General How should a parent discipline their children?

[Cornface]

...If you discipline somebody, you care for them (this is talking on a parent-child relationship, your trump card seems to be applying it to outside of these situations)

You're hillarious, you don't need to slap your kid to discipline them.

 

[thewrongvine]

Well, discipline is "training to act in accordance with rules".
So... what if the child doesn't obey you? What if he doesn't listen to your talking? What if you take his toys away and he misbehaves even more? Then what?

I'm just saying, being peaceful doesn't always work.

~Hai-Bye-Vine~

 

[Cornface]

Well, discipline is "training to act in accordance with rules".
So... what if the child doesn't obey you? What if he doesn't listen to your talking? What if you take his toys away and he misbehaves even more? Then what?

I'm just saying, being peaceful doesn't always work.

~Hai-Bye-Vine~

It doesn't, but you don't need to physically punish the kid. Why not just say, "Well then boy, no Xbox for you in one week."
or how about
"Kiddo, Why dont you stay in your room for the rest of the evening?"

 

[thewrongvine]

It doesn't, but you don't need to physically punish the kid. Why not just say, "Well then boy, no Xbox for you in one week."
or how about
"Kiddo, Why dont you stay in your room for the rest of the evening?"

lol, I just said, what if he doesn't listen,
Hide his Xbox? He'll find it, if he can't he misbehave even more, maybe break some of your things. Staying in his room? He won't even listen to that, and if he does, he'll just sneak out or something. I'm saying this stuff from experience... some parents' friends I know and their kids...
Even if the parents are parenting bad, the point is that, if they've already done bad, they need to change their relationship, but you need a sudden shock to make them focus, since they're already not caring.

~Hai-Bye-Vine~

 

[Cornface]

l
~Hai-Bye-Vine~

So, what makes you think he will listen more because you slap him? I think that would just make him even more disobedient.
And you can always sell his xbox, don't give the kid his money (if he recieves any from his parents) or whatever.
And why would you need a shock? Why not just make it slow and progressive so they can both adapt to the change in a good way.

 

[thewrongvine]

Slow and progessive work tends to be better on the positive side, for human character at least. Why would they slowly start turning better? I see your point, like drug rehab, but I meant a sudden shock as in realization. Yes, everything works on progression, but it all starts from one shock that changes their mind. They have to suddenly understand that they were wrong in order for them to be good. If they just slowly start acting better each day without ever truly admitting it or realizing it, they could just be lying, or turn bad the next day.
Well, I'm just saying this from quite a few kids I know (old and young) that aren't exactly the best. And for all of those children, there's never any physical punishment. They aren't afraid of the parents. So what then, when words can't help? Like even if you take away the means for them to be bad, it doesn't matter, because once again, it's all in the mind. Even if they're not behaving bad on the outside, if they're thinking bad on the inside, it makes no difference.

~Hai-Bye-Vine~

 

[esb]

Physical punishment does one hell of a job. As in, it does work. Yelling does it too. And while I've had my fair share, I dislike my dad. But I have to say it worked, I am disciplined like he wanted me to. Even though now a days I yell back or w/e, but I behave because that's part of my own character.

 

[NightShade]

If you don't want a kid to have access to virtual things, it's called a password.
If you don't want a kid to have access to something physical, it's called a key.

A good slap or spank every so often will normally get the massage across so you really shouldn't use anything more.

If your kid is acting nice and all but is still the devil at heart, it doesn't really affect you since he's still acting nice.

Naturally if your trying to teach your kid that doing something is dangerous for them then just let them try something similar and when they hurt themselves they can make the connection.

 

[thewrongvine]

If you don't want a kid to have access to virtual things, it's called a password.
If you don't want a kid to have access to something physical, it's called a key.

A good slap or spank every so often will normally get the massage across so you really shouldn't use anything more.

If your kid is acting nice and all but is still the devil at heart, it doesn't really affect you since he's still acting nice.

Naturally if your trying to teach your kid that doing something is dangerous for them then just let them try something similar and when they hurt themselves they can make the connection.

All but the last part is just terrible parenting, lol. That's saying "as long as the kid doesn't bother me, I'm fine" and you don't even care about them, ha.

~Hai-Bye-Vine~

 

[NightShade]

what are you supposed to do?

you don't even care about them, ha.

not sure where you got that from...

 

[ElderKingpin]

a parent should be proactive, not reactive.

If you let them do something wrong, and it scars them for life. Well there goes your plan.

