While at Sunday School

[Ninva]

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Spoiler

Writer's Comments:
This isn't a true story, but it's funny jazz that's happened before. You see a plump Sunday school teacher bragging about her faith and her love for children, and then you see some kid do something disgusting behind her back while she's talking.
Classic. :^D

 

[Insane!]

you, i mean "that person" exposed the truth about her

a true classic

i wonder why other people dont take the time to read this.
this also is an exposure of other people in the classical world we know as "reality."

 

[Ninva]

you, i mean "that person" exposed the truth about her

a true classic

i wonder why other people dont take the time to read this.
this also is an exposure of other people in the classical world we know as "reality."

Sometimes I wish I could read sarcasm on the internet, but I can't.

I think a lot of people read this, but not too many people enjoyed it.

 

[Pineapple]

eh, its not bad.

change intercourse to sex. It sounded awkward reading it like that.

 

[King TonGoll]

i hate teachers like that, thankfully im a atheist so my parants hate me too much to bother with sunday school. lol

 

[Fatmankev]

I think your story is well-written. Something about it grabbed me, and compelled me to read on, and it was certainly an interesting little story with a nice moral behind it. I think you'd be wise to alter the ending slightly, specifically when the fat woman asks, “Oh right-right. Would you like to ask me anything else before church begins?” This made me think that she was about to go to church, which made the ending much more confusing. I think if you clarified it, even just a little bit more, then it would have been an even more satisfying read.

 

[Halahan]

yeah, change intercourse to sex and as I completely agree with Fatmankev (“Oh right-right. Would you like to ask me anything else before church begins?” This made me think that she was about to go to church, which made the ending much more confusing. I think if you clarified it, even just a little bit more, then it would have been an even more satisfying read.)

 

[Ninva]

I think your story is well-written. Something about it grabbed me, and compelled me to read on, and it was certainly an interesting little story with a nice moral behind it. I think you'd be wise to alter the ending slightly, specifically when the fat woman asks, “Oh right-right. Would you like to ask me anything else before church begins?” This made me think that she was about to go to church, which made the ending much more confusing. I think if you clarified it, even just a little bit more, then it would have been an even more satisfying read.

Ah, alright. I will see what I can do. Thanks for the critique.

*change intercourse to sex

I think the reporter would use the world intercourse instead of sex. Plus, the word sex sounds immature to me. The reporter wasn't immature in this story... or at least I didn't see the reporter as an immature young man.

 

[Halahan]

I think he would try to be casual... well... we don't know the characters the best so it's your call

 

[Pineapple]

"hey... are you talking about intercourse?"

It sounds stupid. Sex isn't an immature word. it just like you wouldn't say things like "Would you like some hydrogen-two-Oxide?" it is lameness in a can.

 

[Halahan]

that's the argument I was searching for but couldn't find!

 

[Ninva]

"hey... are you talking about intercourse?"

It sounds stupid. Sex isn't an immature word. it just like you wouldn't say things like "Would you like some hydrogen-two-Oxide?" it is lameness in a can.

Just because you're so cultured to the word sex and its wonders doesn't mean other people use that word all over the country. Also, that last quote made me laugh, and if I have the chance, I'll put it in one of my stories.

 

[Fatmankev]

For the record, when I read your story and the part about "intercourse," I sat back and thought about it for a moment before deciding that it really didn't sound too bad in that instance. Ninva, go ahead and keep it, and to Hell with the rest of them!

 

[Halahan]

I don't like it, but It doesn't ruin the entire story

 

[Pineapple]

Just because you're so cultured to the word sex and its wonders doesn't mean other people use that word all over the country. Also, that last quote made me laugh, and if I have the chance, I'll put it in one of my stories.

and just becuase you think the word sex is so dirty and wrong doesn't mean you are right. Unless they are doing sometihng scientific, or trying to joke round a little, most people would find the use of the word intercourse wierd and missplaced.

you wouldn't see someone on the news saying "They were caught having intercourse" its "They were caught having sex"

its not "Welcome to Intercourse Ed." its "Welcome to Sex Ed."

 

[Ninva]

and just becuase you think the word sex is so dirty and wrong doesn't mean you are right.

Now, when did I say that?

 

[thewrongvine]

lol tat was funny, i like the end when she just turns pale and you're like "uh huh" and you walk away. good job

 

[duyen]

I didn't really get it... Did he make the Sunday School miss church?

 

[thewrongvine]

no, see the woman is like bragging about her faith and how she always goes to church everyday and stuff, but there behind her are kids doing like "bad" things and she says she goes everyday but she's not there today. Something like tat. Am i close?

EDIT 1: Sunday School is in church, its a branch of it, the school for church.

 

[Ninva]

no, see the woman is like bragging about her faith and how she always goes to church everyday and stuff, but there behind her are kids doing like "bad" things and she says she goes everyday but she's not there today. Something like tat. Am i close?

That's about right.