The Chronicles of Madenu: Creation of Orelius

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jonadrian619

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:rolleyes: This story is a newly created story based on medieval legends and wars, and also folklore, but much more fantastic than the legends.. Have fun reading

NOTE: This story must be understod from the introduction to the last chapter of "Creation of Orelius" Next Part is "The Middle Ages"

COMMENTS:
This is the story ive been planning to make since I was an 11 year old boy and I loved to watch war movies like Gladiator, LOTR or Star Wars. This story is all about the birth of war and about Madenu, the greatest of all Lithonosian emperors which led to the extinction of the evil Arachides for all time. A story must be read and understood to enjoy it. If you dont understand this story then you cant enjoy this one.. George Lucas made all star wars movies and even helped the authors make books about star wars. This story wil be as creative as of star wars..

This is not a story that children will fuly understand, only for adults and teens can this story be undrstood easily.

Introduction

Long ago, tens of thousands of long ages from today, the Three Gods of Creation created a mystical planet in the outer rim of the Garnth Galaxy, the third largest galaxy in the whole universe. The planet is 8 times more larger than our earth. There the gods created three vast and mystical continents separated from vast oceans far deeper than the deepest parts of our Earth. There were huge mountains, vast open plains to wage war and the gods also created deep forests home to more than a hundred thousand species of animals in it. They also created a select few creatures wiser than humans, but stronger than any human living in the planet. The humans lived in another continent while the mystic creatures lived in another continent that is the largest of the three. The continent of Arctica was the smallest but the most desolate and the coldest of all the continents, located in the planet' s polar caps. Then the gods' last creation was the kingdoms of each race, whether good or evil, for the gods know that if the races had no kingdom to live with, their kind will be crushed easily by their enemies. The gods gave each race gifts and power and freedom, except knowledge. Then the gods finally gave a strong commandment to each race that exsists: "Each race shall never worship the rival gods of the Three Gods of Creation". For if they worship those gods, the world will be torn apart by chaos by the Seven Gods of Evil. The gods abandoned the planet and named it at last planet Orelius. Then the gods went away from the galaxy in peace to tend for other galaxies.

Before the gods named the planet, they named the three continents by size:
Largest - Lithonosis
Second Largest - Ethnosia
Smallest - Arctica

Each race tinkers to explore their lands. But one race had the power to expand their kingdoms the quickest and can develop knowledge, and can learn faster than humans. They were the Lithonosians, a race of powerful creatures that can be as skillful as humans and can make even fare more advanced technology for use in battles. Lithonosians are ant-like creatures with four hands and two large feet to show their finesse in the Lithonosian arts of war given by one of the three gods. Lithonosians often stand and seldom walk like our ants. They are very crafty and can even create hollow cities called Lithocities, cities built inside a huge mountain with an enter/exit gate at the base of the mountain. Also they can build their largest cities called Lithokingdoms or cities build on the surface of a mountain. They were the Lithonosians' greatest cities and assets.

Lithonosis is the most mountainous continent of Orelius and also containing the widest grass plains and the tallest mountains. There was no war between the races... until 5 ages or 22,000 years later since creation. The races the Gods created are not equally created, for each race must have unique capabilities and powers, also with advantages and weaknesses to be much more unique than others.

Lithonosians - A crafty race that looks like Ant-Humanoids that can fight with up to four melee weapons with four arms for destructive power. Lithonosians depend on the high landforms and most especially Forests for their life, economy and even their religion as lithonosians. Lithonius, the second God of Creation and god of Land, created mainly Lithonosians and Lithonius is the wisest god of all the three. Lithonosians are nature-friendly creatures. They can reach up to 9 feet in height and almost a huge amount of strength in their body. Lithonosians are immune to almost all magic, making them more powerful. They are very creative and can also have a lifespan of 125,000 years, making them the race that has the second longest lifespan, with the Arachides as the first. Emperors rule their race and Emperors are so powerful that he can rule and control all Lithonosian-touched objects like territories, countries and even a whole continent. Lithonosians advance quickly in technology, quicker than the rest.

