Story

[Nerzhul]

I have got a story idea for my RPG and I'd like to see what you guys thinks of it :

Demons has invades the kingdom of Kirnvan. Nobody knows who called upon them. They bring the destruction and ravaged any form of life on their passage. Believing quite lost hope,the king found a ancient parchment in the catacombs of the castle which speaks about an ancient holy weapon capable of banishing the dark evil. He ordered to his best soldiers to searches for the fragments... But during the journey, a storm occurred...

So?What you think?I should edit it a bit or include it in my RPG as it is

 

[Yoshii]

not bad, the spelling and structure need to be looked at though.

 

[Nerzhul]

I'm not very good with english

 

[Yoshii]

let me try and correct what you meant to write.

Demons have invaded the kingdom of Kirnvan. Nobody knows where they came from nor who called them but one thing is certain, they brought nothing but destruction and carnage on their passage. Believing the cause to be lost,the king found an ancient parchment in the catacombs of the castle that tell about an ancient holy weapon capable of banishing the invaders. He ordered his best soldiers to searches for the fragments... Alas during their journey, a storm has occurred...

 

[Bloodydood]

I have got a story idea for my RPG and I'd like to see what you guys thinks of it :

Demons has invades the kingdom of Kirnvan. Nobody knows who called upon them. They bring the destruction and ravaged any form of life on their passage. Believing quite lost hope,the king found a ancient parchment in the catacombs of the castle which speaks about an ancient holy weapon capable of banishing the dark evil. He ordered to his best soldiers to searches for the fragments... But during the journey, a storm occurred...

So?What you think?I should edit it a bit or include it in my RPG as it is

Demons have invaded the kingdom of Kirnvan. Nobody knows who called upon them. They brought destruction and ravaged any form of life in their paths. Believing all hope was lost, the king found an ancient parchment in the catacombs of the castle. The parchment spoke of an ancient, holy weapon, capable of banishing the dark and evil. However, as the parchment says, the weapon was split into several pieces. The king ordered his best soldiers to search for the fragments.

During the search, though, a storm occurred...

Fixed.

There's a lot of ways to rephrase this.

 

[Nerzhul]

Thanks ^_^
Maybe after the storm they find themselves stuck in an island.And,luckily, the first fragment is in a sunken city that is not far away.The isle ,throught, was inhabited by trolls.But they're friendly and even accepted them in their villages.But after some hours,the demons came here and corrupted almost all the trolls