Dilemma: When facing these decisions, how do I cope with it? Coins don't work here.

[tom_mai78101]

I have this dilemma, which may affect the rest of my life. This is quite long.

Under these situations, I just can't bear with myself and use the simple coin technique.

After taking the college enrollment entrance exams here in Taiwan, I don't know if I should move back to America and take the entrance exams over there, or stay and continue to study and live in Taiwan for the rest of my life.

I did consider marriage in my future life, as I'm comfortable with having a spouse that's from Taiwan, but I'm not used to having a spouse living in America. Or marrying to a female who is not related to Asian. Or marrying to a female who is related to Asian, but can't seem to live comfortably in America.
Or staying as a bachelor (Which I really hate to have).

On top of that, if I am going to study in America, I might be afraid of many things I'll be going to face over there. I haven't been in America for over 7 years, and have forgotten many things that I learned when I was in elementary school. Even my English is somewhat lagging behind.

If I am going to study here in Taiwan, I will lose my chance to study in America, and I might not be able to find a spouse, due to low birth rates and high divorce rates. I might not be able to enjoy a life as a father for more than 10 years until death. Also probably due to the economic state, which may last a bit more than a year from now, I might not be getting along easily with other people. I don't know how to make bonds with others. Even if this situation is in America, I still can't understand how to make friends with others.

If wanting to obtain a higher degree (like a Ph.D), I don't know what place to choose that's suitable for me to easily obtain it. Staying here in Taiwan would make me lose my English, and staying over there in America would make me having to restart everything, from the basics of Math, Science, vocabulary, and other English terms. I missed out a lot of things, so I'm actually foolish and not as smart as what you think of me.

So, with gratitude, can anyone give me a few suggestions? Of course I know that I think too much, but in the long run, I will be facing such problems in my life. Thanks in advance, (Weak smile).

 

[enouwee]

If I am going to study here in Taiwan, I will lose my chance to study in America

What are you expecting out of studies in the United States or living over there?

I might not be able to find a spouse, due to low birth rates and high divorce rates.

Actually, I'd say that high divorce rates improve your chances to find at least one ex-wife to marry (or more afterwards) due to the high turn-around.

If wanting to obtain a higher degree (like a Ph.D), I don't know what place to choose that's suitable for me to easily obtain it.

Why would you seek higher education? You haven't even started college and don't seem to have set yourself a goal or found a path you'd really like to engage on. Give it a try, you'll figure out all by yourself whether long studies are something you could master or not.

So, with gratitude, can anyone give me a few suggestions?

Que sera sera? Carpe diem?

 

[AceHart]

Additionally, between "it all stays as is" and "completely start over", your only option that makes sense is "completely start over", i.e. move!

 

[BANANAMAN]

Personally i don't think getting a Ph.D is that important in one's life (maybe because people say im an under achiever) You should think long and hard about these decisions as these are the types that can change everything in your life.
Ask your closest friends,family members anyone who knows you almost inside and out for there opinions (im guessing you already did this but im just saying)
Examine yourself and your current situation and ask yourself this question.

"What does my heart tell me that's reasonably realistic to achieve?"

And remember you can't blame anyone else if you make a wrong decision in your life because ultimately it was only you that made that choice and everything else just offered you several choices to choose from.

Also:It also doesn't hurt to flip a coin just to see if luck's with your choice.

 

[tom_mai78101]

What are you expecting out of studies in the United States or living over there?

Expecting myself to be able to work in the video game industry. Microsoft may be a good choice.

Actually, I'd say that high divorce rates improve your chances to find at least one ex-wife to marry (or more afterwards) due to the high turn-around.

High turn-arounds?? Do you think I am just aiming for the unrealistic of getting married just one time?

Why would you seek higher education? You haven't even started college and don't seem to have set yourself a goal or found a path you'd really like to engage on. Give it a try, you'll figure out all by yourself whether long studies are something you could master or not.

What if my purpose of living is to seek a goal that somehow keeps jumping around? What if I'm trying to seek out a spouse, but she expects me to be "more than just a man"?

Que sera sera? Carpe diem?

Uh...

Additionally, between "it all stays as is" and "completely start over", your only option that makes sense is "completely start over", i.e. move!

Life is precious, even when you know that in the mean time, you are going to die. I can't completely start over, it's just a bit too unrealistic for me.

