True Colors - A original story by Duwenbasden

Duwenbasden

Ver 6 CREATE energy AS SELECT * FROM u.energy
True Colors - An original story by Duwenbasden

True Colors

Type: Suspense
Genre: Fanfiction
Settings: Port Deyes / Summer
Chapters: ~15

This English version has never been posted anywhere.

Chapter 1

Nothing can be predicted, even humans.

I was having my dear nap at the time when the phone on my desk rang. In haste I picked it up.

"Ms. Man, I have a job for you," said the unknown voice once I picked up the phone. "The details when we meet in Fractor Square. The code is 'The sky is very blue tonight.'. Client will pay high."

For money's sake I must go! I quickly dragged myself out of bed, and stumbled all the way to the bathroom, only to found out that my hair is all out of place. Due to my obnoxious habit of keeping myself clean and tidy all the time, I lost a great amount of time trying to sort everything together. After 30 minutes, I was ready to go.

The night was very foggy tonight, I could barely see anything outside my windshield. I drove carefully, avoiding anything that could be lethal or dangerous. After I arrived in Fractor Square, I approached the man I was looking for.

“The sky is very blue tonight,” I said in a shady voice. The man turned around and looked at me in question. Then he began to ask many questions which a lot of them I have no idea about. After a while, he killed his cigarette, and took out a piece of paper and some unknown object from the pocket inside his tuxedo. He handed the paper and the object to me.

“Do what the instruction says and we'll have a good time working together,” the man said before he left.
 

Halahan

To die will be an awfully big adventure.
Good, although put some more mystery in there and it will be a much stronger hook.
 

Pineapple

Just Smile.
Its not bad. Though, it didn't pull me in like I would like. ill wait around and read more. But it wasnt all to, interesting.
 

Duwenbasden

Ver 6 CREATE energy AS SELECT * FROM u.energy
Chapter 1 is actually the beginning, and lacks the "zest" of later chapters. ;)

When the world wanted to play with you, it played with you hard. It would never let go of you once you were fallen into the trap set up by the cruelty of this world, no matter how hard you attempted to pull yourself up. There would be no one to help you, to save you. You would be left in the trap dying all by yourself, without the hope of even seeing the beauty of the light again.

I opened up the brown piece of paper. Pressure built up the moment I tried, and the invisible force pushed on my hands harder and harder as if they were trying to forbid me from reading the instructions on the paper. I wanted to give up, but my temptation and my duty forced me to willfully continue my work. As I opened up the paper, all I saw was many tiny scribble of writing all jumbled up together into one corner of the paper. I tried to read it, but the amount of light in the area is far too little for me to see clearly. Frustrated, I put the paper into my pocket and began to examine the object.

The object was unlike any other object I had ever seen in my life: it was silver and shaped in an oddly manner. At first, it looked like a white saber; but at second glance, I could make out the shape of a hungry hawk trying to tear up something which I could not recall and eat it. The more I looked at it, the stranger the look of the object became. Convinced that the object is nothing but a good tribute to my work, I tried to store it in my pocket. But, strange sensations came up as I tried to move the object away from my eyes: I could not keep my eyes off it. My curiosity had worked on me to glance at the object even further than before. But, at last, my conscience returned and I packed the strange looking object away into my inside pocket.

I guess I could arrive at home earlier than the beginning of a new day, if the weather persists. I turned around and began my long journey back home. The sky was getting darker the further I drove; and the blinking of the stars faded little by little, until the whole sky was in a uniform shade of black. Now the sky is pitch black and home was still far away, I stepped on my accelerator and tried to beat the storm. But my efforts were futile. The wind had already started to whisper through my shut-doors, and the early raindrops had dampened my vehicle. People on the street were trying to get away from the storm: some returned to their homes, some ran into shops, while others just carried on and hope they could make it back home soon.

