The Puppeteer, Opinions needed.

kingbdogz

The Edge of Eternity is upon us.
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Well this is my first attempt at writing, it's probably bad, but this is why i need opinions and help to improve it. Ive only wrote 2 pages so far:
Chapter 1:
1 000 000 000 years later…


“God Seth you didn't have to do this, I know your angry at us but seriously this is the only food we have, I can't afford to have you and your family fed in the first place, and this just makes it worse” we gazed at each other for what seemed minutes, even hours. “Don't walk away!” He added as Seth went for the door.
“But you can’t possibly think I did this? I don’t even know anything about-“
“But you do, look, I know your a good kid but you need to learn what is right and wrong" he interrupted.
“Sorry sir” Seth said, he knew he was still right.
"Now get to bed, you need some rest" his father finished.
Anger was boiling from his stomach up and he could feel words rising to his mouth, but he knew he could say nothing because it would do no better, possibly even make things worse.
"Night dad" Seth said.
"Goodnight"

Seth was fifteen, had a nine-year-old brother, a thirteen-year-old sister, mum and a dad, and lived as a normal every day peasant in the Crusading Kingdoms that held the Throne of the Crusader’s King. It only happened this morning. He had woken up early and went to the fields to milk the only cow his family had, and that’s when it happened. The cow’s side just opened up and guts, blood and intestines started flowing out. It was as if an invisible sword had struck at the cow’s side. But Seth’s parents didn’t believe him and thought he did it because yesterday he had nearly got caught stealing, got in trouble and wanted payback. As if he’d want payback, his family didn’t have any food as it is and the cow’s milk and cheese barely feeds him and his family put together. Seth didn’t understand fully what was going on.
How did the cow get cut? This was no sword or weapon attack, this was the works of an expert or force unknown to him. He puzzled over the subject for weeks, but nothing in his mind came up that could possibly fit in with the situation. But he had to deal with it someway, there was no hope convincing his parents now. Later that night he got ready for tea, which was a peasant meal called pottage, then went to clean up him self and have good night sleep. Instead of sleeping though he lay awake for a long time, the incident with the cow was too serious to ignore and seeing it for him self did not help one bit.
He got up and looked into his bathroom mirror. He had messy jet-black hair and an unusual color of black eyes. He was the only person he had seen with black eyes, sure there were dark brown eyes but not black. He had grown a lot over the past year and was quite tall and very thin. Seth needed something to occupy him, so he went out into the barnyard and watched the stars. They were very bright tonight… unusually bright. If only he could explain to his parents what happened, but they didn't believe him. There's got to be some explanation for what happened. He soon got tired so he returned to bed, and fell asleep as soon as he lay his head on his on his pillow.

