Weird Porn industry looking for bailout

[The Helper]

Joe Francis and Larry Flynt claim the economy has made America's sexual appetite go limp.

According to TMZ.com Flynt of Hustler Magazine and Francis of Girls Gone Wild are asking the government for a $5 billion bailout, claiming the adult entertainment industry has hit hard times -- citing the fact that XXX DVD sales are down 22% from a year ago.

"With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind," Flynt says. "It's time for Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America."

Porn Kings to D.C. - Help Us Through Hard Times

Joe Francis and Larry Flynt claim the economy has made America's sexual appetite go limp, so they're going to the one place where sex is always rampant -- Congress.

www.tmz.com

 

[Tythoid]

Thers tons of alternative reasons that sales are down such as free websites or a year of lousy movies then a bad economy. If you cant sell something like sex when sex is used to sell almost everything then you suck at selling. Also Im not sure but if the government bail them out would they get a share in the business?

I dont think its a industry that should be bailed out, if a few people lose thier jobs when thier job is having sex all day then it serves them right.

 

[Ninva]

Bwahaha! If the government gives them a cent, I'm leaving for Canada.

 

[Blackveiled]

Huh? I'm hungrier for sex more than ever, I just don't use porn to solve my sexual issues..how the hell does less sales mean sexual appetite is going down? Haha.

 

[dalmauvais]

More money....

Bwahaha! If the government gives them a cent, I'm leaving for Canada.

Dude, screw that! The government is bailing everyone else out, may as well give them some money, too! Hell, I'd give the porn industry money before the auto industry. The UAW has been screwing that industry for years, and what do we do? Give them a few billion! Did you know the UAW had a deal whereby laid off employees were still entitled to receive up to 95% of their pay? WTF? Isn't the whole point of laying someone off that you can't afford to pay them, so you don't make them work? I want a job where I am laid off and still getting my money.

It's as bad as the housing bailout. Mortgage companies gave risky loans to people who they knew probably couldn't afford the house. Now the government is bailing them out. If you work at 7-11 making $7 an hour, you probably should know you can't afford a $500k home and so should the jackass who approved your mortgage request. Now my tax dollars are helping them out!? Screw that!

I pay my bills and I pay my taxes. I am responsible with my spending and what do I get? I get to bailout all these assholes!:banghead:

I want my portion of the bailout to go to the porn industry! You hear me, Congress? Since no one is bailing me out of having to work and be responsible, I want Larry to get my money! At least the porn industry provides me with something I use while I am out to sea!

 

[Varine]

Let's bail out the Alcohol industry. Screw porn... who needs that when you got a pillow and a bottle of Jeiger?

 

[WolSHaman]

People still pay for porn?

 

[ReVolver]

Since my lemonade stand has dropped from $0.75 to $0.50 a glass.
I'm also in a need of a bailout $8,000,000,000 should do.


A simple graph can show you how my business will help the economy.

 

[Jolly chap*]

Whoa. Just whoa.

 

[Hatebreeder]

Since my lemonade stand has dropped from $0.75 to $0.50 a glass.
I'm also in a need of a bailout $8,000,000,000 should do.


A simple graph can show you how my business will help the economy.

You're a genius
Maybe I should consider taking over your Marketing strategies, and make money here in Europe

 

[Prometheus]

Since my lemonade stand has dropped from $0.75 to $0.50 a glass.
I'm also in a need of a bailout $8,000,000,000 should do.


A simple graph can show you how my business will help the economy.

I'll advertise for a 20% cut.

 

[Miz]

Since my lemonade stand has dropped from $0.75 to $0.50 a glass.
I'm also in a need of a bailout $8,000,000,000 should do.


A simple graph can show you how my business will help the economy.

I would support that bail out

 

[Ninva]

Since my lemonade stand has dropped from $0.75 to $0.50 a glass.
I'm also in a need of a bailout $8,000,000,000 should do.


A simple graph can show you how my business will help the economy.

Yes, I see... What would you do with this money? Hmmmm?

 

[Prometheus]

Obviously stimulate the economy by buying lemons, water, sugar and paper cups. Oh, and some ice.

 

[ReVolver]

First thing I will do is raise my price of glass to $1.25 where the $.25 will be for taxes, once that's done I will start hiring new employees that I have fired to recover my business. The next thing is work with the sugar, cups, and lemon corps that ship my supplies to make a new deal. In the end everyone will be out of foreclosure and people in America will no longer be parched. :thup: The price of oil will only be $0.10 to the gallon and there will no longer be any global warming.

 

[Miz]

Yes, I see... What would you do with this money? Hmmmm?

Obviously Ninva is a conservative
LEMONADE STANDS ARE THE BUSINESS OF THE FUTURE

 

[Prometheus]

First thing I will do is raise my price of glass to $1.25 where the $.25 will be for taxes, once that's done I will start hiring new employees that I have fired to recover my business. The next thing is work with the sugar and lemon corps that ship my supplies to make a new deal. In the end everyone will be out of foreclosure and people in America will no longer be parched. :thup: The price of oil will only be $0.10 to the gallon and there will no longer be any global warming.

Your logic is impeccable!

 

[Ninva]

First thing I will do is raise my price of glass to $1.25 where the $.25 will be for taxes, once that's done I will start hiring new employees that I have fired to recover my business. The next thing is work with the sugar, cups, and lemon corps that ship my supplies to make a new deal. In the end everyone will be out of foreclosure and people in America will no longer be parched. :thup: The price of oil will only be $0.10 to the gallon and there will no longer be any global warming.

What kind of employees will you choose to hire? What will be there salaries, Mr. ReVolver. You see, I can not loan you eight billion dollars without knowing these specific details. I must ensure a bright future for the American people.

 

[ReVolver]

What kind of employees will you choose to hire?
Anyone with an IQ higher than -1 and probably isn't allergic to lemons.

What will be there salaries?
Anything between $8.00-$12.00/h depending on what they do.


The bright future is already starting, lemons cure everything!

"When lemons give you life, you make lifenade."


The campaign for my bailout has already started lets us now share our glorious message to everyone!

 

[Prometheus]

*tear* It's so beautiful!

I'm head of advertising. Buy this stuff or we will do stuff to your dog/house.

Note: Our hiring criteria is as followed.
Must have an IQ of > 90, and must know a programming language. Jass suggested