the competition of all jokes

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Nigerianrulz

suga suga how'd you get so fly?
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heres some joke for your friends-you need to say, handshake, manshake and milkshake
(warning do not use on girls)
first give them a handshake
then a manshake(a kind of ganster handshake)
say milkshake and give them a titytwisty( twist they tits)
 
K

Knyves

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Your mama's so fat she drives a spandex car.

There was once a man with a 25" penis. Obviously, he was having trouble getting laid because it was too big.
One day, he finds a magical lamp, rubs it, and of course a genie appears. "I'll give you one wish." the genie said. "I want you to shrink my penis." "Sorry, I can't do that. But I'll tell you what. There's a pond with a magical frog that, if you ask him to marry you, every time he says no your penis will shrink 5 inches."
The man went to the pond and asked every frog he found to marry him. He finally came upon the magical one. "Will you marry me?" "No" the frog said. He felt his penis shrink 5 inches. It was still 20", which was still far too big. He asked again. "Will you marry me?" No. It shrank again. Now it was 15". One more time and it wouild be perfect. "Will marry me?" The frog answered in a very annoyed manner, "How many times do I have to tell you? No, no, no!"
 
M

Makaze

Guest
Heres a joke kinda old and long but bear with it!:
In the beginning, there was the plan.
And then came the arseumptions. And the arseumptions were without form and the plan, without substance.
And darkness came upon the face of the workers. And the workers spoke among themselves and said," It's a crock of shit and it stinks."
And the workers went unto their supervisors and said,"It's a pail of dung and we can't live with the smell."
And the supervisors went unto their managers and said," It is a container of strong excrement, and none may abide by it."
And the managers went unto their directors and said, " It is a vessel of fertiliser and, and none may abide its strength."
And the directors spoke among themselves, and said to one another,"It contains that which aids plant growth and is very strong."
And the directors went to their vice-presidents and said unto them,"It promotes growth and it is very powerful."
And the vice-presidents went to to the president and said unto him," This new plan will promote growth, and vigour of the company with powerful effects."
And the president looked upon the plan,and said that it was good. And the plan, became policy.
And this, my friends is how shit happens.
 
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