I continued to battle my way through the treacherous and unforgiving hurricane that was trying to level this city. But despite the effort nature tried to put on me, I simply would not give up. I remembered when I was in junior high school, some idiot was trying to jack my new toy, which I bought from my allowance money I saved since I was in grade four. I got really angry at the kid, but could still hold my temper. But when the kid got tough, my steam boiled off – he suffered two broken bones and was hospitalized for fourteen weeks, while I got a very bad suspension for three weeks. But I didn't think I was wrong: he started the argument. Why am I being punished for which I did not intend to do? Why am I the only child in the block that cannot defend herself from other people's insults?

It was almost midnight and I was still stuck on the open road trying desperately to swerve past slow traffic and get out of this storm immediately. The visibility was non-existent now, and all I could see was the front of my cars and the faint back light of the car in front of mine. This rain has had to be the worst storm in town since I was borne! Frustrated about the car in front of me, I changed my lane and raced to speed past it. Then all of a sudden, when I thought I had passed the car in front of me, the car suddenly changed lane to mine, pushing me to the other side of the road. I lost control of the car and all I remembered after that was the faint chiming of the city hall tower clock.

****************************************

It was past eight o'clock on a lazy Friday night. As usual, workers from the district went home early to spend their weekend with their family and to enjoy their life as much as possible. Soon, the entire area died down in silence. There were still a few lights dotted around the place, but the most magnificent office lights were from the highest tower in town – The Sky Palace. At the top of the tower, a man peeked out at the streets and the office buildings below while enjoying his glass of Château Gruaud-Larose 1982.

“The quiet of the night,” a man thought, “and this elegant glass of wine – the perfect mix in its class.” He grinned, while looking over the town. He wandered around the room in a rather easy and relaxing fashion. On his way, he took a glance at each of the paintings that decorated the room: a heart with a knife; a white-colored angel without wings. He walked over to one of his favorite paintings of them all: a hawk with a mouse as its prey. At last he took a final glance at each one of them and started his walk back toward his desk. He sat down on the black chair by his desk. He poured more wine into his empty glass and set it aside. He than turned his attention to his computer. The computer screen showed up a list of secret agents he wished to hire. Out of that enormous list, he spotted a familiar face on the top of it. He picked that particular person out.

Name: Sarah Man
Gender: F
Height: 5'4
Weight: 45 kg
...

As he looked further down, hesitation began to grow in his mind. Am I looking at the wrong person for the job? He fell deeply into thoughts willfully knowing that Sarah was not the ideal person for the job, but he realized that the painful aspects of the girl's relationship with one of his former cadre members would be useful for his greater idea of scheme he was planning. He selected her and began to print out the profile of his choice. Along with the paper of his demands and mission, he gave it to his ambassador and both of them exited out of the room. This will be top quality drama, he thought as he walked out of the door.
 

Pineapple

Just Smile.
t sure is more intersting then the other one. I would like to see whats next. Though, not in any hurry, i think it has to do with the type of books a read though. So its not because it was bad.

Also, just to point out, 45kg? thats about 100 pounds i think. is she that dam skinny? I know she is short but wow.
 

Halahan

To die will be an awfully big adventure.
That is much better, though add a bit more foreboding at the end with the man. Make it end a better cliff hanger... and maybe explain a bit more too... it makes you annoyed cause you know so little
 

Duwenbasden

Ver 6 CREATE energy AS SELECT * FROM u.energy
>Also, just to point out, 45kg? thats about 100 pounds i think. is she that dam
>skinny? I know she is short but wow.

This is fanfiction afterall ;) The main character is supposively shaped based on Annie, which is 5'4 and 45kg.

>it makes you annoyed cause you know so little

I think that's still one of my weakness -- explain too much on one thing and totally undermined another. I'll work on it ;)

//edit 01-27-2007: I just realized I completely missed chapter 2... sorry. :)
I woke up sometime later, but I no longer know the precise time anymore. The last thing I remembered before I passed out was the horror of the car smashing through another car on the highway, but now I didn’t have any mood to remember about the events leading to this accident. Slowly and weakly I opened my eyes, and to my surprise this was not the hospital!