Personally i don't think getting a Ph.D is that important in one's life... <snip>

Well, my family told me to obtain a Ph. D. He has high hopes and expectations in me. I already told him that, and he expects me to believe in "a true man's heart". Now what?

"What does my heart tell me that's reasonably realistic to achieve?"

Well, if you ask my heart, it will say that I'm able to achieve a high score in gaming. Ask it again, and he will say that I'm in need of advice, and that I should not be a guy who just play games all day long.

What kind of heart is that??

And remember you can't blame anyone else if you make a wrong decision in your life because ultimately it was only you that made that choice and everything else just offered you several choices to choose from.

Yes, sir.

Also:It also doesn't hurt to flip a coin just to see if luck's with your choice.

THTTTHTHHHHTHTHTHTTTHHHT

12 Tails, and 12 Heads. It hurts to flip one more time, after wasting up 5 minutes of my time...*sigh*

 

[FireCat]

Additionally, between "it all stays as is" and "completely start over", your only option that makes sense is "completely start over", i.e. move!

Life is precious, even when you know that in the mean time, you are going to die. I can't completely start over,it's just a bit too unrealistic for me.

No is not unrealistic,and why even think about to die? you can life up to 100 years more or less.. and what is wrong to start over?... Nothing wrong with that.. you can always go back! Well Don't be so afraid!

 

[sqrage]

THTTTHTHHHHTHTHTHTTTHHHT

12 Tails, and 12 Heads. It hurts to flip one more time, after wasting up 5 minutes of my time...*sigh*

Well why would you flip an even number of times? And your first was tails, that's what you're supposed to go with.

 

[vypur85]

Go where the wind takes you.

You seem to be financially stable, seeing that you can afford to study in the US. If I were to be you, I'd try to explore somewhere different and learn something new. But if you're financially unstable, then stay.

Why the hell are you worried about getting spouse or not? It has got nothing to do with studies. It's not necessary for you to stay after graduating in the US. And what makes you think your spouse won't like it there? Again, why are you worrying about this small stuff? (It's probably something big for you though...) Birth rates etc... all nonsense. Just some excuses you make to comfort your anxiety.

Just separate relationship and studies. If you put them together, it will just get harder to decide. You're just being anxious, which is normal to everyone. So just go with the flow. Got $$$, then go, else stay. (Probably this is just some Chinese way of thinking )

 

[esb]

Whooooaaaa....

How about one step at a time?
First, you said you want to work in the video game area. Find colleges both in America and Taiwan that offer degrees in that area. Then ask yourself if you're more comfortable in America or Taiwan. Forget the "I forgot english" and the "I have to start over". Once you choose a country to live in, worry about marrying and babies. For now, it's about you.

Sometimes the easiest choice isn't the best one. If I had the oppurtunity to go to a new country, I would. New experience.

 

[thewrongvine]

esb's advice was good.

And you know if you need any help, we're here. With the... uh, english business and all. Though I'm sure you won't need it.

For now, it's about you.

Yeah, that is important. It's not being selfish at all, it's just taking it a step at a time. Finish what you need for yourself first.

You seem to be financially stable, seeing that you can afford to study in the US.

If the money's not a problem, then just focus on one thing first - which I suggest to be yourself and studies, with family and life as a side until you finish.

Good luck! :thup:

~Hai-Bye-Vine~

 

[Sintoras]

I'd go with moving to the US. For one, its always good to try new things, no matter how scary they seem. Maybe scary is a bit strong but you know what I mean. And don't worry, your rusty english will be back to normal at no time.

You'll find friends, I'm sure you will. :thup: Neighbours, chance encounters, college, so many people to meet, someone will bound to befriend you.

And don't move somewhere to find a spouse. You can find a special someone everywhere.

Sintoras

 

[xxxtrickyxxx]

completely unrelated but... my college c++ programming instructor is from taiwan and when we try to have a conversation its like two todlers trying to communicate. my other game development instructor goes to taiwan yearly as well.

 

[tom_mai78101]

No is not unrealistic,and why even think about to die? you can life up to 100 years more or less.. and what is wrong to start over?... Nothing wrong with that.. you can always go back! Well Don't be so afraid!

I only have one chance. I can't go back to my old country once I moved out of it. Due to some restrictions and law enforcements, probably because of custody issues...

Well why would you flip an even number of times? And your first was tails, that's what you're supposed to go with.

Ah...well, we can't do anything about it. Others already have given me more advices.

