Synergy - Spread the Hatred

jonadrian619

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Reaction score
240
Synergy - Part 1: Spread the Hatred​

The bloody key that was depression
Opened the chest to contagion
Animosity spoke in perfect enunciation
A crowd orchestrating a revolt
Hatred's circulation not at fault

Sins of the past
Haunts the generation of the present
Lack of money paved way to resentment
And corrupted the will of the coherent
Anger morphed the human into hell-bent

From crowds to the masses, the contagion doesn't rest
The honest move into protest
Marching with the howling tempest
Misunderstanding and chaos two of the ruliest
One by one humanity transform into the foulest

Lost is my temper
A blaze of fury which was once ember
A chain suppressing contempt to sever
Unfinished business is now a never
For the disease turned me into a hater
My sanity is now a goner​

Synergy is a series of short poems all about the synergism of certain things I choose, like love, hatred and more.. The poem you've read above explains in poetic form how poverty and chaos work together to induce hatred..

Comments n' Criticism are open and very much appreciated! Thanks for reading!:thup:

-- Umaku iku yō ni -|- jonadrian619 --​
 

Krys A Night

Writer
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26
The rhyme scheme feels a little forced. You have each stanza rhyming together gives it a more lighthearted feel, though in the first stanza you ahve a different rhyme scheme than the others. If you break up the rhymes a bit more it would flow better and the lines would feel less forced.

I like what you're trying to do, but the rhymes take away from that.
 

jonadrian619

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Reaction score
240
2nd time I read my work in full.. I was always thinking about rhyming when I wrote this poem. The 1st one sounded better compared to the others.

I'll do better in part 2. Thanks!

-- Umaku iku yō ni -|- jonadrian619 --​
 
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