

It's one the hells of New York, concealing dark secrets within it's streets.

 

[thewrongvine]

INTERRUPTION! Can we change the order of the words?

And I don't get that:

It is one the hells of New York?

Shouldn't it be: It is one of the hells of New York? Or am I missing something?
And isn't is "Savvy"? ... i feel stupid.

Here is my continuation, it might be wrong:
_________________________________________________________________

We rested in Chicago, one of the hells of New York that concealed many dark secrets within its streets.

 

[sjakie]

INTERRUPTION!
Shouldn't it be: It is one of the hells of New York? Or am I missing something?
And isn't is "Savvy"? ... i feel stupid.

INTERRUPTION!
1: Correct, I forgot to type another of.
2: Not correct, savvy/savvie doesnt really have a way to type it, as long as it sounds like savvie.

-------------------------------------------------------------
We rested in Chicago, one of the hells of New York that concealed many dark secrets within its streets. We were just passing a regular garabage bin when.....

 

[thewrongvine]

To the... savvy savvie thing.... ahhhhh.
_________________________________________________________________
We rested in Chicago, one of the hells of New York that concealed many dark secrets within its streets. We were just passing a regular garabage bin when | a swirling, black substance suddenly flew out... |

 

[The Helper]

Forum games are not allowed I'm afraid.

You should use Report Post on these - its up to the Writers Zone Mods if they want to allow it and Report Post will notify them. I have already reported this one.

 

[sjakie]

We rested in Chicago, one of the hells of New York that concealed many dark secrets within its streets. We were just passing a regular garabage bin when a swirling, black substance suddenly flew out and stole our lunch.

 

[thewrongvine]

We rested in Chicago, one of the hells of New York that concealed many dark secrets within its streets. We were just passing a regular garabage bin when a swirling, black substance suddenly flew out and stole our lunch. It started to cloud away but...

 

[sjakie]

We rested in Chicago, one of the hells of New York that concealed many dark secrets within its streets. We were just passing a regular garabage bin when a swirling, black substance suddenly flew out and stole our lunch. It started to cloud away but just before it totaly vanished we menaged to grab hold of the box with peanutbutter sandwitches.

 

[thewrongvine]

We rested in Chicago, one of the hells of New York that concealed many dark secrets within its streets. We were just passing a regular garabage bin when a swirling, black substance suddenly flew out and stole our lunch. It started to cloud away but just before it totaly vanished we menaged to grab hold of the box with peanutbutter sandwitches. Enraged by this, I climbed a nearby ladder and ripped off my hair. I was about too jump off...

 

[Syndrome]

We rested in Chicago, one of the hells of New York that concealed many dark secrets within its streets. We were just passing a regular garabage bin when a swirling, black substance suddenly flew out and stole our lunch. It started to cloud away but just before it totaly vanished we menaged to grab hold of the box with peanutbutter sandwitches. Enraged by this, I climbed a nearby ladder and ripped off my hair. I was about too jump off until a dark, ominous shadow covered me...

 

[sjakie]

We rested in Chicago, one of the hells of New York that concealed many dark secrets within its streets. We were just passing a regular garabage bin when a swirling, black substance suddenly flew out and stole our lunch. It started to cloud away but just before it totaly vanished we menaged to grab hold of the box with peanutbutter sandwitches. Enraged by this, I climbed a nearby ladder and ripped off my hair. I was about too jump off until a dark, ominous shadow covered me and pasted my hair back on.

 

[thewrongvine]

We rested in Chicago, one of the hells of New York that concealed many dark secrets within its streets. We were just passing a regular garabage bin when a swirling, black substance suddenly flew out and stole our lunch. It started to cloud away but just before it totaly vanished we menaged to grab hold of the box with peanutbutter sandwitches. Enraged by this, I climbed a nearby ladder and ripped off my hair. I was about to jump off when a dark, ominous shadow covered me and pasted my hair back on. I screeched loudly and dived into the garbage bin.

 

[sjakie]

We rested in Chicago, one of the hells of New York that concealed many dark secrets within its streets. We were just passing a regular garabage bin when a swirling, black substance suddenly flew out and stole our lunch. It started to cloud away but just before it totaly vanished we menaged to grab hold of the box with peanutbutter sandwitches. Enraged by this, I climbed a nearby ladder and ripped off my hair. I was about to jump off when a dark, ominous shadow covered me and pasted my hair back on. I screeched loudly and dived into the garbage bin. After 5 minutes, when I came out, I realised it was'nt my hair that was pasted on my head, but a moldy can of spaghetti.

 

[thewrongvine]

Interruption: Isn't it realize? not realise? i keep see realise.
_________________________________________________________________

We rested in Chicago, one of the hells of New York that concealed many dark secrets within its streets. We were just passing a regular garabage bin when a swirling, black substance suddenly flew out and stole our lunch. It started to cloud away but just before it totaly vanished we menaged to grab hold of the box with peanutbutter sandwitches. Enraged by this, I climbed a nearby ladder and ripped off my hair. I was about to jump off when a dark, ominous shadow covered me and pasted my hair back on. I screeched loudly and dived into the garbage bin. After 5 minutes, when I came out, I realised it wasn't my hair that was pasted on my head, but a moldy can of spaghetti. Mentally stained by all that had happened, I rushed out of town on a girl's bicycle.

 

[sjakie]

Interruption: You're right, I'm not very good at typing. U keep realised, I'll change it to realized.
_________________________________________________________________

We rested in Chicago, one of the hells of New York that concealed many dark secrets within its streets. We were just passing a regular garabage bin when a swirling, black substance suddenly flew out and stole our lunch. It started to cloud away but just before it totaly vanished we menaged to grab hold of the box with peanutbutter sandwitches. Enraged by this, I climbed a nearby ladder and ripped off my hair. I was about to jump off when a dark, ominous shadow covered me and pasted my hair back on. I screeched loudly and dived into the garbage bin. After 5 minutes, when I came out, I realized it wasn't my hair that was pasted on my head, but a moldy can of spaghetti. Mentally stained by all that had happened, I rushed out of town on a girl's bicycle. What I did not know, was that the little girl who owned the bicycle was hunting me with a knife, while riding on a iron plated machinegun mounted moose.

Please watch your language.

--SilverHawk