*

He woke up late in the morning; he could see dust in the ray of light streaming from his window. Not again... He thought. His father needs help with farming every morning, and early in the morning. If I don't my dads going to kill me!
"Arghhh...!" he groaned. He better get up before-
"SETH!" someone called. It was too late; his father had finished nurturing his farm. He was screwed. He got up quickly and ran outside.
"Gees, Seth, how many times do I have to tell you. Get up early in the morning. This is your last warning and I mean it." His father frowned.
Something bellowed in pain nearby. It was not a cow mooing in pain that he heard, but the screech of an unknown source, unknown that is until he looked behind him. He saw his brother bending over a blurred figure. When he and his dad got closer he saw what had happened, his worst fear had become a reality. His sister, Jayne, had been whimpering on the floor with massive gashes and cuts all over her body, thank god though she was still alive and breathing but he could not comprehend what had just happened. He hoped that something would not be mentioned, but unfortunately it had been discussed right after the healers had come to take Jayne to the hospital.
“You did this didn’t you!?” yelled his father.
“What!? You think I did this?” His brother Henry continued, “If anything it proves that Seth didn’t do it last time!” Henry yelled before his father could rebut
“You don’t think you can get away with this?“ yells his mother sounding frightened
“I DID NOT DO THIS!” Henry howled with rage. Henry stormed his way out of the barn and headed straight for the house. Seth went after him, Henry was looking for something Seth does not know. His brother ran to the back window, which leads into his bedroom. Fortunately for Henry it was open and he climbed through. Henry lay on his bed looking afraid and confused. How was he going to calm his brother? His parents have never been too keen on Henry, and he knows they will turn him in and execute him like a worthless animal. All he could think of was running away with him, but where? And really even if he knew where, he could not support himself and Henry on food, but then the thought of running away would sound better to Henry then a horrible death by execution. But on the other hand he could stay here and let Henry go hide for a while.
That sounded better. But how was Henry going to stay hidden? He knew it would be better then any death or runaways but Henry could not support himself. He packed some food, clothes and supplies for a tent. He stole the only blanket in the house, owned by his dad. A wide smirk spread on his face. Seth knew the safest place to go was the forest yet how would he protect himself if the searchers found him? He would need to find out later.
“Henry, we’re running away, come on now you lazy ass we don’t have much time!” Seth yelled. He finally decided he needed a weapon so he ran to the blacksmiths forge, hiding in the ally ways and side streets on the way. He knew that the blacksmith was at a feast, the feast his parents would proclaim Henry an enemy and organize a man hunt on him, so him and his brother broke in a window, entered the forge, and begun searching.
It didn’t take long for Seth and his brother to find a long thin sword as well as other useful tools like a bow and some arrows to hunt with, he also found a small butcher knife. When he was done pillaging the forge, they went down to the market stand that sold fire making supplies; it was a place he knew very well as he had once held a job there. Unfortunately for the owner, it also meant he knew where to get the spare key. He got the key underneath the doormat and opened the locked door, went in collecting the supplies he needed and “borrowed” a waste bucket. As he had collected all the supplies he needed, he had one last act to perform to signify him and his brother as a rogue. Seth took the waste bucket.
“After you Henry?”
“My Pleasure!” Henry poured its contents over the gates to the village before they ran off to their new life in the small forest that could soon be their only home.

When they arrived at the small forest Seth realized that he was hungry and exhausted. “So” Seth said “One step into our new home, kind of scruffy but it could work, what can we do to get some food around here?” he continued “A deer or rabbit should be here somewhere” then he turned around to see a large mound in the dirt. “Hmm, could it be-?” and sure enough as he got closer and closer, a family of rabbits had leaped out (he was very close to the burrow) and they barely missed his face. Seth drew his bow, aimed, and knocked an arrow at a nearby rabbit. The rabbits paw was bolted to the hard earth with an arrow, he felt sorry for it but he had to live.
The rabbit was whimpering and struggling but it was no use, Seth drew his butcher knife and ended its life with the sharp edge. The rabbit’s head dropped to the floor of the forest. The rabbit’s body lay on the earth motionless and dead. He picked up the body; let the blood soak out for a minute, then put it in his supply bag for later. Some time later after searching for a nice place to hide out, he set up his tent and after countless attempts; he had managed to start a log fire.

*

Later that night he and his brother lay awake staring into the sky. They did not talk at all, Seth and Henry were brothers but they never really knew each other.
“Seth?”
“Yeah?”
“What are we going to do…? I mean we can run away like this but is it any good?”
“Come on Henry your smarter then that, mum and dad will turn you in and you will get executed, it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out no offense.”
“None taken, Seth. I just don’t want to live this life. It’s boring and it gets lonely.”
“Well tomorrow we will have to go, the searchers will find us. Where should we go, deeper into the forest or out into the valley?”
“I thought that valley was forbidden!” Henry said innocently.
“’Course it is, some strange crap has happened there”
“Seth! Don’t speak foul.”
“Crap isn’t foul yer idiot!”
“’Night Seth”
“’Night Henry”
And with that he went straight to sleep.