I was in a large room. I turned my head and saw a lot of strange objects around my side as I tried to scan the room for any signs of activity. To my expectation, there was no one in the room except myself. I got off the table and began to explore the room in greater details. I found a door directly to my left side. I tried to open it but it would not open. Instead of wasting my remaining energy to try to pick the lock, I diverted my attention to the room itself. At first glance of the large room I spotted a spiral shaped statue at the corner of the room closest to me, but it was too dark to see clearly. I turned around and noticed a computer at the other end of the room, with its monitor brightly lit. I hastily scrolled over to the computer and tried to use it to determine where I was right now in this time space, but I found out shortly that the “computer” was only a cleverly disguised TV set. I turned my attention away from it and tried something else that could help me. The moment I turned away from the TV set I heard footsteps coming toward this room.

I watched as the doorknob slowly turns and as the wooden door slowly shifted away from its closed position, I saw two bodyguards charging in and held the door. Next I saw a man in a suit coming inside the room. The guards closed the door. I did not recognize this man. He did not look very tall or short, but his composure suggested that he was a very wealthy individual. He whispered something to one of his guards and the guard nodded and left the room. Then he turned his attention to me, began speaking.

“How are you doing today?” the man questioned me. The way he questioned seemed to be mocking me.

“Why am I here, and what did you want?” instead of answering his question, I questioned him with my own. “I had no quarrel with you.”

“Relax young lady, I didn’t bring you here for nothing. I simply wanted some cooperation from you,” the man also ignored my question. “I just wanted to discuss this task I wanted you to accomplish.” He pulled out a piece of white paper and handed it to me. “Remember this deal?”

Yes, it was the same deal that the strange man gave me at Fractor Square. Upon close examination, I found out that the reward was much higher than what the strange man had told me. “Why a higher reward?” I asked.

“Once you see the target, you will definitely change your mind about this deal,” the man replied cleanly this time without any means of avoiding the question. Without any second thoughts, I looked at my target and my heart almost stopped.

“No, I will not do this mission, no matter how much you are willing to pay,” I said while tearing the piece of paper into shreds. The man seemed to retain his composure even after I broke this deal.

“I am afraid you have no choice, my lovely lady.” This was the last thing heard from him, before a heavy blow struck my head and I passed out on the spot.

***

I woke up sometime later, but I no longer know the precise time anymore. The last thing I remembered before I passed out was the horror of the car smashing through another car on the highway, but now I didn’t have any mood to remember about the events leading to this accident.

“Oh, she is waking up!” a familiar voice was heard from the left side of my small and soft bed. “How are you feeling right now?”

I opened my eyes and took a glance. Ah, a familiar face with a familiar smile. What a nice welcome in an hospital. I did not reply in sound as I was too tired to do so. Instead, I nodded my head slightly to signal an OK. I felt a sign of relief from her.

“God blessed that you are OK! When I heard that you were involved in a car accident my heart almost stopped!” as she said that she seemed to be happy upon hearing that I was OK. I was OK, only a few concussions and bruises around here and there, nothing too concerning. This was minimal damage comparing to some of the jobs that I do.

“Who send you to the hospital anyway?” she asked, and I did not have an answer for her. I did not know anything after I passed out, and I was too tired right now to care about who was the person that sent me here. Maybe the driver of the other car? Or maybe some brave passing souls that was courageous enough to travel in the storm of that scale. I shook my head very slightly to tell her that I did not know who sent me to here. She wanted to ask more questions about the accident but a nurse came in and said that the visiting time was over and she therefore must leave the room. I waved goodbye to her as she left the room.

Once she left, I laid back and began to think about the accident in details. Who sent me to the hospital? Who rescued me? Then I remembered the affairs with the unknown man inside the large room. Could the large man be the one that sent me here? I began to question this possibility: why would a man that ordered his underling to struck be the one that saved me? I thought about this matter for some time until something very critical hit me, was this affair with the unknown all a dream, just a dream that felt real? I began to believe that this was all a dream: there was no unknown man in a shadow; there is no dark room. All of these were fabricated inside my imaginative mind. I let out a sign of relief after I assured myself.