Arachides - A strong race with a body structure that of a spider only it has a Scorpion tail as the gods created. They are very strong and it takes 5 Lithonosians to take one Arachide down and kill it. Arachides build "Tunnel Chambers" as their cities and they build Colonies as their Capital Base. Arachides are severly powerful and can produce more quickly than Lithonosian women. Unlike lithonosians where they give birth instantly Arachides lay eggs and nurture it until maturity. Arachides also have 2 hands. One for the sword and one for the Tower Shield. Arachides are less crafty than lithonisians and slowly advance in technology. Arachides are ruled by leaders called Doomlords which have the capability to live more than 1 million years and can even rule the whole of Orelius. The race excels in also spinning webs that destroy their enemies. An arachide can live as long as 223,500 years, making it the longest lifespan of all races.

Humans - A common race but seldom makes war with other races. Humans are quite fragile and are useless against the mighty Lithonosians or Arachides. Humans live in cities in the continent of Ethnosia, a more peaceful continent covered in vast plains and wide rivers. Humans also are divided into factions. The Snowwarrior faction is a group of human soldiers in the colder parts of Ethnosia. The Ethnosian Vanguard are the humans that build cities to defend central Ethnosia where there are only plains and lacking mountains, which gives more field of view. Humans are vigilant and keep guard of their territory. Their rivals are the Tuphenites just east of ethnosia. Humans cannot use magic in the first ages. Humans can live up to 200 years, the shortest of all lifespans of other races. Humans can reach heights of only 4-6 feet in height.

Tuphenites - The only race that has the ability to fly. Like Arachides, Tuphenites lay eggs and nurture them to maturity. Tuphenites are crafty but not as crafty as lithonosians. Tuphenites live in the west of Ethnosia but moved to the eastern side due to powerful winds that can blow them off. They build cities called Tuphenite Caverns inside mountains or beneath plains. Since then, the Tuphenites began disturbing the humans. Tuphenites attack in the air but they are very vulnerable to land and can be easily killed by snipers. Tuphenites live only up to 600 years. They fly fast but their weight is light. Their height only reaches up to 5 feet but their wingspan can reach up to 9 feet which makes them fly up to an altitude of 8,000 feet, making their powerful air-raids inevitable.

Barnothides - A race like a standing beetle. They can talk like humans and can even build smaller lithocities. Barnothides are masters of imitation since they imitate to succeed. The Arachides finally made the Barnothides as their powerful ally in the first war of Orelius. They are the greatest enemy of the Elves and also the fastest to produce, making a female produce up to 34 barnothides a month. But they live only up to 250 years and are very fragile than humans. They only have a height of 4-4.5 feet and only depend on basic weapons of their allies to win a war.

Elves - Wise creatures not too powerful but they can use magic. Elves excel in using bows and arrows and often live in top of trees to prevent grievous wars. They seldom wage war until their army is complete. Elves live in the southern tip of Ethnosia, called Manowood, a dense forest with a thick canopy and a lot of elves. Elves use only common magic such as Ice or Fire, since the gods only limited the use of magic to each race. Only wizards use all kinds of magic. They never waged war with the Arachides until in the 9532th age of Orelius. Elves are not that crafty but they are the closest allies of the Lithonosians, for elves cannot easily be corrupted by evil. Elves stand as tall as 6 feet in height and most elves are women. They can live up to 22,000 years of lifespan, 7 times much shorter than lithonosian lifespan.

Dwarves - A race of strong dwarven people and miners. They are masters of mining and are more independent than Arachides, but not more than the lithonosians. Dwarves only excel in mining and melee battles. They often wield axes or halberds used for short battles that last up to 3 days. Dwarves live only up to 400 years. Dwarves help the Humans and Elves often and they help for the offense against the Tuphenites which fly to raid their cities. Dwarves can reach heights up to 3-4 feet in height.


These races the Gods created are not equally created as said above. These races now have something in common after thousands of ages.... War.