Chapter 2:
The Dark Leader


Leafs were shuffling nearby and the crackling of the log fire was gone. God Henry shut up and get back to sleep he thought. The leaves kept shuffling, he heard mumbling nearby. "Henry, you there?" No sign of Henry. Dogs were barking nearby and he could see light in the distance. "Henry! Where are you we got to get up!" He said in the lowest voice possible. The dogs barking were getting closer and the voices of people were getting nearer and nearer. "Shit!" he was in serious trouble, and where was Henry? He got up as quietly as he could, if Henry was gone then he could do nothing. He dashed away from the figures as fast as he could. As far as he could see and hear, they did not detect his presence. Where the hell was Henry? And what was he-?
BUMP!
He had bumped into what appeared to be nothing. "Huh?" What was that?
"Hello Seth..." A dark voice said. "Follow me and ask no questions" the dark voice continued.
The thing he had bumped into was not nothing, the dark voice was a man. The man slid his invisibility cloak off himself and handed it out to Seth. "Put this on, we can't be followed".
He could not see the mans face and the moons light only shined lightly on his silky clothes. It took at least half an hour before the man stopped, it was such a surprise he nearly bumped into him again.
"What am I doing here.. err-?"
"I'm the Dark Leader of the Outcasts" the dark voice said.
"The Outcasts?" he said "Who are the Outcasts?"
"The Outcasts are a rebellious group of Crusaders who have rebelled against the Crusaders Empire. They originally were a group of peasants who had been tortured and slaved for nearly forty years, the slaves got rebellious and started a cult called the Outcasts. The Outcasts at first just learned how to sneak around stealing food, but it got a lot more complicated. They learned how to rip their souls out of their body's, they got better and better until they could wander outside their body's and sneak and scout Crusader outposts. Once they mastered it to the fullest, they started to grow powerful and learn dark magic. This dark magic allowed their souls to get into the spiritual realm and do anything to a body's soul"
"And your the Outcast Leader?"
"Correct"
"How come you know my name?"
"We know many things about you and the Crusaders. I see you have abandoned the village? You are very welcome to become an Outcast..."
The idea of joining the Outcasts was scary, but they could provide resources.
"Thanks, but I'm in trouble, I was sleeping with my brother and then I woke up and he was not there. Some searchers were following me but luckily I escaped without them noticing"
"We shall find your brother, but we must get back to my settlement, they would have found your tracks by now"

*

It took about five minutes to get to the Dark Leaders settlement. At first there was nothing at the settlement, but the Leader voiced something in whisper and walls appeared.

The settlement was quite large. This was a surprise to Seth as he figured the Outcasts were a small group not an entire new race of people. Inside the settlements marble walls were many buildings made of sand and stone, to Seth’s surprise they were very strong probably stronger then the stone cathedral at the village. “How are these made?” Seth asked the strange Outcast leader
“How are what made?” was his gruff reply
“These buildings are made of sand and soft stone, how can they possibly be this sturdy it’s just not possible” Seth just couldn’t believe how they could be made
The Outcast leader smiled
“We are just as good as finding new substances as the Crusaders are, we discovered an almost transparent silver liquid we call Glue Silk. It is able to hold even the weakest of minerals together and them even stronger then before. That is how well it works and is also why we use this instead of cement like the Crusaders use”
“Where does this Glue Silk come from then” Seth wondered allowed
“Until your initiated into our ranks I’m not telling you that” was the hooded mans almost malicious response
“If your not going to tell me that at least tell me where the hell my brother is”
“How should I know that? I wasn’t there at the time but perhaps you could consult with the shades of time”
“The what?”
“The village elders we call them the Shades of time because they have seen things all over the world through different eras just by letting the shades of their soul wander”
“Well where are they”
“Where else in the temple of the dark moon”
“What the hell is that?”
“A temple that carry's statues of things we worship like the spirits of the dark.”
The Temple?






























Chapter 3:
The Shades of Time


The temple was a large grand marble building at the center of the settlement; walls of the same dark marble surrounded it and on top of those walls were statues of strange fiend creatures Seth guessed these were the spirits of the dark the Outcasts worshipped. Seth took a deep breath and walked through the open gate noticing on his way through it was made of black marble. Seth looked through the long halls of the temple looking for the main worship area that the Shades of Time would be at; he searched through the surprisingly huge temple looking for these Shades of Time. He stopped thinking, “Were those voices?” he walked further through the corridors he was sure he heard whispering voices
“Seth come to us we know you’re here Seth come to us and we can tell you all” those strange wise voices called
“Okay there are voices calling me after all” Seth thought out loud as he entered a large room
“What the…” in front of him were three black furred cats and they were just sitting on big cushions staring at him
“Well it’s good to see that you found us” he heard one say
“Okay either I’m losing it or you three cats are the Shades of Time,” Seth stated
“Your not losing it” a humorous yet wise voice said to Seth, Seth recognized it as being the cat on the right.

