The Chronicles of Night and Day

Ninva

Анна Ахматова
When I was starting my writing career, I started publishing poems. They weren't very good, but I continued anyways. Then after awhile I said I was going to write songs. I even joined a band at that point of my life.
But soon the band faded like millions of others, so that disappointed me. At that stage of my life I figured that poems weren't exactly for me, so I started writing short stories and chapter books once again. I gotta to admit, I write better stories than poems. Maybe you're different on the this subject, but I've learned many things these past years writing. Never say one thing a do another, also songs need music to them. If you introduce your poetry as a song people are going to want to see a music sheet.
 

Miz

Administrator
Well all my Friends do music
^^ So I kinda got most of that taken care of
Also when I write i usually listen to some kind of music
 

Ninva

Анна Ахматова
That used to be my own way of writing, but it would be music that was in my head. I wouldn't turn on the radio to jam out to a popular song about love and romance as I wrote a poem about death and despair (I made a funny).
No, you won't have your friend with you forever, and you won't have all the time in the world to learn how to read/write music if you ever wanted to. Sadly, I believe it's too late for me, but I don't really care at this time anymore. I know my talents in life, and I cling to them.
 

Zakyath

Member
I gotta admit I love your thoughts behind The Chronicles of Night and Day, if I'm right about your thoughts behind it.

Though, some parts are just messy and making me surprised when reading them, like that thing about a blank book that's full after life. It's just as interesting as me saying "I was hungry, then I ate a pancake. Now I'm not hungry anymore." Get it? You're a good writer but seems to push it a little to much. I'd guess you're trying too hard. Well, what do I know? It's your poems. Not mine.
 

Miz

Administrator
What I'm saying is ever major event that happens is written down
Which is true...
Just its not all in the same book

So my Journal is true
 

Zakyath

Member
Yes, you're right, but it's still uninteresting. I know you can write. Try to do it some other way where it sounds better.
 

Zakyath

Member
Because you change your two worst written lines? Hardly. Ask people what's the better parts of your poems and what's the worse parts.
 

Miz

Administrator
Slients
The Mighty Mizuio-Ken has spoken!

I may edit it but I'm not agreeing to anything
Just tell me your 2 lines... that bother you
 

Zakyath

Member
"When we enter this World our book is blank
When we leave this World our book is full"

The message is nice, but it's kinda plain. It makes me think "Yeah, so?". Still, it's your poem and you edit what you want.

Though, it seems almost no one dares point out negative things because of the constructive criticisms thing. But I don't really get how you should come anywhere if you don't get to know from what to improve.

I don't want you taking it as I don't like you or such, because if you do, you're wrong :)
 

Miz

Administrator
Well I changed it now
The major thing is that I found is that the part wasn't need because i already put that in the same paragraph
(well pretty much)
 
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