Compilation of Writings - Hortononon

[hortononon]

Iv'e decided to keep one thread for poems proses and stories i write, so there will be only one thread people in the writers corner go to (its just a joke), anyway ill post all my stuff here so i can get better at writing, and have all ur feedback in one spot. Starting with a little prose i just now wrote:

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Reasons

"Why are we moving to a new home?" asked the innocent six year old boy whose parents had divorced. The child's mother sighed.
""Because your father wishes to stay here."
"Why is he not coming with us?"
"Because he is letting me take care of you, now lets get our things into the car." They packed, and the Dad came out so he could give a farewell. He stooped down to his little boy, "Listen champ, i'll be seeing you in a few days, so don't be worrying. You enjoy school, and your new home. Soon enough you will see me again."
"Why don't you want to be with mommy?" The parents glanced at one another
"We have to go our separate ways."
"Why?"
"Everything happens for a reason, you'll see." The mom and kid gave their goodbyes and hopped into the car. She slid her key into the ignition, and turned it, but the vehicle did not start. She tried again and again, getting more frustrated. It was dead.
"Why is this happening?" She shouted into the air. Then the child gave a reply,
"Everything happens for a reason."
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one of my very first poems, posted in poetry contest 2...

The reasons we do right and wrong
Evil lies within us
Some rise above it, others are caught
They're fish who grab for bait

They have a choice to stay or run
A stranger holds a gift
To run will free you of the darkness
To stay you have the gift

Something makes you wonder on
Something makes you yearn
You stay because of evil's clutch
You let it take your mind

This thing will show through all of life
It cannot be contained
It can be scratched, it can be scarred
But never will it end​

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this is based of a story i was told about a very intelligent proffesor who change a student's life..




Laws of the Mind

The proffesor sat at his desk staring intently into his book, while the students worked quietly on their projects. The assignment was to write an essay about what you believe laws are all about. Well, a bright young spirited fellow, who was one to be thought of as intelligent, wrote on this topic in a way different from many others. Yet, many others thought this way. He wrote that each and every human being, makes their own laws, and that you yourself make something right or wrong in your own mind. The next day, the students entered the proffesor's classroom along with the energetic youngster who spent a long time on his essay. They handed them in one by one in a line. Class continued as the essays were graded, and the following day handed back. When the kid came to get his, confident he'd recieve an 'A', the proffesor surprised him. The student asked what he'd been given. The proffesor said to him, "I don't like the color green, which is the color of the folder you put your essay in, so you recieved an 'F'."
"What!? That's not fair at all!" the student angerly replied.
"Fair? You said yourself i decide what is and is not fair. Are you saying there is a sense of good and evil in your mind? In your essay you were completely against that."
"Wow, you're right." And with that the student walked to his desk, sat down, and thought over all his beliefs. The next day he had changed completely.
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[Hero]

Please do not double post....Use your first post as the post where you put all of your work...

And your work is pretty interesting

 

[hortononon]

ty,

alright i will.

 

[Ninva]

"Everything happens for a reason."

I think I've heard this from somewhere... I don't know where though. D:

 

[Halahan]

nice avatar Hero

rotfl, had to do that.

 

[hortononon]

Updated with a new story,


there Halahan goes again with meaningless posts of death and despair. Just playin

 

[Halahan]

Wasn't meaningless. It made Hero feel all warm and fuzzy inside


edit: rotfl, now I look and he's changed it. BOooooo!!!

edit edit: The Laws story is good except for the last two lines ' And thought over his beliefs. The next day he changed completely.' those are bad. elaborate?

 

[Fatmankev]

I only read the first story because I'm a lazy bastard, but I thought it was pretty funny - that seems like something a child would say after just hearing it. I thought that the way the boy spoke sounded a little over-mature for someone his age, but it didn't take much away from the short story. Either way, interesting little piece, and keep up the good work.