Days flew by very slowly inside the hospital. Minutes felt like hours and days felt like weeks. During this time I tried to not think too much about the accident, but rather what should I do after I exited the hospital. Finally, today was the day I leave the hospital. My colleagues had came to escort me home and to ensure that I don’t cause anymore trouble again. They came in as I was packing my belongings and almost ready to leave. They helped in my packing even though there were almost nothing to be packed. Finally, I was ready to go and just need to finish the paperwork.

Paper? The job note! I remembered tearing up some deal in that dream, perhaps some remnant of the paper would sill be there. I searched through all my pockets in both my overcoat and my shirt.

I found nothing.

Perhaps, that incident was a dream after all, I thought to myself. As I finished searching my colleagues had already hired a cab. I hopped on and rode home. Nothing too special about this trip neither.
 

Duwenbasden

Ver 6 CREATE energy AS SELECT * FROM u.energy
Chapter 2

Deception is a tool used by many of the greatest detective and villains alike. However, many believed that only the villains will ever use the art of deception to do their evil bidding. This misconception often bring the thought that some detective are practicing the art of the dark side. The truth is, unsurprisingly, that when solving a serious case involving the biding of some ingenious mind, sometimes one has to fight fire with fire in order to outsmart and outperform his or her targets.

Saturday morning, what a beautiful sunrise view from the window of my bedroom. What else could ruin a day with such a great start? Slowly I rose from my bed, as not to disturb the quiet beauty of this magnificent morning. However, before I even had the chance to serve myself some gourmet breakfast to suit this beautiful combination, the phone rang, thus completely disrupting this perfect balance of comfort. Muttering under my breath, I went for the ringing phone and answered it.

“Sarah! Alexander informed me a moment ago that something bad had just happened to Dr. Winchester! You better come and see for yourself! Alexander and I will meet you at Fractor Square in fifteen minutes. Don’t be late!” Before I could utter out even a single word, the line was dead once again, with the usual disturbing and annoying tone.

That was my fellow agent, Danielle, also one of my closest friend around this city. Her responsiveness to everything sometimes makes me wonder what kind of vast network of connection she had got in and around the city. After the phone went dead, I immediately went back to my bedroom to change myself into something that could be seen by the outside world without being labeled as an alien.

After dressing up properly, I sped out the door, hoping to get to Fractor Square and meet Danielle as soon as possible. However, as I opened the door, there was a statue in front of my door – the statue of a spinal. However, as I had no time to examine the object in close detail for the time being, I put the statue inside my apartment and locked the door. Soon enough I was down at the lobby of my apartment. At the lobby, the security guard said hello to me. I replied back in good gesture. As soon as I sped out the door though, I realized that this was not the old security personnel I was used to seeing. I had never seen this person before. A new security, I thought. After that I went straight to Fractor Square without much further thought into the details.

Since I totally destroyed my car in my last attempt to go home, I have to call a cab to Fractor Square, the cab ride was rather smooth today.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

The fog was setting in once the cab sluggishly pulled up to the street adjacent to Fractor Square. Once I got out of the cab, I felt a cold chill down my spine. Bloody weather, I wish I had got more warmth than what I had. The snow was blowing straight to my face, making it hard to see anything in front of me. As I walked toward the central plaza, the shops on both sides of the path seemed to show less and less life. Maybe it was too far from the road to attract any kind of potential customers, I said to myself.

A crowd was visible once I entered the central area. Must be a very bad thing, I said to myself. I called out my presence and tried to squeeze through the crowd, but no one in the crowd seemed to care about my duty nor my position. With a lot of force and pushing, I finally managed to throw myself into the inner area. Inside the police line, I saw Danielle and Alexander already on the case. I slowly approached them. Danielle seemed startled by my approach.

“Where had you been?” Danielle questioned me in a mocking yet warm tone. “You took too long.”

“Sorry, but I was stuck in traffic,” I told Danielle my troubles of not getting here on time. “The roads to Fractor Square was jam packed with cars with people trying to get to work. So I took the opportunity of not driving on the freeway. The Artisia freeway was notorious for that.”