“We know that you have come hoping we can tell you of the location of your brother and we can but first you must understand” the center cat said
“Understand what?” was Seth’s curious response
“Everything”
“How am I supposed to do that?”
“We are centuries old we cannot move for ourselves so we have learned to wander with our souls and our minds”
“I don’t get it”
“We have deal with the beings of Hell, and you, will cooperate. The beings of Hell are helping us create the most powerful warriors in the world, and you, the new type of Shade walker, will be able to use the same skills we have learned. You will not be as good as us but good enough for us to use you as a military soldier and assassin. You will be like our messenger of death. We must give the beings of Hell you. You will be the first to do this and they will freely provide this service for us. But to make sure we give them someone that will not run away, they will be holding hostage something of importance to that certain someone”
“Let me guess my brother”
“Yes to get him back you must journey to Hell and become the first of the Puppeteer Shade walkers and become a soldier for us as well as our way of communicating with others outside of this temple” Seth knew he had no choice but he was scared that he would have to go to hell to save his brother.
Seth left the temple and went to see the Outcasts leader again “So you have talked to the Shades of Time and they have told you of your brother?” the leader asked “And you of course are going to go to Hell and do these things for us?” he questioned again
“As I’m sure you know I am but I must see the Shades again in a week and I will need somewhere to stay”
“I figured you would so we have made you a cottage to stay in it is just over there” he said pointing to a small sand cottage “and you will have supplies bought to you as well as me letting you roam the settlement freely”
Seth thanked the commander and went to his new home thinking he would try to learn more about the Outcasts in the week before he went to see the Shades of Time again.

*

Two days had past since confronting the Shades of Time. The cottage Seth now stayed in was smaller then he thought, comparing it to the settlements villas of course. He mostly slept all day thinking about what he had to do in Hell. What were these Hell freaks going to teach him? He wanted his brother back but not on these conditions. Why did they want him anyway? What was different about him that made them chose him instead of some other person. He decided to get out of bed and walk around the settlement; he had hardly done anything in the past two days. The settlement was filled with villas and large burrows that led into underground apartments. The settlement itself was quite large, but it was quite boring to look at. A lot of black marble and black bricks were used for making houses and it made everything look dull. Seth walked up to a nearby Summoning Yard. At least one good thing about being an Outcast is you get things for free. A Summoning Yard is a round statue where you can use Outcast powers to bend the air around you into objects including food. He saw a person in a silk cloak nearby, he looked distressed.
“Excuse me? Could you bend me some food I do not know any Outcast magic”
“No” Was the cloaked mans blunt answer. He did not look at Seth.
“Why? I cannot do it myself”
“No, I have no time I need to escape from this place” Ignoring his face again
“Why what are you doing here?”
“No questions, I’m off, if I ever see you again it will be the last day you live” What? What was this man talking about?
“What are you talking about? Get back here!” But it was no use; the man ran into a random direction, jumped in the air and vanished slowly. What was he talking about ‘if I ever see you again it will be the last day you live’ Seth has never even met the guy and he starts threatening him. He should report this to the Leader. The Leader was in a giant burrow near the middle of the Settlement. He ran as fast as he could, got into the burrow and bumped into the Leader again.
“Leader, I’ve seen a cloaked man and he said he would kill me if he ever saw me again!”
Seth explained all that happened to the Leader.
“Interesting, what was this man wearing?”
“A large silk cloak, I never saw his face he kept ignoring me”
“I shall report it to the guards, thank you for telling me Seth your loyalty to us is one step to getting your brother”
Seth wasn’t doing this for the Leader; he was doing it for his brother. The sooner he got out of this damned place the sooner he would go home.
“No problem, I need some rest, can I go back to my cottage?”
“Yes, Seth, by all means rest”
“Thank you I shall see you soon”
Seth walked back to his Cottage while on the way looking out for the man that had threatened him. Who the hell was this man? Why did he want to kill him, Seth has done nothing to harm or anger anybody. Hell, he has been nice to everyone he’s met, even his own brother. But what he did not understand the most was how that guy got in, why was he in the settlement in the first place. He couldn’t think about it anymore, it was already giving him a headache. He finally got back to his cottage and sat down on a nearby armchair. He needed to clean up this place, just in the two days he has been occupied in this Cottage he has messed it up big time. Papers were on the floor, stains were on his coffee table and food was on the arms of his cushioned chairs. Well he had better clean it now, he wanted to just rest tomorrow and cleaning is not resting. It took him ten minutes to clean up and then fell asleep out of exhaustion.
*