 

[Slapshot136]

what are you supposed to do?

not let them experiment with dangerous/potentially dangerous things in the first place, rather then letting them do that and then after they lose a finger/etc. say "did you learn anything from that"?

anyways, I think physical punishment leads to the "kid acting nice but hating you deep down" more then anything else, it's a quick-fix but not really sustainable for the long run

Even though now a days I yell back or w/e

so basically physical punishment lead to yelling back, which will turn into fighting back.. etc.

also, from all those households that have a kid shoot a parent, how many of them were yelled at/physically punished? personally I would love to see that statistic, but I would argue that it's definitely higher then in households where physical punishment is not used

I think raising them on some sort of "points" system (or money) is better, then you have something they were trained to care about, so they listen to you more

 

[NightShade]

that's why I said to let them do something similar, let (note that I say let, not encourage, kids will do these things by them selves, all you have to do is a small lack of action for a short period of time) them get a small cut.
they will make the connection cutting=bad and cutting off finger would=very bad.

being over-protective really isn't good. being under-protective isn't good either, but a little bit of slight pain will let them get scared of pain (which to my understanding is a good thing).

I say physical punishment should be used in small amounts when kids are young, to help establish your dominent role. a spank or two won't make a kid dislike you.

 

[thewrongvine]

that's why I said to let them do something similar, let (note that I say let, not encourage, kids will do these things by them selves, all you have to do is a small lack of action for a short period of time) them get a small cut.
they will make the connection cutting=bad and cutting off finger would=very bad.

being over-protective really isn't good. being under-protective isn't good either, but a little bit of slight pain will let them get scared of pain (which to my understanding is a good thing).

I say physical punishment should be used in small amounts when kids are young, to help establish your dominent role. a spank or two won't make a kid dislike you.

That's what I've been saying...
I just said like a few spanks when needed, but not like getting hit every day obviously.
And for the like cutting fingers and what not... that's not like "bad" behavior, that's an accident rofl. You're not gonna' be like "oh you cut your finger off, I'm gonna slap yo face!"

~Hai-Bye-Vine~

 

[ElderKingpin]

"I think raising them on some sort of "points" system (or money) is better, then you have something they were trained to care about, so they listen to you more."

And what happens when that motivation goes away. Its like in DC, we are paying kids to be good in school. The parent can do what they can to help the kid. But ultimately. It is the CHILD'S decision on how he acts in life.

"Oh, i was in a bad environment" that doesnt mean you have no choice in your morals.

 

[Slapshot136]

And what happens when that motivation goes away.

if you managed to raise your kids to the point where they don't care about money and life as a Buddhist monk, then I don't think you have to worry about them misbehaving

also this is for young kids, since if you raise a kid from a young age well enough, then even once they hit teenage years they will still be respectful

some more questions:

would you hit children in public as well, or only in your home? if only in your home, don't you think you shouldn't hit kids at all if you feel ashamed enough to not do it in public? and does this only apply to boys, or would you hit girls as well? should girls get "special treatment"?

 

[ElderKingpin]

"if you managed to raise your kids to the point where they don't care about money and life as a Buddhist monk, then I don't think you have to worry about them misbehaving"

Then why even begin to use money in the first place, or a "point system"

"would you hit children in public as well, or only in your home? if only in your home, don't you think you shouldn't hit kids at all if you feel ashamed enough to not do it in public? and does this only apply to boys, or would you hit girls as well? should girls get "special treatment"?"

If i can, i would. But in today's society, its not socially acceptable to hit a kid out in public. But if i had to. I Would.

Chastisement is different from hitting. people seem to mix the two up.

 

[NightShade]

If i can, i would. But in today's society, its not socially acceptable to hit a kid out in public. But if i had to. I Would.

Chastisement is different from hitting. people seem to mix the two up.

agree.

and does this only apply to boys, or would you hit girls as well? should girls get "special treatment"?

I don't see why.

then again girls are much more sensitive to social situations than boys, so you might be able to use that against them.

 

[thewrongvine]

Nothing wrong with slapping in public. You see it all the time.
And for the last time, this won't work if you confuse like physical punishment and abuse, rofl.

~Hai-Bye-Vine~

 

[Slapshot136]

And for the last time, this won't work if you confuse like physical punishment and abuse.

there is a very fine line between the two, one that is stepped over very often - so if you encourage physical punishment, your also indirectly causing more abusive situations

Then why even begin to use money in the first place, or a "point system"

because it's a helpful aid, yet one that you don't need to use forever either, think of it like a grammer book or something, once you learn it you don't need the book anymore, yet you can continue to apply it's teachings to other things, and money because it's a good thing to teach children rather then have them not worry about money and later they end up in financial problems

Nothing wrong with slapping in public. You see it all the time.

a parent slapping a kid? and slapping is what you mean by "physical punishment"?