“That is good to know,” Danielle replied in a monotone voice. She did not seem to care for the traffic congestions. “Dr. Winchester was murdered by someone.”

Dr. Winchester was murdered? A chill sent down my spine and all the way into my feet. Who would do something as satanic as murdering a loving man of his golden age? I thought to myself as I slowly walked toward Dr. Winchester’s body. Why would someone kill Dr. Winchester? Upon seeing the blood soaked clothing that covered the once living scientist, I saw two gunshot wounds to the head and to the heart – two fatal shots. This rose a question inside my head: Why would they shoot him two times when one of them can take his life? More and more questions flooded my head as I looked more closely until a forensic investigator interrupted me.

“Excuse me madam, but I need to start my work here,” Alexander asked very politely.

I looked up and there he was, standing there, the forensic investigator and Danielle’s boyfriend. Even though they did not like to admit it in public nor want it to hinder their investigations, from the way he looked at Danielle was a giveaway of their relationship. Alexander always gave a very serious look at everyone working with him, but once his eyes set upon Danielle, his seriousness suddenly gave away like a wooden plank in raging water. Danielle looked back at him, giving a slight smile but gave no further emotions. She was a strong and hard woman. Maybe her seriousness was influenced by Alexander?

“What is the cause of death, Alexen?” I asked the investigator.

“Two gunshot wounds to vital organs, right now I can’t determine which one is the fatal one,” Alexander stated in a voice like every other one. “From the scene and the areas of the blood, I would hypothesize that the wound to the head was the first one, thus ending his life; the second one was there to make sure he would not live through it. Whoever did this must want Dr. Winchester to die.”

I nodded at the response as Danielle suddenly walked beside me, looking at the body. “What is the gun type that killed Dr. Winchester?” Danielle asked Alexander, which he replied in a doubtful tone.

“I cannot determine the gun the murderer used based on the bullets until I examine it in close in my laboratory.” Alexander got up to his feet and turned to us. “I will have the results to you ladies as soon as I finish the tests.” As soon as he finished the sentence, he turned around and headed back to his squad car. We headed back to the main street and to Danielle’s car, since Danielle asked me if I wanted a ride. To not pass through this opportunity of saving money, I gladly accepted. This will be a tough one, I thought to myself as I took a final glance at the crime scene.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Darkness covered the neighborhood of St. Doria as the peace of the night fell, turning the once green parks and playgrounds into a black morass that seemed to fit perfectly with the darkest horror tales. Yet, nothing had happened to the neighborhood in the past few months saved for a few vandals and burglary. In the apartment on Rupert Street, Sarah was studying the murder case of Dr. Winchester when the phone rang.

Who would call at this time of the day? I thought to myself as I leaned toward the right side of my desk and lazily picked up the phone. The other side felt a bit strange.

“Hello, Sarah speaking. Who is it?” I spoke politely to the other side of the line.

“Good evening Ms. Man, my boss wanted to talk to you,” the other side replied. “Please hold while I transfer this call to him.

Must be the telephone company, I thought to myself. I have had many troubles with them lately that they don’t even ask for me anymore because they know it will be me. I waited for about two minutes until finally a voice from the other side was heard.

“Good evening, Ms. Man. How are you today?” The other side greeted me with a slightly mocking tone.

It is the mysterious man again. He left six messages on my voice mail today alone. How come no body ever leave me alone when all I wanted was peace and quiet? “What do you want from me?” I asked with a touch of disgust.

“Nothing much, just to ask you if you are going to comply to my second offer,” he answered my question with a tone so even that it seemed insulting. “I know you are into money. It will be a shame to see it all go away.”

“I gave a thought about it, and most likely I am going to say no. No amount of money will force me to do this kind of thing,” I gave him a cool reply, but he seemed to be totally immune to my taunting.

“No? Remember, you are losing a lot of money if you turn this down,” he said. “I will give you more time, and more... Should I say ‘convincing’?”