Chapter 1: The First Rebellion and the First War

The Lithonosian's capital city of Piocese was the largest known city in the 5th age to the middle ages. The lithonosians used it as their home base and their greatest asset for war. Piocese even has a Lithocity at the base of the mountain where all of their resources were processed to many weapons or their food, like a miscellaneous factory. The eastern summit is Piocese's location. Then the Lithonosians created the 1st Legion to secure their kingdom and expand it. Expansion of their kingdom was long and hard. And one day in the month of April as their summer, they decided that they should have a ruler for their race. Their rulers are called Emperors since their land was too large to maintain. Thrak'Feroth was their first emperor. He is a business-minded lithonosian with government skills. After 2 years the Emperor added a Prince and a Royal Guard for the Royal Family to build up. Prince Heliloth was the first with the Emperor's cousin Corelli as the First Royal Guard in lithonosian history. After a few years there was an unknown strife between the lithonosians and a mystic race, called the Arachides, the first enemy of the lithonosians. The Arachides just made a new territorial kingdom just west of Lithonosis. Arachides are like Spiders with Scorpion tails for better and contagious defense. Arachides started building territories just 5 years ago. This is now considered as the first Rebellion between races.

The Doomlord Entanious worshipped the Gods of Evil, the greatest enemy of the Gods of Creation. Entanious was the most evil of all creatures until the middle ages took place. Entanious then made a master army that even the Gods of Creation did not foresaw before the birth of Orelius. The master army crushed many of the lithonosian cities under Emperor Thrak'Feroth. But there was one army that they cannot crush, the 1st lithonosian Legion. The legion prepared for the arrival of Entanious' army. The legion now waged the very first war in Orelius' history.

"So, the Arachides are our first enemy" said the emperor. "We shall not lose this war. Defeat is a nightmare that haunts us tomorrow, so do not falter. The gods have given us the power to wage war and to make victory. We will not lose the chance to win this war". The Emperor's words toughened the hearts of a thousand lithonosian soldiers, increasing determination to achieve victory. Most lithonosians were still faint hearted but ready for the battle.

After a few hours of preparation, in the horizon comes the Arachides and Entanious itself. The lithonosians were afraid of Entanious and his large army of Arachides, each bearing impalers, halberds and tough shields made of adamant and steel. "Heliloth, my son, you must help the lithonosians to win this war. Fight in the battlefield. I sense your will is strong" said the emperor. These words made Prince Heliloth come towards the central flank of the legion. The legion only had 100,150 troops and the arachides had almost the same number which is 100,000. Then in the midst of the plains the Lithonosians and Arachides clashed towards war. Hours of sword-clashing, bow-firing, cannon-shooting things decreased the soldiers of each army one by one. Until the arachide army only had 1000 troops, Entanious ordered a retreat to his Arachides.

"Retreat, this invasion was a faliure. You time will come lithonosians, After a few years you will experience the full power of Evil itself." With a few troops Entanious fled and came back to his territories. The Emperor got worried after the war but still victurious. The Emperor realized that Entanious' words was indeed true. The greatest battle of the ancient ages is about to begin....

To Be Continued for readers...
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This story deserves to being understood by readers, man... I've worked on this story from start to finish... If you wanna make replies, plz make your replies shorter. Make some comments or advices, feed backs. You must save some space for me to make the other chapterz of "Creation of Orelius" sothat people will not have to click page 2 when in an errand to reading the storyz...;)
 

Curuinor

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The difference between Tolkien and you, I would guess, is that you are not a linguisticss professor. Deep backstories are revealed throughout the book, in little tidbits. There is no way that the mind of an 11-year-old can create a story that abides with the story the mind of a whatever-your-age-is-year-old creates. Unless, maybe, you're twelve.
 

Halahan

To die will be an awfully big adventure.
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Not tooo original. All the races are either the 3 super-common fantasy races or really big bugs...
Work on the flow... its more of an essay-ish history then story. Tolkien did that but made it into a story.
You repeat vast like 8 times in the beginning, try to think of some more words. ;)
You tried to make apprehension about the battle with the emperors words and the soldiers hearts toughening, but it didn't really work because its moer in the essay format.
Type the story up in word and then do spell check, will help a lot ;)
Still, good.

Also, maybe try to make the names that share the same subject or race share spelling or sound. Pretty confusing.
 

jonadrian619

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Thanks for the heads up. The next chapter is short but better.