Go where the wind takes you. You seem to be financially stable, seeing that you can afford to study in the US. If I were to be you, I'd try to explore somewhere different and learn something new. But if you're financially unstable, then stay.

Hm...I haven't checked that yet. Good point...

Why the hell are you worried about getting spouse or not?...<snip> (Probably this is just some Chinese way of thinking )

Well, unfortunately, it's not just some Chinese way, it's actually a hybrid kind of way. Guess I'm thinking a bit too ahead of my time...

Whooooaaaa.... How about one step at a time? First, you said you want to work in the video game area. Find colleges both in America and Taiwan that offer degrees in that area. Then ask yourself if you're more comfortable in America or Taiwan. Forget the "I forgot english" and the "I have to start over". Once you choose a country to live in, worry about marrying and babies. For now, it's about you. Sometimes the easiest choice isn't the best one. If I had the oppurtunity to go to a new country, I would. New experience.

Even though it's a new experience, I get this weird old feeling of having butterflies in my stomach wherever I go. Probably chronic, but I can't tell.

And you know if you need any help, we're here. With the... uh, english business and all. Though I'm sure you won't need it.

Well, if I were to try and find myself a career in America, would that counts as the "English Business"?

I'd go with moving to the US. For one, its always good to try new things, no matter how scary they seem. Maybe scary is a bit strong but you know what I mean. And don't worry, your rusty english will be back to normal at no time.

I hope so. I just keep feeling that I won't be able to catch up with each of you guys, especially in verbal speech and reaction time. I have to hear what words are being said, translate it in my head, and then I have to pick out vocabulary words, then re-arrange the order to make it formal, then speak it out from the beginning.

When you're about to speak a language you're not native at, would you have this feeling in your head?

completely unrelated but... my college c++ programming instructor is from taiwan and when we try to have a conversation its like two todlers trying to communicate. my other game development instructor goes to taiwan yearly as well.

Well, I heard that he has to be there constantly and live there for more than half a year long in order to get used to speaking fluently with our language. Then I recalled an article about brain functions and languages, and it said that English uses one part of the brain, but Chinese, Korean, Mongolian, and Japanese uses a different part of the brain. When one reads a different and not-usually-used language, the brain will stimulate the part where it usually lacks sufficient signals, and regrow a bit of the brain muscles to retrieve the weak signals and correctly interpret it.

Same "feeling" for me, I can't seem to retrieve the signals whenever I want to talk to somebody in English.

 

[thewrongvine]

So has our advice helped you?

~Hai-Bye-Vine~

 

[Tom Jones]

Must you study in the US? Denmark has one of the best educational systems in the world, and we're in desperate need of educated labour. And you don't even have to bother about learning danish, in universities 98% of the lectures are in english, all of the books you'll get will definately be in english. Also the women here are really really beautiful, and they love foreigners (though I will not guarantee that those are marriage material)! You don't have to worry about the language barrier either, most danes speaks english more or less fluently. See you here? I think so :thup:

 

[Knight7770]

Must you study in the US? Denmark has one of the best educational systems in the world, and we're in desperate need of educated labour. And you don't even have to bother about learning danish, in universities 98% of the lectures are in english, all of the books you'll get will definately be in english. Also the women here are really really beautiful, and they love foreigners (though I will not guarantee that those are marriage material)! You don't have to worry about the language barrier either, most danes speaks english more or less fluently. See you here? I think so :thup:

Related: http://www.denmark.dk/en
Maybe you should check it out.

 

[Tom Jones]

The above link confirms the point I made about the langauge barrier:
Our official site can't even be viewed in danish :nuts:

 

[tom_mai78101]

Well, the problem isn't solved, as I have to make a choice of where I should stay forever. For example (fictional): Since Japan can allow foreigners with passports other than Japan to live there and have families in their land, maybe that's where I'm considering to stay.

I need to find a place where it has a strong potential in the video gaming industry. A place where I can easily go abroad and study to my heart's content. And a place where I can live in peace. Natural disasters don't count, I died because of natural disaster, I died happily. I can't blame nature.

What else should I consider, other than those mentioned in the first post?

To Tom Jones: I'm much afraid of cultural conflicts.

 

[Knight7770]

I'm much afraid of cultural conflicts.

If you're afraid of those, you can't really go anywhere besides places where your culture exists.

 

[tom_mai78101]

Well, I figured we all have some stereotypical impressions about other kinds of people. Some are aggressive, some are just due to misunderstandings...