“No,” I yelled and hung up immediately, but I heard faint laughter on the other side. Strange fellow, I must say.
Spell checked only.
 

Master

Thou shall be helped by...The Black Adder!
Awesome story! you are talented.

Shouldn't the tittle be "An original story, etc."?
Suspence intrigues me...+rep.
 

Halahan

To die will be an awfully big adventure.
Great. Nice balance of everything. the start is a bit awkward. Many writers use those kind of things. You can just state it. (The morning and everything).
 

Duwenbasden

Ver 6 CREATE energy AS SELECT * FROM u.energy
Pineapple: Thanks you.

Master: Thanks

Halahan: Yes, I should cut down on lengthy intro to every chapter.

Chapter 3

The midday sun was shining through the sunroof of the Port Deyes Police Headquarters, and I was taking a break from my very intense and busy work here in the office. I was about to leave for Dr. Winchester’s laboratory to collect evidence, but I was waiting for Danielle to show up so I treated myself to a very special break in the middle of the day. However, this break was short lived as the speed and efficiency of Danielle’s work habit was fully shown at this time.

“Wake up Sarah, we are going to the laboratory right now,” Danielle gave me a slight poke on the elbow. I just mumbled. “Let’s go while the evidence are still inside the lab!”

I grumbled and slowly got up from the comfy couch that held my meeting with Sandman. I looked at Danielle with my drowsy eyes, and saw her staring at me with her bright and dark eyes that seemed to pierce through my own. I joined the group of investigators and specialists. Danielle gave me her final stare before heading for the exit. I followed closely, so that I could just follow the leader and not worrying about where I should go next.

The laboratory was located just outside of Genson, a suburb of the metropolitan area of Port Deyes. This quiet little area of the busy city was home to a significant number of scientific research facilities, including the most magnificent university in Condica – The University of Condica. Dr. Winchester’s laboratory was just a few blocks from the gates of the University. The trip took no less than 20 min to complete, thanks partly to Danielle decision to drive on the busiest highway in Condica.

At the reception, the seemingly friendly lady warmly welcomed us to the laboratory and begged us to help clear the case of the death of Dr. Winchester. Danielle and I sincerely but firmly ensured the lady that the case would be solved and the murderer brought to justice.

Once we were heading toward the main laboratory, escorted by a shady looking man of his middle years, Danielle made no visible efforts to hesitate, she questioned the shady looking man of anything that could relate to the night of the murder, and questioned him about any suspicious activities that occurred around the time of the murder. However, the shady man declined to answer any of the questions, and insisted that he knew nothing about the night of the murder, since he was on sick leave for six weeks and had only recently returned to work, after the murder of Dr. Winchester. Danielle raised an eyebrow, but questioned the shady looking man no more.

After about five to six minute of traveling through the confusing and complex building, we finally arrived at the main laboratory, where the late Dr. Winchester worked about his daily research. Danielle turned around at the door and instructed everyone in the group to thoroughly search the lab for anything that could involve in resolving the crime. I immediately turned toward the office, where Dr. Winchester used to do his paper work and his memory saving apparatuses. However, despite my greatest efforts in hoping to find a single piece of evidence that could lead to an arrest, I found nothing of interest inside the office. The only thing I found was a report that described the recent researches of Dr. Winchester, which Danielle decided to keep as evidence. I had no idea why Danielle want to keep such a normal piece of report and not the other hundreds of reports written by Dr. Winchester.

Once out of the office, Danielle and I begin to closely examine the vast laboratory area. I was astonish by the engineers that designed this building, and how they managed to fit such an enormous piece of hollow area inside the building and managed to keep the building standing. However, Danielle was not interested in the infrastructure of the building. What I called boring work was Danielle’s greatest strength – the terrible job of searching this area for a single piece of evidence. Danielle gave me a raised eyebrow and told me to start searching with her. I nodded ever so slightly. Oh, what a job this became.

Suddenly, Alexander stormed in the room. As usual as his handsome self, he headed straight toward Danielle and I. Danielle greeted Alexander warm.