It's an elementary student story based from my classmates who're good storymakers (sort of). I just developed their made-story since the original story is a bit mediocre.

I made humans dwarves and elves, the 3 supercommon fantasy races that appear in most storys becuz most readers like these races ALL the time, im gonna make some strange events concerning humans elves dwarves and lithonosians in the future chapters....
 

jonadrian619

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This time no essay-ish elements in the chapters higher than 1........

The Introduction and chapter 1 had to be in essay form to get a clearer understanding of the story, it's different. The more farther you read, the lesser essay elements exist in a chapter.....
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This chapter is all about the New Order and a Supreme Minister who will help make a massive and long chain reaction to stop the Arachides from giving the lithonosians pain and death.... this chapter and every chapter above 2 are now created by me alone,,,
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Chapter 2: The New Order

Thrak'Feroth, having seen the aftermath of the first war, established more and more territories towards the west, east and even in the northern regions, except in the Far West of lithonosis. The emperor then created and established a new order of the lithonosians called the Prime Council. Ruled by Supreme Ministers, the crafty lithonisian type, the Prime Council is a testament to the neverending development of the lithonosian race. As the more progress the lithonosians make, the more enemies and the more allies they make. The Arachides, now returned from years of idleness caused by the loss of Entanious' battle in the first war.

The Prime Council is commonly called 'The New Order' in these ancient times of the sixth age. The Council's objective is to watch over the lithonosians. They can even wage war with the Emperor's command.

The city of Piocese itself was the place where the Council Palace can stand. Piocese became a gothic, bustling metropolis after thousands of years since the First War.

Menedil was the name of the Supreme Minister of the Prime Council. Crafty but kind, he always is busy and does prefer to be in groups to maintain the council. Suddenly, in a meeting the Emperor Thrak'Feroth joinedthe meeting, and after, made a conversation to Menedil personally.

"You are wise, and always you never let yourself down." said Thrak'Feroth, now at the age of twenty-one thousand years old. "But, always remember that being a Supreme Minister requires patience and knowledge. Know what I said after you were hailed as a minister. "Leaders must not be arrogant. Their arrogance will be their undoing."

Menedil carefully listened to him one time in the night, when people are about to sleep. The winds blew coldly over Piocese's stone skyscrapers and halls made of olden stone. For a while, Menedil thinks of new but good plans to overthrow Entanious in a brutal way.

The next morning, outside the halls of the Council Palace, Menedil met the Emperor once again in the palace courtyard. "He's making negotiations again. I wonder what he's up to", himself saying.

"Exploration is what we lack now." the emperor said in front of fifteen men and the Royal Guard himself. "We must search for the other continent just beyond the Far West. I will give you five years to make the best equipment possible in assisting your journey towards the continent of Ethnosia and within that five years all of you will be trained as explorers"

"Ethnosia, strange, but I knew about that continent rumoured to have wide plains and long beaches off it's coasts. It is also where some unknown races live and dwell." said a man in front of the emperor.

The New Order goes farther and farther with every year and age that passes. Until at one time where it's progress came to a halt due to a long rivalry into some unknown race.....

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The New Order had really many probs concerning Entanious and the Arachides. This Chapter is just discussing the origin and ways of the New Order. Essay form is still possible...better think the earlier chapters as Essay-ish chapters, in the future chapters essay is no longer a problem....
 

jonadrian619

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Chapter 3 now begins, much much more longer and lesser essay-ish elements than that of previous chapters... It all talks about the fifteen messengers and their training, you know,,, the fifteen men that the Emperor was talking with before the chapter 2 ended...
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Chapter 3: The Trek Begins

"You must explore the continent and you should find a powerful ally that I foresaw that night in a dream. That vision might be true. I saw, people, pinkskinned with simple clothes living in Ethnosia." said the Emperor.

"We will do as you request, and are you sure those 'pinkskins' aren't hostile?". said the messenger. "No, they were not. They could prove to be powerful allies against Entanious and his new breed of Arachide warriors. You messengers must work and do anything with haste, for the hour of doom comes closer every step of the way.."

