This is a short creative writing piece that I have written in response to a test past exam question that focuses on the idea of "Journey."
It's not 100% but the question was something like this:
A book is about to be published titled "Fear No Barrier: Journeys of Amazing Men & Women." Contruct a piece of writing based on a fictional character which could be published in this book.
So yeah, please critique honestly. If you can, comment on all areas such as Grammar, Plot, Appeal, Use of words, etc
It's not 100% but the question was something like this:
A book is about to be published titled "Fear No Barrier: Journeys of Amazing Men & Women." Contruct a piece of writing based on a fictional character which could be published in this book.
So yeah, please critique honestly. If you can, comment on all areas such as Grammar, Plot, Appeal, Use of words, etc
The Gateway
The voices echoed through my ears. All I wanted was some peace and quiet. I gently closed my eyes, I was tired. My eyelids could no longer sustain the weight, I needed to rest.
But as the darkness shrouded my sight, I felt a sudden surge of rush pass through my body. I squelched my eyes tighter, trying to grasp on until the feeling was gone. It worked. The voices felt like they were a lifetime away. I wasn’t sure if I should’ve opened my eyes, but I had this gut feeling inside of me; like everything was going to be okay, like someone was telling me to relax, like a guardian angel watching over me.
Reluctantly, I opened my eyes, but everything changed. It couldn’t be. I was no longer lying down helplessly in bed anymore; I was standing wide awake on the veranda of my childhood home. But that was impossible; the house was demolished years ago. I had to be dreaming. I just had to be. I nodded down at my hands and rubbed them, I tried squelching and reopening my eyes to see if I would wake up. I tried every technique that came to mind. It couldn’t have been a dream, it was all too real.
Home was just as I remembered it. The wooden walls shone brightly in a lime tint and the windows reflected the bright glow of the sun. Even the gnomes were still standing tall on the pathway.
I paced myself through the hallways, slowly reaching my room. Paintings and family photos hung onto the bright yellow walls. The door gently opened itself up as I gave the handle a gentle twist.
I stood still in my tracks, my eyes wide open and my mind is disbelief. The house was one thing, but this... It just couldn’t be. Everyone was there. Mum, dad, and big sis. Impossible. My heart started pumping and my eyes began to become moist. Step after step, I slowly walked towards them. They called out to me, telling me how much they missed me.
My heart started to pump faster, a lot faster. The voices began to come back. No! I didn’t want to go back! My vision started to blur and my heart pounded furiously. They were slowly disappearing further and further away into a tunnel of light. I reached out with both hands, trying to reach out and chase after them, but it was hopeless. I screamed out my emotions, telling them how much I loved them, but they couldn’t hear.
The bright light at the end suddenly erupted. The light rays exploded violently in all directions and blinded me. The feeling was back. The surge rushed through me in a quick bolt of warmth and adrenalin and it was suddenly gone again.
Exhaustingly, I opened up my eyes and gasped for breath. My heart continued to pound ferociously as I panicked for air.
The doctors celebrated in joy as they saw me awoke. They had succeeded. I scanned the crowded room, with the events that I had experienced going through my mind. I didn’t know what to feel or think. I was grateful for their efforts, but I didn’t feel…happy…
Two weeks have passed by, yet it seemed like only an hour ago since I was admitted out of the hospital. I was sent there as a result of a previous heart attack. I guess I had it coming; I’ve been smoking for over 40 years.
A few weeks ago I would’ve been scared, I would’ve been worried about myself. But not anymore.
If I could share with you what I had seen; what I had experienced; what I had learnt; I would tell you that Death was an obstacle - that Death was just another barrier in life - that Death was a boundary; a gateway between our world of troubles, to a Utopian heaven with nothing to worry about. I would tell you that Death should not be feared.
I was diagnosed with an incurable lung cancer. The doctors don’t know how long I have to live, for all I know I could go to sleep and never wake up to see tomorrow. They do, however, know that I have the limit of around a year to live. It doesn’t matter though. Let Death come. I no longer fear it, I welcome it.
The voices echoed through my ears. All I wanted was some peace and quiet. I gently closed my eyes, I was tired. My eyelids could no longer sustain the weight, I needed to rest.
But as the darkness shrouded my sight, I felt a sudden surge of rush pass through my body. I squelched my eyes tighter, trying to grasp on until the feeling was gone. It worked. The voices felt like they were a lifetime away. I wasn’t sure if I should’ve opened my eyes, but I had this gut feeling inside of me; like everything was going to be okay, like someone was telling me to relax, like a guardian angel watching over me.
Reluctantly, I opened my eyes, but everything changed. It couldn’t be. I was no longer lying down helplessly in bed anymore; I was standing wide awake on the veranda of my childhood home. But that was impossible; the house was demolished years ago. I had to be dreaming. I just had to be. I nodded down at my hands and rubbed them, I tried squelching and reopening my eyes to see if I would wake up. I tried every technique that came to mind. It couldn’t have been a dream, it was all too real.
Home was just as I remembered it. The wooden walls shone brightly in a lime tint and the windows reflected the bright glow of the sun. Even the gnomes were still standing tall on the pathway.
I paced myself through the hallways, slowly reaching my room. Paintings and family photos hung onto the bright yellow walls. The door gently opened itself up as I gave the handle a gentle twist.
I stood still in my tracks, my eyes wide open and my mind is disbelief. The house was one thing, but this... It just couldn’t be. Everyone was there. Mum, dad, and big sis. Impossible. My heart started pumping and my eyes began to become moist. Step after step, I slowly walked towards them. They called out to me, telling me how much they missed me.
My heart started to pump faster, a lot faster. The voices began to come back. No! I didn’t want to go back! My vision started to blur and my heart pounded furiously. They were slowly disappearing further and further away into a tunnel of light. I reached out with both hands, trying to reach out and chase after them, but it was hopeless. I screamed out my emotions, telling them how much I loved them, but they couldn’t hear.
The bright light at the end suddenly erupted. The light rays exploded violently in all directions and blinded me. The feeling was back. The surge rushed through me in a quick bolt of warmth and adrenalin and it was suddenly gone again.
Exhaustingly, I opened up my eyes and gasped for breath. My heart continued to pound ferociously as I panicked for air.
The doctors celebrated in joy as they saw me awoke. They had succeeded. I scanned the crowded room, with the events that I had experienced going through my mind. I didn’t know what to feel or think. I was grateful for their efforts, but I didn’t feel…happy…
Two weeks have passed by, yet it seemed like only an hour ago since I was admitted out of the hospital. I was sent there as a result of a previous heart attack. I guess I had it coming; I’ve been smoking for over 40 years.
A few weeks ago I would’ve been scared, I would’ve been worried about myself. But not anymore.
If I could share with you what I had seen; what I had experienced; what I had learnt; I would tell you that Death was an obstacle - that Death was just another barrier in life - that Death was a boundary; a gateway between our world of troubles, to a Utopian heaven with nothing to worry about. I would tell you that Death should not be feared.
I was diagnosed with an incurable lung cancer. The doctors don’t know how long I have to live, for all I know I could go to sleep and never wake up to see tomorrow. They do, however, know that I have the limit of around a year to live. It doesn’t matter though. Let Death come. I no longer fear it, I welcome it.
Couldn't really determine the gender, but by default, I would say it was also a guy.