The next four days were hell, it was hard to find someone willing to conjure up food from the Summoning Yard. He had mostly just roamed the settlement looking for something interesting to do. Yesterday Seth slept all day, it wasn't even like he was doing anything tiresome, but he was still exhausted. He needed to return to the Shades of Time tomorrow and confront Hell. He was not scared surprisingly but he was a bit nervous.
He just had to wait...

*

It was a week after the meeting with the three black furred cats called the Shades of Time and it was now time to confront them again. He headed for the Temple and when he finally got there, here went to the place the Shades of Time were last week. They weren't there. Why weren't they there? But before he could worry the three black cats slowly faded into existence.
"Good Morning Seth" said what seemed like the left cat
"Hi" he replied unenthusiastically
"Are you ready for your journey?" said the far right cat
"I think so"
"You must kill yourself first" said the middle cat.
"What?"
"When you kill yourself we will give you infinite sins"
"But doesn't that mean I'm in Hell forever"
"No, we must teach you to kill yourself but let your soul live"
"So I'm practically ripping my soul out of myself?"
"Correct"
"How do I do this?"
"Concentrate on yourself, think of yourself out of your body in a different location..."
He closed his eyes and thought of himself a few feet away
"Concentrate... Think..."
He concentrated harder
"Believe you are out of your body"
He tried harder then ever before"
"Welcome to Hell young Puppeteer"
He was now in Hell.


Chapter 4:
Hell


He opened his eyes and saw he was in a large cave, red earthy dust floated everywhere and lava surrounded bridges of earth. The roofs of the cave had a red glow from the lava and brown earth drooped down from the earth tops. A large half bull half human stood in front of him. The demon had red skin and a large axe strapped to his back.
"Who are you?"
"I am your guide, you can call me Garash"
"This is Hell?"
"Very much so"
"So-?"
"You will follow me and we will start training"
"Ok-"
"No speaking!"
They walked on countless bridges of earth. Strangely it was not hot in Hell.
"We are here"
Standing before him was a huge cage stadium.
"Get in now, your training starts now"
"What? What am I supposed-"
But before he could finish his sentence he was in the middle of the stadium. He stood there weary. What was he supposed to do? Doors on the side opened up and shadows escaped them. Something was in there... He heard movement behind him. A Black Hellhound was running at him. He ran as fast as he could but the Hellhound pounced on his back. Claws penetrated deeply in his back and pain traveled through his spine.
"ARGHH!"
He turned around and punched the Hound square in the face. It whimpered away. More movement was behind him. Two more Hellhounds were running at him. Seth charged at them and jumped over the Hellhounds. They turned around but weren't quick enough. He stomped on one of the Hellhounds back and it's spine stuck out of it's skin. It dropped to the floor instantly. The other one stepped back slowly. Seth jumped on it's back and held onto it's stomach. he punched it's face again and again and it's eyes started bleeding. He felt searing pain on his stomach and jumped off to see a spike slide out of the Hellhounds back. He stomped onto the Hounds neck repeatedly and it dropped onto the floor like the previous. His fists were clenched with dark blood. He stood up, there was one more. It was near the closed doors whimpering. It looked terrified. Seth walked closer to it. It opened it's mouth and roared while shaking the whole stadium. He went deaf for a few seconds then came back to his senses.
"Finish it!"
He had no choice. He lifted his foot up and crushed it's skull with one furious stomp.
"Well done, with no weapons you did very well, you have wounds but we will not heal you, you need to master pain and fix your own wounds"
"But ill die!"
"That is why your here, to learn" Garash said "Follow me I will take you to your containment chamber"
It took them what seemed hours to walk to a small cage.
"You will sleep here and heal your wounds"
He climbed into the cage and stood there watching Garash. Garash walked away and left himself alone. What the Hell does he have to do? He had no magical pixie fairy powers so what was this 'Garash' expecting? Him to magically heal himself? He could already feel himself getting weak.
 
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