WraithFire
New Member
- Reaction score
- 0
My introduction: this is actually an excerpt and summary from my novel, the title I wrote before "twilight" came out, I did expect something as pure competition. I'm just checking to see if it is good enough to be read, or if I should just keep it to myself. So far, some of the people where I study heard about it, my english teacher wants to read it.
I also need comments and everyone can be as frank as they want to
, I wish I can upload a picture of one of my characters, but I still don't know how. I've already thought of most of the story, but i'll only put three chapter summaries of my book A (Dark Timeline), hope you enjoy...
Retracing the Past
“… They would never let go of the past with him (father) in their arms briefly, they earned their freedom from the demons’ clutches, spending little of their liberty together. When mother came in to their son’s life, they felt an unnerving aura about her, the relations would’ve been destroyed, but he showed true love. They had no choice but to accept his decision.”
“Back then, he was a boy, they’re grown up now, a bond impregnable even by death. Matrimony would soon come by, the man’s bond with his family has finally come to pass. The parents too overprotective of their sons wellbeing sobbed.”
“The two lovers went far off, his parents still with great distrust, have not seen him for a year. Mother died shortly after my conception, father had fallen to complete lunacy over a short time, weeping at what he lost, his heart weak… stopped beating. I was alone, he died beside his wife’s grave. A spirit took him in embrace, and carried him into the sepulcher. It was mother, but I felt no better.”
Love of One’s Child
“A ship came, bearing two people (father’s parents), they came along to see their son, they saw me beside his grave. Confused, they were, they touch me, having a glimpse of what misery had happened to their son. Their aged hearts couldn’t hold on the agony, the spear they used as an oar, they pointed at me, still defenseless and young.”
“Mindlessly, I was held on my nape, waiting only to be impaled. Their anger was fierce, for trusting mother. Then, mother’s spirit came, they talked between their feuds, mother held a smile. Then father’s ghost appeared as well, I was a gift to them he said, especially for his mother who wanted grandchildren. The living couple’s grievance was not over, but I was taken for some sort of diplomacy, ‘Take care of my daughter, give her the love you gave me’ father said. Then the apparitions faded away.”
“Heartbroken and unnerved of what they saw, they sailed away back home. Grandmother named me “Serenity”, as I was given to keep the peace between my living grandparents and my deceased parents.”
A Memory not Forgotten
“It’s strange actually… of how a princess of a grandeur regime, be degraded lower than that of a slave. Even if my parent’s passed away and my two grandparents have turned me into their servant, I’m happy to at least have them alive.”
“When grandmother’s sister first saw me, she believed I was her sister’s grandchild. Apparently, grandmother had in her heart rage, she said I am their made, not related at all. Her pride towards their petty competition was strong, grandmother viewed me as taint in her bloodline. But I was always gentle and modest in my actions, still, she was unappreciative of what good I’ve done or how I benefited in her health. Her sister introduced her children, my two twin male cousins. They were always spoiled by their loved ones, not me, I was a reject in their eyes.”
“My two cousins would always hurt me, break something and use me as their scapegoat. By night, my grandparents disallow me from ever sleeping with them in their hut. They planned on killing me earlier, but were frightened if the spirits ever so such atrocity. The dull-witted plan of letting the elements kill me was their choice instead.”
I also need comments and everyone can be as frank as they want to
, I wish I can upload a picture of one of my characters, but I still don't know how. I've already thought of most of the story, but i'll only put three chapter summaries of my book A (Dark Timeline), hope you enjoy...Retracing the Past
“… They would never let go of the past with him (father) in their arms briefly, they earned their freedom from the demons’ clutches, spending little of their liberty together. When mother came in to their son’s life, they felt an unnerving aura about her, the relations would’ve been destroyed, but he showed true love. They had no choice but to accept his decision.”
“Back then, he was a boy, they’re grown up now, a bond impregnable even by death. Matrimony would soon come by, the man’s bond with his family has finally come to pass. The parents too overprotective of their sons wellbeing sobbed.”
“The two lovers went far off, his parents still with great distrust, have not seen him for a year. Mother died shortly after my conception, father had fallen to complete lunacy over a short time, weeping at what he lost, his heart weak… stopped beating. I was alone, he died beside his wife’s grave. A spirit took him in embrace, and carried him into the sepulcher. It was mother, but I felt no better.”
Love of One’s Child
“A ship came, bearing two people (father’s parents), they came along to see their son, they saw me beside his grave. Confused, they were, they touch me, having a glimpse of what misery had happened to their son. Their aged hearts couldn’t hold on the agony, the spear they used as an oar, they pointed at me, still defenseless and young.”
“Mindlessly, I was held on my nape, waiting only to be impaled. Their anger was fierce, for trusting mother. Then, mother’s spirit came, they talked between their feuds, mother held a smile. Then father’s ghost appeared as well, I was a gift to them he said, especially for his mother who wanted grandchildren. The living couple’s grievance was not over, but I was taken for some sort of diplomacy, ‘Take care of my daughter, give her the love you gave me’ father said. Then the apparitions faded away.”
“Heartbroken and unnerved of what they saw, they sailed away back home. Grandmother named me “Serenity”, as I was given to keep the peace between my living grandparents and my deceased parents.”
A Memory not Forgotten
“It’s strange actually… of how a princess of a grandeur regime, be degraded lower than that of a slave. Even if my parent’s passed away and my two grandparents have turned me into their servant, I’m happy to at least have them alive.”
“When grandmother’s sister first saw me, she believed I was her sister’s grandchild. Apparently, grandmother had in her heart rage, she said I am their made, not related at all. Her pride towards their petty competition was strong, grandmother viewed me as taint in her bloodline. But I was always gentle and modest in my actions, still, she was unappreciative of what good I’ve done or how I benefited in her health. Her sister introduced her children, my two twin male cousins. They were always spoiled by their loved ones, not me, I was a reject in their eyes.”
“My two cousins would always hurt me, break something and use me as their scapegoat. By night, my grandparents disallow me from ever sleeping with them in their hut. They planned on killing me earlier, but were frightened if the spirits ever so such atrocity. The dull-witted plan of letting the elements kill me was their choice instead.”
