Things you NEVER Say to the cops.

C-Death

I love you
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45
BTw add some in your post.

1) Your not gona look in the trunk are ya?
2) Nice magnum, cant beat my 44 gage
 
E

Eilhal

Guest
3) You smelled my donuts didn't you!

(actually.. I know someone who got away without getting a ticket because they said that and made the cop piss his pants.. yes thats right.. the cop pissed his pants laughing :p )

4) What screaming? No it isn't coming from the trunk.. that's just my engine. What? You didn't hear it? [This is where the cop says I'm gonna need you to step out of the car and open your trunk sir]
 

uberfoop

~=Admiral Stukov=~
Reaction score
177
Sry dude, I cant really add much to this thread, cuz i dont have all that many conversations with cops to know what or what not to say to them. I guess I'm not a criminal :p
 

hobo218

Meh
Reaction score
75
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been
drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyeslook glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
 

C-Death

I love you
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Ic got an Uber one,

You look just like the guy i killed yesterday, want to see his body?
 
H

hey its X

Guest
at the mexican border. "hey you guys in the trunk! shut up!"
 

C-Death

I love you
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"Oh you want my licens officer? Here hold my pistol and m-16, and could i get ya to hold this gernade also? Thanks"
 

seph ir oth

Mod'n Dat News Jon
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262
Imagine saying these IMMEDIATELY to them as they walk over to you, lol:

"Hey, the stripper down the street had one of those badges!"

"What booze?"

"Don't worry fellas, she's 18."

"My gun's bigger."
 
S

SlimeJumper

Guest
1. What's the officer, problem?
2. You look like the guy that i killed in prison!
3. One second please, i'm cleaning my gun.
4. Where's your dognut?
5. I didn't drive 120 miles per hour! I drove 130!
6. Ouch! I stub my toe against my shotgun!
7. One second please, my dick is stuck in my beer bottle.
8. You look like a piece of shit in those clothes.
9. Can you make this quick? I have a meeting with Bin Laden.
10. This is no cigarette! It's a joint!
 

King TonGoll

ORLY?*DDR*
Reaction score
87
THE POWER OF CHRIST REPELS YOU!
DEMON BE GONE!

sneez on them, on purpose.

officer you must be drunk there isn't 6 hoes in my char, im gana have to wright you a ticket.

im sorry but it must suck to be you.

yes officer? bye officer. *drives off*

how many guys haveyou killed?

im sorry, for doing your wife!

we are not transporting geneticly alterd animals for use as slaves.
 

HG-Bonfire

New Member
Reaction score
22
when the cop comes to the window, roll it down and pretend to talk, but dont make any noise, (I know a friend once who did this, it was hilarious cuz the cop actually had a hearing aid)
 

O4thK33p3r

New Member
Reaction score
2
HG-Bonfire said:
when the cop comes to the window, roll it down and pretend to talk, but dont make any noise, (I know a friend once who did this, it was hilarious cuz the cop actually had a hearing aid)

LMAO i watched this movie where the students were just mouthing to each otehr when the dep. principle came to take the lesson. the dep. principle was like deaf and needed heavy hearing aid, and after 5 mins or so there was this one student which toned the machine/wadeva to max and screamed into it.

twas hilarious :)
 
D

Dark_Hawk

Guest
SlimeJumper said:
1. What's the officer, problem?
Man dont steal sayings from south park..

1. Hey man chill.. You want a line?
2. (On the phone and cop next to you, but dont notice) Yeah hold on a pig just stopped me, later.
3. Umm.. Hey listen if I kiss you you won.. Oh your not gay, but what about the pink gun? Oh ok sorry..
4. Im sorry officer but i didn't kill someone just now with THIS baby! A glock! Feel it, just fired a hour ago against someone who didn't tip me, got away.. Oh noes I forgot your a Pig!
5. Do you like threesomes? I have a beautiful wife..
 

C-Death

I love you
Reaction score
45
"you Only Pulled Me Over Cuz Im American"
 

InfectedWithDrew

I used to go here a lot.
Reaction score
95
Pretend to be disabled and scream like a vegetable at him, then hock a loogie on his face

btw, that's how I introduce myself to strangers
 

O4thK33p3r

New Member
Reaction score
2
greet him in a foreign language in which you only kw 2 words of: "hi" and "bye", and continue to only say those words. if sumhow that cop knows of the language, switch to another 1 and repeat.
 
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