World Japan: More Japanese marrying friends / acquaintances because they don’t want to bother with dating

[tom_mai78101]

TOKYO — Crazily enough, about 60% of Japanese women and 76% of Japanese men in their 20s report having no romantic partner, yet about 80% of unmarried Japanese say they’re looking towards marriage as a major life goal.

These seemingly incongruous numbers raise an obvious question: How does one expect to get married without first finding a romantic partner and fostering a relationship that will eventually lead to tying the knot? The Japanese answer? Apparently, “Screw all that dating stuff. I’ll just marry whoever’s convenient.”

A handful of celebrity marriages have apparently helped spark the new trend of “kosai zero nichikon” (roughly translated, “marrying without dating”). Famously, actress Maki Horikita married co-star Koji Yamamoto in 2015 after just a month and change of dating, sparking some Twitter users to share stories of their own shotgun marriages.

According to a Matome Naver compilation of news stories related to the phenomenon, many Japanese are choosing to marry friends and acquaintances to save on time and financial commitments that come with dating. Others appear to believe that marrying someone you aren’t dating isn’t just an acceptable last resort, it’s actually better that way, eliminating the emotional exchanges of dating and allowing people to cut straight to the point. A column in the Joshi Spa! magazine even described hunting for a marriage partner in the traditional way as akin to committing suicide.

Unsurprisingly, there’s no empirical evidence that “kosai zero nichikon” is taking Japan by storm and it’s most likely a niche movement among the fringes of romantically frustrated Japanese. Still, there’s a precedent here with Japan’s now mostly defunct omiai arranged marriage culture – which saw Japanese parents suggesting partners for their adult children. While many Japanese date and marry in the name of love, quite a few view marriage pragmatically, as a means to an end or an unavoidable obligation.

More Japanese marrying friends and acquaintances because they don’t want to bother with dating

Crazily enough, about 60% of Japanese women and 76% of Japanese men in their 20s report having no romantic partner, yet about 80% of unmarried Japanese say they’re looking towards marriage as a major life goal. These seemingly incongruous numbers raise an obvious question: How does one expect to...

japantoday.com

Brief quote on what all of this means:

Omiai is NOT a culture of arranged marriages. It was (and is) a system for meeting people in order to evaluate them as marriage partners. Parents may or may not be involved. I personally know Japanese women who have gone through scores of omiai on their own initiative before personally deciding on "Mr. Right."

If one wants an "arranged marriage culture," Pakistan is one place you can find it: young girls married to a man selected by their parents they have never met.

Further, the system is not "mostly defunct." The author of this article appears to read Japanese magazines, at least down market men's magazines. If he is fluent in Japanese, he should know that some people still go the omiai route and local communities especially in provincial areas sponsor "omiai parties" to help young people find mates.

 

[jonas]

If one wants an "arranged marriage culture," Pakistan is one place you can find it: young girls married to a man selected by their parents they have never met.

One has to appreciate the bias of some people. It's also young men married to a woman they have never met, selected by their parents. Why hide half of the truth?

 

[Accname]

One has to appreciate the bias of some people. It's also young men married to a woman they have never met, selected by their parents. Why hide half of the truth?

Because girls are more important. Fuck guys, nobody wants to see those.