The Red Lighter

Miz

Miz

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The Red Lighter

The Red Lighter is a Short Story I am writing because I'm bored and have to get this idea out of my head.

I Request that no Grammar police post a Grammar update reply
Instead please send me a PM

Summary​
2 boys enter into a new high school as there freshmen year. The main character Alexander or Alex and David. The go to Stevenson High School which is
surrounded by factories and it isn't for the best students but anyway Alex meets a girl name Sam who's a Soft more. Most everyone on the high school smokes except Alex and David.

Story​

Chapters​

Chapter - New Friend
Authors Note Part 1
Chapter 2 - Tardy
Chapter 3 - Coldest Month
Chapter 4 - The Lighter
Authors Note Part 2​


Download

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Halahan

Halahan

To die will be an awfully big adventure.
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Good, you introduce everything well and start the love story out in a good way.
Grammar, especially in the beginning, is a little appalling. mainly in the beginning though, theres like a 4 sentence run on, although it still would be a run on, commas are your friend.
work on that grammar, read a lot of books.
good story though.

I'm kinda hooked to read more.
 
hortononon

hortononon

"I give em the hip then I take it away"-Jim Thorpe
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LOL great story line, but u must have been really bored, thats the worst grammar ive ever seen.

I cant wait to read more so try fixing it and continuing it.
 
Miz

Miz

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...
Did you even read the rules
Worst Grammar ever seen isn't
From Rules said:
Give only Constructive Criticism
Click to expand...

I can just tell you guys not to read my story at all
I could just give it to my friend I don't have to post it on TH

And yes I have read my grammar I just type fast so Its hard to find your mistakes...
But if you think you can do better type 2 words in almost a second and I'll see how much grammar mistakes you make without editing it

But I guess I'll try to find my mistakes

EDIT: Fixed run on sentences... Tell me if you find anyother errors
 
Halahan

Halahan

To die will be an awfully big adventure.
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I was just saying its something you need to work on, everyone has to work on something.

horton is new, cut him some slack. prob hasn't read the rules yet. (though he should have when he started using the forum. *glances at horton threateningly*)

But then just type slower, its not like you have to meet a deadline. I prob type maybe 85 wpm when I type stories when I've got the idea clear in my head, but I type slower when I'm formulating it as I type it.
Take your time, there's no hurry, if you have the idea already in your head and you have to put it down on paper that instant, then reread and edit it before you post it.
But it was a good story.
 
Miz

Miz

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Thats why I am good at poetry because theres no rules in poetry you can do whatever you want :p

But I just snap at him because I other things then just writing today
But I hope to have the 2nd chapter online soon

well another thing is I don't know how long my short story is going to be yet I think 5 chapters to 7 chapters some where around there

But don't call the grammar police SHHHH There on to me
 
Halahan

Halahan

To die will be an awfully big adventure.
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Thats what I was thinking. (why you do poetry)
 
Miz

Miz

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Yep,
Anyway I actually got some of this story line from FLCL or Fooly Cooly which is a weird anime but I got the idea from that
 
hortononon

hortononon

"I give em the hip then I take it away"-Jim Thorpe
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whoa whoa whoa sorry Mizo (that's my nickname for u) I did read the rules and i was just sayin that cuz i thought u did it on purpose being bored and all
i hope i didnt offend you, or draw attention to the grammar police..

{HAlahan} you type like 100 wpm
 
Miz

Miz

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Lol, well I am going to work for a new writing forum and I get to be admin so being a writer pays off

If you guys want to post there I may put a hall of fame on the site
 
Miz

Miz

Administrator
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The Notepad Forums
Were trying to get the sever to work but it blew for some reason but we will get it up soon
 
Halahan

Halahan

To die will be an awfully big adventure.
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>you type like 100 wpm
thats just when I'm typing something that I already know what I'm going to type.
Story, I'm sometimes making it up as I go, sometimes thinking about it.
 
Miz

Miz

Administrator
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Well anyway...
I added Authors Notes in there for people who like that
So Enjoy I will most likely finish writing the next 3 or 4 chapters over Thursday into Sunday because I'll be leaving for Sectionals Swim Meet

Which I'll be leaving late tonight
 
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