The messengers then build a laboratory inside the lithocity of Piocese, just at the border of the capital, where the mountains were steep and high. They built the most technological and sophisticated gadget of the ancient ages with the help of Derman, a wise lithonosian professor teaching students in the field of technology.

They even built a telescope as powerful as an eagle seeing a rat twenty miles away as more clearer than normal human vision. To the lithonosians, this telescope was the most sophisticated gadget the messengers will use for their trek towards Ethnosia.

Within years of training for exploration and resistance to natural side effects like frostbites, diseases or injuries, the messengers took their final test; to explore the whole Gunglami forest just west if Piocese. Gunglami is much wider than Piocese, so the messengers readied for their equipment and even doing teamwork and coordination for much better exploration. It will be brutal. There are Balverines inside the forest, and they could cause lycantrophy to anyone even a lithonosian. The other creatures are Forest Worms and Lithonosian bandits in the main road.

They now begun exploring. The exploration was brutal but successful, for it was made a law that if a trained explorer dies in the final training, the whole group could never explore until they have acheived the previous number of explorers in the group before others died. Nobody died in the exploration. None injured and only a few encounters of Balverines through the use of stealth.

Now the messengers are ready to begin their exploration trek to Ethnosia. But before that, Thrak'Feroth gave them a pendant and a medal as a sign of acheivement. And the Emperor's guards gave them longswords, huge halberds and powerful crossbows just in case they've encountered a powerful beast.

The messengers, or now what locals called 'Explorers', set out to the Far West. While they were going towards the coasts of the Far West they saw a huge colony five miles away, filled with Arachides but with the absence of Entanious.

It was only now that the explorers realized that the Arachides were establishing territories in the West, to attack the lithonosians and take over. They did not know where the Arachides really came from or what place did they originally dwell since the Three Gods created them.

Their armies were so vast that it will take half a million lithonosians to take them down. The doom of the lithonosians has finally come just like what Thrak'Feroth said last time. With vauge fear, the explorers continued their journey and were walking stealthily from the enemy territory and towards the Far West's coasts.

At last, after a weary night and the sun has risen, they saw the coast of the Far West. Between it are small mountain ranges. The explorers made their way towards the coast. Luckily, there was a forest just a few meters away from their position.

"A forest. We will be able to cut down trees in the edge of the forest for our new ship to be built." a young explorer said.

"Hmm, there is still one problem, we do not have canvas or clothing to build the sails for the ship to be maneuvered. Hah.. I've got an idea!!" said the head of the group, Arnath.

"Before I've started training, the professor Derman had a paper, or some.. schematics for a ship engine that can be run in our hands. Like the paddle of a basic boat, the engine must be controlled in order for the ship to be moved. Better yet, i've got the whole shematics in my backpack.. Derman gave me this to build a boat that has no sail..."

"A really advanced way of technology, how wise and crafty we are!" said an explorer. "Whatever we might build, the ship must run until we land in Ethnosia, like a vacation." the explorer suddenly replied

"Do not be too hasty and arrogant, there is still time before the Arachides will besiege Piocese, maybe in many months. We must be patient." said Arnath.

Arnath then gave orders to seven explorers to go to the forest and cut wood, and so they did. Once the seven came back they've carried logs in their backs, waiting for further orders.

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Mostly discussing about the exploration between Piocese and the Far West. Just the beginning. the next chapter will tell abt. their newly built ship, and how it was built...
 

jonadrian619

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Chapter 4 discusses about their newly built ship called the lusiss, a ship that will help them travel between the continents. Far shorter.... you'll get the shorter straw
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Chapter 4: The Lusiss Mothership

"I'm so tired, these logs seem to give my spine some pain!" said one of the seven log carriers. "Well, you must be persevere. The Lusiss mothership requires physical teamwork and coordination to be built, especially my Captain's cabin to be done." Arnath said.

The next ten minutes, they began the building of the Lusiss, starting at the bottom, to the inner rooms, cabins, Captain's Cabin, Catapults, Mini-Tavern, Toilets, and finally the two double engines in Derman's ship schematics. The building of Lusiss took almost a week and a lot of sacrifice has been given by the explorers. The ship first stood in the coasts of the Far West, far from Arachide territory, to make their trek more safer.