“What is the current status on the search?” Alexander asked my fellow investigator. “What was found and what can be concluded at this point?”

Danielle’s reply was short but very informative. “Currently Sarah found the only piece of useful evidence that this room can offer. Take a look at it.” She handed the treasure I dug up to Alexander carefully, as not to leave fingerprints on these important evidences. Alexander looked at the title page and begin to read the content.

“It was a report presented by Dr. Winchester. Sarah found it inside the office,” Danielle continued. “It described the latest breakthrough and innovations of Dr. Winchester’s research.”

Flipping through the pages rather hastily, Alexander nodded in response to Danielle’s information. “Very interesting. Dr. Winchester had been onto something completely radical and may be influential tomorrow.”

After Alexander gave the paper to the other investigator, Danielle and I continued our near fruitless search for any other objects that might be helpful in our search for the murderer of Dr. Winchester. Despite out greatest efforts, nothing else came up remotely interesting. After a while, Danielle finally suggested concluding the search, which I immediately agreed to do so, not only because searching through this vast laboratory is too great of a task, but this place gave me a horrible feeling about the darkness surrounding it...
Spell checked.
 

Halahan

To die will be an awfully big adventure.
Very few if none grammer and spelling errors I saw, and its much better then first two chapters. keep up the good work ;)
 

Duwenbasden

Ver 6 CREATE energy AS SELECT * FROM u.energy
Pineapple: Get on with it! :D
Cordel: Fixed.
Halahan: Thanks ;)

In case you didn't catch it, I skipped chapter 2 when I posted. It has been reposted (before chapter 3).
 

Pineapple

Just Smile.
-"Who would call at this time of the day" if its night time you could use "Who would call this late at night" the way you worded it, it sounds like the afternoon.

-"saw her staring at me with her bright and dark eyes that seemed to pierce through my own" bright and dark eyes? You got a conflict there, i know what your trynig to say but it comes off wierd.

Good job though ^^.
 

Master

Thou shall be helped by...The Black Adder!
>In case you didn't catch it, I skipped chapter 2 when I posted. It has been reposted (before chapter 3).

Yes, but no wonder we didn't notice it. We were feeling...magical ;)
 

Duwenbasden

Ver 6 CREATE energy AS SELECT * FROM u.energy
Pineapple: Righto! Fixed to sound better.
Master: I thought you're always magical :D.

Chapters restructure (for the third time)... We are still in chapter 3 after this ;)

Evening of Port Deyes, so beautiful yet so majestic. This marvelous collection of beauty, known since the ancient times, had attracted many to this behemoth port city of Condica. Very little was known about the city’s inner secrets, such as my laboratory at the University of Condica.

My lab, my research palace, so vast and so powerful that even the university invited me to teach in its loathsome grounds. Ha! Offering such a pitiful sandbox in their so called university laboratories was an insult to my marvelous intelligence and the knowledge dwelled within me. Their hideous playgrounds were no match against my ingenious inventions marketplace. This glorious palace of scientific studies is half my home, my chateau in the midst of the jealous scientific community.

I tell you now, little one, my latest breakthrough will make me, Dr. Winchester, to be on par, if not better, than Edison himself! Tell me I am not the greatest inventor in the world! Tell me!... tell me...

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

“Sarah,” I heard somebody was calling me, while gently nudging my shoulders. “Sarah, wake up. Are you still here?”

I realized Danielle was talking to me. Somehow my thoughts carried me away from reality and brought me somewhere far beyond this usual dimension.

“Yes, I’m still here,” I spoke up, but still quite softly compared to Danielle’s seemingly thunderous tone. “Sorry, I was carried away.”

“Nice to know,” Danielle said with her usual near flat tone. “We were finished with this place. We are leaving.”

I nodded lightly and looked toward Danielle. Her gaze seemed to be mocking at my unusual clumsiness today. Maybe it was the quite unfinished business with Sandman back in headquarters. I said to myself that I should finish the business before going back to work, but looking at Danielle, I knew it will be a while until I could return to Sandman’s great sands of time.