 

[hortononon]

bump

 

[hortononon]

Bump.

Have a nice day.

 

[hortononon]

the bump of desperation


i guess if it still doesnt get read, ill just let this thread pass on, atleast until i update it with more writing...

 

[Halahan]

“Caitlin,/Caitlin not needed/ hand me that screwdriver. I’m gonna have to fix this the hard way.”
“Here ya go/./” They, Caitlin and Ben, were working on a vehicle that had broken down. Ben was a mechanic, with trusty Caitlin /kind of sounds like Caitlin is a guy at this point, and the trusty should be taken out/ at his side as an assistant. Their shop resided on the corner of a street called Sailington Avenue./Their shop resided on the corner of Sailington Avenue./ It was basically an ordinary garage that everybody came to when needing help with their cars, because it was the only auto-shop in Folburg./so is it just a garage or an auto-shop, or what? explain more/ They had been in the mechanic business for over three years. Caitlin, twenty six years old, was a beautiful girl./sentence sounds weird, twenty six years old and a beautiful girl?/ She was quite /take out quite/ tall, with long curly brown/long, curly-brown/ hair. Her face was smooth, and overall she had an enjoyable tom-boy look to her. Ben, who was twenty-nine, had a brown calico, and a hard manly face /and had a hard face/ that was smothered in grease, but held a sturdy convincing smile. /that implies his smiles are sometimes fake, or that he convinces people about things with his smile. If you're going for either, that is fine, but just pointing that out/The two were Fiancés, planning on getting married in three months.
As happy as they were, something terrible ended their glee/bad word (glee) change it/ and changed their life. Crimes were discovered, but they were no ordinary crimes. These acts were beyond evil./It isn't exactly ordinary crimes, sure, but there are infiltrators in the government, there are murders and kidnappers. beyond evil? Seems to dramatic for something like this/ The FBI discovered a mole inside the government. Whoever it was, knowing only that is was a male, he had attempted to give secrets to enemy countries, but luckily the deliveries were stopped. That was the least of the actions. This man had stolen large sums of money, kidnapped agents, and murdered three of them. Of the three, one was Ben’s father. As Ben heard the news he grieved and cursed the man for hours and hours. /Again, a bit to over-dramatized for the situation. Plus, do you really think that the government would tell him they had a mole and all that information? Governments are to secretive, maybe have him figure out how and why first/Finally he decided what he must do. Ben explained to Caitlin that he had to become an agent; he had to avenge his father. /Just goes out to become an agent to avenge his father? Not a very complicated plot. That probably wouldn't happen in real life. he might think about it, he might just gather information first. Maybe Caitlin protests... just let her fiance become a spy to avenge his father all of a sudden? kind of a cheasy plot line.Caitlin thought over it for awhile, and consented once Ben promised to stay in touch. So he entered training. Already knowing many skills from life experiences,/what life experiences?/ he passed the training sooner than average. Ben was now married to Caitlin, and felt bad he would be working for so much time, but knew he had to do it. A year of training and qualifying later,/badly formed sentence/ he was an agent. He could finally get revenge, but it would take a lot of work.

One year later./To movie-style/

“Ben? Ben, are you there?” A rusty voice struggled/struggled? doesn't sound right, even though I know what you're going for/ through the communicator to Ben’s ear.
“Yea. I’m just searching for some clues, prints, anything.” He moved calmly through the room lifting objects, and inspecting particular spots with his tools. /What tools?/ He had spent the entire day at the crime scene, where one of the murders had taken place. It was a hotel room, in a cheap little hotel with slow business. All he had found was knife case, but it was to no avail. This guy was to smart to leave anything behind. It was scary how smart this man was, but Ben had an advantage: ambition. He had a passion, desire, a will to catch this maniac and crush him. Ben was devoted. He would not stop until he had done what he needed to do.

Its not bad. Just nothing has really surprised me so far and there are some sentences and such that could use some work.