"The ship is done. I wish a politician came here and congratulated us". an explorer said. "Congratulations from politicians is no longer needed, my friend. Only congratulate youselves. Now is the time to concentrate on the ship's safety. This ship must be protected from any oceanic threat; especially Pirates. Pirates make my stomach turn. If this ship is besieged and destroyed, Lithonosia and our people will be doomed for all time!"

The first of the explorers came aboard to Lusiss, and Arnath was the captain. Before they move the ship, they prayed to the gods to invoke luck and blessing to the explorers. Arnath then used five strong explorers to run the engines and a few explorers to watch over the horizon. The ship now moved and ready and waiting for the next great journey beyond Lithonosis.

The ship worked, and it's engines and explorers were in shape. Arnath maneuvering the ship. He even chose a chef for the Tavern so that catched fish will be cooked and they'll eat. The water waves of the afternoon were not too strong, giving Arnath and his crew time to maintain the ship's safety.
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Only short chapter about their mothership....
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jonadrian619

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Chapter 5: Regime Change
Six days after the building of Lusiss, March 24, in the fields of Piocese...


The townsfolk of Piocese are unaware that an army of Arachides will strike the city directly with the return of Entanious. But there was a major problem. The emperor got ill, and the healers tried everything they could to heal the aged emperor from his sickness. He had fever and a paralyzed leg. The healers did not know Thrak'Feroth's illness. The emperor was in vain of his illness.

The healers checked his body for injuries and was moved to the Palace of Healing of the western Piocese wall where Thrak'Feroth could be saved. The healers searched for the body, and the paralyzed leg too. What they saw was different. The emperor had an injury in the paralyzed leg. The emperor inherited the injury in the First War when he was cut by an Arachide tail. The poison takes an age to take place. The healers did not see the disease in any of the pages of the Lore of Medicine. The healers could only do nothing but watch him dying. Then his son, the Prince Heliloth, came to the Palace and cried for him and prayed for him too. Also, the Supreme Minister Menedil came, even the royal guard and some townsfolk came.

The emperor said these words: "My time has finally come. Heliloth, you shall be my heir and the protector of our land.... Menedil.. you shall enforce the New Order..... Always remember, that you, Heliloth, will rule our race well and bring forth... the end of the Arachides..."
"And the fifteen messengers I've sent, do..your best to protect them.....alll"

After he said these words, he himself expired.

One week later...

Heliloth son of Thrak'Feroth was considered as one of the Candidates for the position of Emperor. The other candidate, Thrak'Silas. The voting begins with huge applause from the crowds, and the dropping of Papyrus coupons made from the forest to make sure what box has the most number of votes. When the Vote Boxes were checked, the main voting began. With the count of coupons in the Vote Box of Heliloth, Heliloth is now known as the Emperor of the lithonosian race. The people around him are doing homage and hailing him, respecting him and ever forseing him as a good emperor and a conjurer of war against the Arachides. Entanious was still driving his Arachide brood and army to expand their territories and invade Piocese which lies between two mountains.

Heliloth established the 8th Legion and he created a fortress just west of Piocese, in the open plains. The Emperor was not yet proud, and the absence of pride just weakened him a little bit, for he knew that the doom of their time will come. Heliloth, with the help of Menedil, made the eight-towered Octacademy, the main palace of the lithonosian's main military source and management. Everyday, thousands more villagers joined the Academy to train themselves as warriord to defend their race. Heliloth then sent eight messengers throughout Piocese and the inner lithocity.

The messengers are supposed to say these: "I am calling Attention to all villagers, peasants, soldiers and other people in this city. The Arachidian strikeback will come soon. The Emperor and the rest of the senators and leaders suggest that you take foods and some medicine and weapons in case of a casualty or problem in the war. Starting on Monday, three days from now, you should stay inside your dwellings and try to lessen the legnth of your time outside your homes."

People all over the city heeded the warning, and the food factory for meat was crowded. Heliloth knows this crisis and quickly he sends his soldiers to build food tents within Piocese to quicken the pace. It wasn't too late, for now....