“We are going back to Fractor Square right now to search for whatever there is left of the crime scene,” Danielle said to me. She eyes pointed directly at my own, and turned to Alexander. “I am sure there are something that we have not found in the scene yet.”

I stand corrected, Danielle was going somewhere other than the comfort of the headquarters couches. I protested against going back to Fractor Square, stating that we were wasting our time by going back there, as I was sure there is nothing worthy left in that foul place. As I expected, Danielle disagreed.

“There must be something left there,” Danielle snapped at me. “An Condica Agency investigator must not let any evidences, hidden or hard to find, to slip through our hands.” She kept on talking while we headed for the door. What a talker, I thought to myself.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Fractor Square, the main crime scene, which I sweared I searched thoroughly yesterday, lied in front of my view. Those ancient stone columns still lied in the square, despite their long history. I hoped they could talk and tell us what happened on that faithful night of Dr. Winchester’s murder, so I don’t have to investigate it and be standing in this sunlight. However, Danielle seemed to be undeterred by this heat, and she dashed straight toward the police tape. She called this “efficiency”, but I call it “running head first into work”.

At the checkpoint, Danielle flashed her identification card to the police at the gate. The seemingly clumsy policeman saw the card, and promptly moved out of the way of a battering ram, moving at nothing but the center of the square. I slowly showed my card to the policeman and he also very slowly moved out of my way. Slow for a slow; and fast for a fast, I presumed.

Once rendezvous with Danielle, I asked her about the possibility of ever finding another piece, however minor it is, of evidence in this tainted place. She said to me: “Of course we can. I have a strange feeling that the most critical piece of evidence is lying in this square right now and waiting for us to recover it.” I spoke no more.

I began another thorough search through this spirited place. Tracing each cubblestone block and each surface of the columns, I still could not find anything of importance to this murder. Danielle must be exaggerating again, I thought to myself. No one in their right minds would search a place twice in a day.

I turned around, and saw a shaded place under the roof of the storm shelter. I heard that the place was haunted since the ancient times and no one had ever dared to even come remotely close to that place anymore. However, I saw Danielle moving toward that place. I picked up my pace and walked toward her.

“Are you sure you want to go in there?” I asked Danielle. “Everyone knows the storm shelter in Fractor Square is haunted. There are evil spirits dwelling in that cursed place.” I tried to save her from being consumed by the spirits in the shelter, but she only nodded slightly and carried on. Reluctantly, I followed her inside.

Under the roof of this foul looking and marvelous place, the pillars that held up the roof seemed to be hissing at us, telling us to go somewhere else. Even the look of this place were telling us this place is filled with darkness and death, and warned us to leave immediately. Immediately, I spotted something unusual i n this dimly lit place.

“There is traces of blood on the floor,” I announced. “Over by the north pillar.” Danielle and Alexander looked, and nodded in agreement. Alexander led us to the spot and immediately kneeled beside the blood stain.

“Looks like a recent event,” Alexander said. “While not certain, the murder of Dr. Winchester might took place here and not in the open. However, I must conduct more test to confirm this.” He took a sample of the dried blood from the floor and transferred it into a canister of unknown origins.

I wouldn’t trust Alexander about his hypothesis, as we all knew that Dr. Winchester was murdered at the center of the Square and not in this cursed place. Who will kill in this place without being possessed by the spirits? We searched this little place a little more beforing concluding that nothing of further importance could be found here. At the exit, Danielle gently tapped on my shoulder and smiled at me.

“I told you we would find something previously unknown here,” Danielle said to me. Finally, my doubt about this trip slowly faded away. I nodded in agreement.
once again, only spell checked.
 
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    We can fix that.
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    Chat should show on the sidebar when not logged in now.
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    GENERAL CHIT CHAT, YOU ARE A BOLD ONE
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    this new chatbox is great and the forum software update is great too
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    Something tells me we might be able to customize the chatbox a bit, considering that there's a gap under every message.
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