"Five thousand soldiers, just half a day. It will not be enough. There are many brave men and even women here and they must be trained. Five thousand will not be enough to drive the Arachides back..." Menedil said, still a young leader of the Council. Menedil has a brother, Orneil. Orneil worked as a general for the 7th Legion, which still is in the process of increasing it's troops.Chapter 5: Regime Change

Six days after the building of Lusiss, March 24, in the fields of Piocese...


The townsfolk of Piocese are unaware that an army of Arachides will strike the city directly with the return of Entanious. But there was a major problem. The emperor got ill, and the healers tried everything they could to heal the aged emperor from his sickness. He had fever and a paralyzed leg. The healers did not know Thrak'Feroth's illness. The emperor was in vain of his illness.

The healers checked his body for injuries and was moved to the Palace of Healing of the western Piocese wall where Thrak'Feroth could be saved. The healers searched for the body, and the paralyzed leg too. What they saw was different. The emperor had an injury in the paralyzed leg. The emperor inherited the injury in the First War when he was cut by an Arachide tail. The poison takes an age to take place. The healers did not see the disease in any of the pages of the Lore of Medicine. The healers could only do nothing but watch him dying. Then his son, the Prince Heliloth, came to the Palace and cried for him and prayed for him too. Also, the Supreme Minister Menedil came, even the royal guard and some townsfolk came.

The emperor said these words: "My time has finally come. Heliloth, you shall be my heir and the protector of our land.... Menedil.. you shall enforce the New Order..... Always remember, that you, Heliloth, will rule our race well and bring forth... the end of the Arachides..."
"And the fifteen messengers I've sent, do..your best to protect them.....alll"

After he said these words, he himself expired.

One week later...

Heliloth son of Thrak'Feroth was considered as one of the Candidates for the position of Emperor. The other candidate, Thrak'Silas. The voting begins with huge applause from the crowds, and the dropping of Papyrus coupons made from the forest to make sure what box has the most number of votes. When the Vote Boxes were checked, the main voting began. With the count of coupons in the Vote Box of Heliloth, Heliloth is now known as the Emperor of the lithonosian race. The people around him are doing homage and hailing him, respecting him and ever forseing him as a good emperor and a conjurer of war against the Arachides. Entanious was still driving his Arachide brood and army to expand their territories and invade Piocese which lies between two mountains.

Heliloth established the 8th Legion and he created a fortress just west of Piocese, in the open plains. The Emperor was not yet proud, and the absence of pride just weakened him a little bit, for he knew that the doom of their time will come. Heliloth, with the help of Menedil, made the eight-towered Octacademy, the main palace of the lithonosian's main military source and management. Everyday, thousands more villagers joined the Academy to train themselves as warriord to defend their race. Heliloth then sent eight messengers throughout Piocese and the inner lithocity.

The messengers are supposed to say these: "I am calling Attention to all villagers, peasants, soldiers and other people in this city. The Arachidian strikeback will come soon. The Emperor and the rest of the senators and leaders suggest that you take foods and some medicine and weapons in case of a casualty or problem in the war. Starting on Monday, three days from now, you should stay inside your dwellings and try to lessen the legnth of your time outside your homes."

People all over the city heeded the warning, and the food factory for meat was crowded. Heliloth knows this crisis and quickly he sends his soldiers to build food tents within Piocese to quicken the pace. It wasn't too late, for now....

"Five thousand soldiers, just half a day. It will not be enough. There are many brave men and even women here and they must be trained. Five thousand will not be enough to drive the Arachides back..." Menedil said, still a young leader of the Council. Menedil has a brother, Orneil. Orneil worked as a general for the 7th Legion, which still is in the process of increasing it's troops.
 

XXXconanXXX

Cocktails anyone?
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284
Loosen up your writing style a bit. It feels too stiff, and I can't shake the feeling I'm reading a history book.

Other than that, I like the setting and it seems to be moving along at a good pace.
 

jonadrian619

-___-
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240
Thanks for the advice. I'll improve the next chapters especially the opening of the next part "The Middle Ages".

When somethings wrong in a specific part of the story i'll gladly expect some help... When you want some phrases or paragraphs to be changed i'll change it, besides the phrases are stiff. I'll supply a map in the next chapter...
 
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